I Like My Eating Problem

Your not healthy either your bmi score is 15.9 that is .9 above being emaciated. I battled with ana for years too and its not healthy at all. Its hard getting well and I am still struggling.

Megan

I hate to hear that. .Ive been struggling with ana and mia for years and I am now finally recovering. Pregnancy is my motivator. Ive been recovering for 1 1/2 months. I know there were times when I wasnt ashamed of it, and didnt want to stop too.. But it is never okay. And no, you dont have control as long as u have an e/d. .Period. No matter what stage in anorexia or an e/d, its always unhealthy.. And dangerous. To me, this post almost sounds like a ''praise annie'' post..An eating disorder is never a good thing. U can be thin other ways. An e/d only makes u temporarily thin.. Unless u plan on living like this forever.. Once u start eating normal after ruining your metabolism with an e/d.. U gain much faster for a while.

But why do we have to get well if we can keep it at an acceptable balance? I'm not going to ever go below 90lbs. I can understand you wanting to get well b/c maybe you can't control it as well. Like, you just can't stop loosing weight or maybe you are tired of it controlling you? Don't let it control you! Use annie as a tool. Don't let her have total control over you and just use her to keep you at a healthy balance. I'm sorry, I know i'm not making sense and I probably should stop polluting your head with my mindless blabber. Just disregaurd all that i've said, okay?

U make a bit of sense. .But think about it realistically here.. U said, use it as a tool and healthy balance? Its not healthy.. And its not a 'tool' .. Its a disease... I just dont want the wrong people to read this.. Such as the young ones..Or the people debating wether they want to recover or not.

I'm not praising annie, I just don't mind her being there. I can't help it, but it feels like I need her to be there. It comforts me to know that she's there always. I sound crazy to you and I know I sound crazy to everyone else as well, but I just can't help how I feel about this.

Hi
so how do you contain anne without throwing up? I always thought that was how?

Do you just not eat?

I know it may sound dumb to ask iam in my 30's and have never heard
anyone say they didn't throw up.

Are you healthy do you take vitamins? To me it might be a bit
scary to know a person can control it and wants to be still in the catagory of anne? Can you achieve the results with exersise and eating right?
Have you had problems with being overweight?
Iam soory for all the ???? I am just a bit concerend have you ever seen
the movie's on tracy gold? I know there are tons out there that are not famous but this is such a terrible thing that happens to alot of teens and
there is not much out there on it.I worry about you.I hope
you will be okay

Most people who throw up are bulimic. .But there are some who are purging anorexics.. Anorexic people do eat. .Just not enough to be considered eating healthy.. And alot of the time eating dangerously low amounts of food.. Wether they take vitamins or not, and some may, I used to when I was struggling, a vitamin still doesnt replace food.

And jhshirley~ u dont sound crazy.. Ive been there... Not that long ago either.. I used to feel comfort with my e/d. .But its once u start actually recovering and get out of your comfort zone when u realize..It is nothing but bad and u can be much happier w/ out it. I only will support recovery. I am still scared I could go back once I have this baby.. But for now.. I know that an e/d isnt comfort.. Its all in your mind.

Sorry I added more to my previous
I know vitamins don't replace food I was just thinking of the vitamin loss
and how do you feel?
In not knowing anyone close to me I did know of a girl at a plant I was working at in my late 20's that collapsed at work and died the next day
and it was from anne she wore layers of clothing lots of sweatshirts
and parachute pants so ya never could really tell what size she was.
We all felt pretty bad.Her body just finally gave out.I believe
she was 22.It was really sad.

Okay, l'm going to try and explain myself better and I hope it comes across as i'm intending for it to... Maybe I wouldn't be considered anorexic anymore b/c I can control it and being anorexic is all about the disease controlling you, right? For some strange (maybe sick) reason I just feel better knowing that I have the 'disease' still in my mind b/c if I do someday find that I am truly gaining weight and getting fat, annie will be able to take over and get me back to my normal weight again. It's like my security net.

Yes, I take a multi vitamin everyday and I work-out for 2 hours 5 times a week. I really do try to take care of myself and that just happens to include keeping myself thin also. I mean, being healthy will make you a thin person anyway. If you're healthy you don't eat fastfood, you drink tons of water, you workout, you take vitamins, you eat lots of fruits and veggies....So inevitably you end up being a thin person from the result of this healthy life-style.

Ic what u mean now... And thats great if ur healthy too.. Do u restrict anymore?

I see what you mean keeping it in your being is also helping
your well being!!

Good!!

Iam glad to read you are doing all you can.

You are in controll that is what you need!!

I wish for you the best!!!!!!!

I was worried for you !! Although it still worriesme if you come
to the point of letting it take over again!!

Karim18 - I must admit that I do restrict still, but I really, really do try to eat a normal amount of what I consider to be healthy foods. My biggest problem with anorexia is my struggle towards perfection. Do you know what I mean? I want to be perfect. It's hard b/c logically no one can be perfect, yet I still strive for it, everyday.

I think it's awesome that you are controlling your problem now that you are pregnant. I don't think I would be that strong. I like to say that I would be b/c I want my child to be healthy, but thinking about how big the baby will make me strikes a fear in my heart that makes my head spin!

I understand* well I hope that u can get better and one day realize that maybe u cant get any closer to perfection because maybe ur already as close as u can get* im glad u try to eat normally and u deserve to be able to do so* I know its hard. And one day if u do get pregnant and have a baby.. Hopefully it will change ur mind. . U just have to remember, while ur gaining, that all that weight is mostly baby* but goodluck hun*

Have you read anything about eating disorders? First of all you said you wieght 90 lbs right. Girl you are skinny !!! And I know you think you control this issue know but until an eating disorder is about controlling something. When something happens that make you loose control over some other thing in your life you may end up right back there again. If you can find info about nutrition and eat things that aren't going to cause you to gain mass amounts of weights. The most important thing I learned when coming out of all this was to love myself no matter how I looked (having 3 kids help there) and that god loves me. I know I have value and I don't need to 0% body fat now, and I can even eat chocolate and pastry etc. And not feel bad. I do still issues but I want to eat now. I wish you all the best in your battle, and I will pray for god to open your eyes and help you with this nasty situation.
Cherim

I'm confused, how do you go though life keeping anna right there without her taking over? It seems kinda risky but I am interested in learning how do achieve this balance you speak of. How did you get your family and friends to believe that you were better? Did you go to treatment? My boyfriend is trying to get me to go to treatment again. I was 101 lbs when I went into the hospital. ( i'm 5' 6") they got me up to 125 and I hated it so as soon as I got out I let anna help me lose 10 lbs . I feel that I could loose a little more but i'm okay with staying at 115. My family just wont leave me alone. Can you give me some advice on maintaining a balence and not panicking about food? Thanks.

I am responding to the last post. This is not something you can balance. Even when you feel like you are in control, one little change can send you spinning out of control. It has been 3 years since my last troubled time, and I thought it was over and now it is back. Don't play around with it, you could die!!! No one is in control of an eating disorder, thats a part of the eating disorder. Please be careful.

I need to keep her there just in case I need her. Like jhshirley says , its a security net. I want to learn how to balance it so my family will stop bugging me.

You said you want your family to stop bugging you, they bug because they love you. If you feel like you need anna, you can not be in control. The fact that you feel the need should tell you you are not in control. For your height I am pretty sure that you are still to skinny. Why don't you learn about eating heathly, and exercising to control your weight. Anna can not be controlled, it feels controlled until the next trigger. Maybe the people who think they have control, are in between triggers. Your family is right not to let go of this, you need help. Real help not more eating disorder problems. If you think you are in control you will find out the hard way that you are not. Please be careful. You need to find a way to love yourself and learn how to be healthy. May god bless you and give you peace. I will pray that god will allow you to see the damage you are doing to your body, and how to change it. The right way. I use to think I was in control, and I found out the hard way that I was not.

You should not do this if you do you are so crazy if you die for not eating your family will die to y you want to cause you are gone and not never comeing back think twic before you do this and iam at this page because iam doing a report for skool