Pregnancy Forum - Ranting And Raving About Teen Pregnancy

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Q: Ranting And Raving About Teen Pregnancy

asked by: Da_Dez_Bombzzz on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

I don't know who asked me, but when I said "gay" I didn't mean it in the homosexual way, just "gay" as in I used the word wrong in that sentance. Why should it matter..Lol.

And, I wasn't critisizing just her, most of the women under the age of 16 I was..Lol there is a difference. I know there are ppl out there who can afford/have the means to raise children at a young age...

But what truly bothers me is that I am 20 yrs old, no kids, college education in the works, I work hard for everything I have, and I am still learning. Every day my parents, friends, the news, boyfriend, whoever...I learn everyday. I couldn't see a child raising a child...It just probably would go wrong. Thats my issue. You can all debate with me, tell me your sob stories about you getting preggo at 13, and I will still stick with my opinion. I feel that life is a learning expierence, and how can you have a child when you are still learning yourself? Esp. At so young?> (children that come from a rape are definately excluded in this argument)

so can someone explain that? How can you bring a child into the world when you are a child yourself? I mean, I am 20 and I consider myself an adult, yet I feel that I could be able to raise a child since I have a decent job, so does the bf, we both have an apt we share, and so on...I could never find myself at 13,14,15 having a child and raising them without some type of help...Financial or otherwise.

Feel free to debate, I know its comming..............

Replies(120)

Emma2

replied on June 21st, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

It beats me how they do it...Im 29 and im terrified! I have a great job and a new car and a beautiful condo and i'm terrified !! I really dont get it how they do it!

Da_Dez_Bombzzz

replied on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

emma2 wrote:

it beats me how they do it...Im 29 and im terrified! I have a great job and a new car and a beautiful condo and i'm terrified !! I really dont get it how they do it!

hahaa, it happens if you click submit a few times when the cpu is going slow.
Atleast someone agrees with me..Lol wait just wait for the massive amounts of posts and ppl will hate me lol

Mabel

replied on June 21st, 2006

Moderator

Ignorance is bliss. ;) they don't know enough to be afraid. I was that girl once too. 16 years old and I had no idea what the real world was like. I think that is how they do it. You are still very sheltered (usually) at that point in your life and you just don't have a clue in the world what a baby is going to do to the rest of your life. On the other hand, you get a real quick education into parenthood and responsibility.

It is sad. If I could do it all over again, I would not have had a child so young ~ but you can't go back and you just do what you do. My son is 20 now.

AlliE_18

replied on June 21st, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Im 17 so im a bit older than the ones you seem to be referring to, my son is 3 months old, im on benefits (welfare as you call it but its more money here in the uk theres more help for housing too), it doesnt mean I cant be a good parent. Some older mums are worse parents than us younger ones, I think it depends on the type of person you are, not whether you have a college education a huge house n loads of money. Theres nothing wrong with accepting help, if its offered to you and you need it. But people in america seem to have a real problem with people on welfare like they are less human because of it....Aint like that in the uk.

Emma2

replied on June 21st, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

You know that was a very interesting comment. Ingi! "ignorance is bliss" it is so true. They have no clue what the real world is like until it hits them in the face so hard! And allie , your included in the babies having babies....And with your grandfather pedophile boyfriend you make the 1 number on our list.

Da_Dez_Bombzzz

replied on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

allie_18 wrote:

im 17 so im a bit older than the ones you seem to be referring to, my son is 3 months old, im on benefits (welfare as you call it but its more money here in the uk theres more help for housing too), it doesnt mean I cant be a good parent. Some older mums are worse parents than us younger ones, I think it depends on the type of person you are, not whether you have a college education a huge house n loads of money. Theres nothing wrong with accepting help, if its offered to you and you need it. But people in america seem to have a real problem with people on welfare like they are less human because of it....Aint like that in the uk.

well, I have a problem paying for children brought into this world by "little girls" who are 20 with 3 kids. Thats just insane..Sorry not my style. But you are right, if you can do it you can, it does depend on you...But most people..I will tell you...I am frightned..Do you watch the news?! Lol.

Da_Dez_Bombzzz

replied on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

ingi wrote:

ignorance is bliss. ;) they don't know enough to be afraid. I was that girl once too. 16 years old and I had no idea what the real world was like. I think that is how they do it. You are still very sheltered (usually) at that point in your life and you just don't have a clue in the world what a baby is going to do to the rest of your life. On the other hand, you get a real quick education into parenthood and responsibility.

It is sad. If I could do it all over again, I would not have had a child so young ~ but you can't go back and you just do what you do. My son is 20 now.

yeah..I suppose. Yet, I am the same age as your son? I just don't see most lil kids being able to do it...

Kia

replied on June 21st, 2006

Moderator

I'm sincerely hoping you haven't started this purely for debate.

Quite simply a lot of teens girls have got pregnant whilst using birth control.
You will also notice that it is often said over in teen pregnancy that we are here to support those that have got pregnant/have children and not to support/encourage those that want to get pregnant.

The girls in teen pregnancy spend most of their time telling other girls that they are silly for wanting to get pregnant at a young age.

However, having got pregnant/had kids why should they give up their children because you think you couldn't cope?
They all try their best and for the most part succeed very well. Sure they have their slips ups but you will find even experienced parents in their 20's and 30's and above will also have slipups.

These girls sacrifice a lot to be good parents and should most definately not be put down for it.
My mom is 16 years older than me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Da_Dez_Bombzzz

replied on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

kia_breizzze wrote:

i'm sincerely hoping you haven't started this purely for debate.

Quite simply a lot of teens girls have got pregnant whilst using birth control.

You will also notice that it is often said over in teen pregnancy that we are here to support those that have got pregnant/have children and not to support/encourage those that want to get pregnant.

The girls in teen pregnancy spend most of their time telling other girls that they are silly for wanting to get pregnant at a young age.

However, having got pregnant/had kids why should they give up their children because you think you couldn't cope?

They all try their best and for the most part succeed very well. Sure they have their slips ups but you will find even experienced parents in their 20's and 30's and above will also have slipups.

These girls sacrifice a lot to be good parents and should most definately not be put down for it.

My mom is 16 years older than me and I wouldn't have it any other way.

no..Not for debate, someone just asked me something in another thread, and they locked it so I couldn't reply..Its like a continuiance...*sp*

anyways..Yes, I understand where you are comming from..Yet, I never said anything about the girls giving away the children..Did i? I mearly stated that I couldn't see it being possible for alot of younger girls, many just aren't ready. I understand the b/c thing, trust me on that one, someone I know in high school was pregnant becuase of that. I don't get angry with people like that, I get angry when they try to have children...Like on maury. Lol.

Kia

replied on June 21st, 2006

Moderator

sandralynn wrote:

theres nothing wrong with accepting help when you need it-- but the peopel that accept it so they dont have to work to provide for their children are another case. There are girls out there that have children solely because they say "oh its ok. The state will pay me."

i have a strong hatred for those people.

unfortunately here in the uk right now it is very very difficult to be a working single parent.
Child care costs are extortionate.

I know several people who could either work and make just enough to put their kid in day care or they can stay home for the same amount of money.

I know for a fact that if all my wages were going to pay someone else to bring my kid up then screw it, i'd rather stay home and bring my kid up my way.

Da_Dez_Bombzzz

replied on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

sandralynn wrote:

allie_18 wrote:

oh yes, you got that right sandra!!! I find that appauling..That every time I get a paycheck, taxes take out about 200 or more dollars of my check..Where does that money go? Oh I know where it goes

Mabel

replied on June 21st, 2006

Moderator

kia_breizzze wrote:

sandralynn wrote:

unfortunately here in the uk right now it is very very difficult to be a working single parent.

Child care costs are extortionate.

I know several people who could either work and make just enough to put their kid in day care or they can stay home for the same amount of money.

I know for a fact that if all my wages were going to pay someone else to bring my kid up then screw it, i'd rather stay home and bring my kid up my way.

it is the same in the state, kia. Daycare costs are more than some people make in a month. It doesn't make sense to work. But daycare workers also have to make money and people want the best care for their children ~ so where does this get solved in today's 2 person income family lifestyles?

Da_Dez_Bombzzz

replied on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

kia_breizzze wrote:

sandralynn wrote:

unfortunately here in the uk right now it is very very difficult to be a working single parent.

Child care costs are extortionate.

I know several people who could either work and make just enough to put their kid in day care or they can stay home for the same amount of money.

I know for a fact that if all my wages were going to pay someone else to bring my kid up then screw it, i'd rather stay home and bring my kid up my way.

AyaMiyaki

replied on June 21st, 2006

Especially eHealthy

What's sickening is seeing these people in the grocery store. They've got their hair done, fake nails on their hands, talking on a flashy flip phone, and buying doritos and cocacola with their food stamps. The system is severely flawed. I think they should rework the food stamp program and make it more like .W.I.C, where you have a list of approved foods that you can buy... Like a certain allotment for fresh meat, vegetables, eggs, milk, bread, fruit, juice, and a *small* allowance for luxury foods, like chips and soda. At least in my state, anything that is considered edible (with the exception of alcohol) is available to purchase on food stamps. It's infuriating to watch people waste my tax dollars on $30 birthday cakes from the grocery store bakery when a box of cake mix costs something like 89 cents. If you're in such a financial struggle that you need assistance, you don't *need* a professional cake... Bake the damn thing yourself.

*edit* by "these people" I do not mean teen mothers. I mean people in general that work the system. I just wanted to make that clear. :)

AlliE_18

replied on June 21st, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

A lot of teens in the uk get pregnant so they can get free government houses/apartments. I didnt plan it, I was on birth control. I could work but as im not trained in anything or have any qualifications past high school, I wouldnt make enough money to make us better off than being on benefits. So why should I bother?

If I work, then I have to pay for the place we live in wheras right now I pay no rent just the water rates charge, and I would have to pay a daycare for my son to be in while I work. My job would probly be in a store on minimum wage, so that would be all my money gone just about.

I wouldnt have gained anything, but I would have lost the time I spend with my son every day. Its not worth it just because tax payers(i mean people who work) think its morally wrong. Its upto the government, if they want to help with housing and benefits as much as they do, then people should be mad with them not us.

Da_Dez_Bombzzz

replied on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

ayamiyaki wrote:

what's sickening is seeing these people in the grocery store. They've got their hair done, fake nails on their hands, talking on a flashy flip phone, and buying doritos and cocacola with their food stamps. The system is severely flawed. I think they should rework the food stamp program and make it more like .W.I.C, where you have a list of approved foods that you can buy... Like a certain allotment for fresh meat, vegetables, eggs, milk, bread, fruit, juice, and a *small* allowance for luxury foods, like chips and soda. At least in my state, anything that is considered edible (with the exception of alcohol) is available to purchase on food stamps. It's infuriating to watch people waste my tax dollars on $30 birthday cakes from the grocery store bakery when a box of cake mix costs something like 89 cents. If you're in such a financial struggle that you need assistance, you don't *need* a professional cake... Bake the damn thing yourself.

*edit* by "these people" I do not mean teen mothers. I mean people in general that work the system. I just wanted to make that clear. :)

oh snap, I didn't even get that far as to rant about the fake nails/hair ! Haha, thanks for doing it for me. I wish the us really did more as in improving the system..There are people that still fraud the government, some don't even have children!

AyaMiyaki

replied on June 21st, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Allie, just a quick question. Do you receive any kind of financial assistance from your child's father? (not trying to judge, just curious :) )

Da_Dez_Bombzzz

replied on June 21st, 2006

Experienced User

allie_18 wrote:

a lot of teens in the uk get pregnant so they can get free government houses/apartments. I didnt plan it, I was on birth control. I could work but as im not trained in anything or have any qualifications past high school, I wouldnt make enough money to make us better off than being on benefits. So why should I bother?

If I work, then I have to pay for the place we live in wheras right now I pay no rent just the water rates charge, and I would have to pay a daycare for my son to be in while I work. My job would probly be in a store on minimum wage, so that would be all my money gone just about.

I wouldnt have gained anything, but I would have lost the time I spend with my son every day. Its not worth it just because tax payers(i mean people who work) think its morally wrong. Its upto the government, if they want to help with housing and benefits as much as they do, then people should be mad with them not us.

i have a huge problem with that..Because you are accepting the money knowing that you could indeed have a job...When other ppl out there are in worse situtations then you are. Thats just being obnoxious.

candita_sky

replied on June 21st, 2006

Advanced Support Team

I hate daycare (the shellking out of all my paycheck to them that is) I am a stay at home mom of 3 1 on way and my dh is the only wage owner here. I would have to hand over all my check and then some for some one to watch them and take them to and from school(8yr old ) pre-school (4) and to developmental pre-school and then to reg pre0-school (3) so I stay home and it is just better that way. But yes it is upsetting to see young ones trying to become pregnant but remember not all of them tried. Some did use bc and I can tell you not all work since 2 of my kids were conceived on diff types of it. Some were raped so do give them a break when it comes to the blame game. Not all are like that and maybe for the ones that are preg. Or have a baby can give insight for the ones trying.

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