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lilsexygirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 6
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Who Is the Dad?
Posted: 06-27-06 09:59am
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Hey im only 16 and I found out I was
pregnant june 19th but I dont remember
when the last time I had my period I cant
remember when but I think it was in the
first half of may. I had sex with my bf
june 2, 3, 5, and 16 and we used a condom
every single time. Then I had sex wit my
ex june 6 but it was less than a minute
cuz we stopped cuz we didnt use
protectionbut he didnt cum. I told my bf
that im pregnant but he doesnt kno about
the other guy n I told the other guy I am
n that it might b his or my bf's. My bf
said he doesnt want it n wudnt talk 2 me
if I keep it but my ex said he wud. So I
really hope its my boyfriends cuz my ex is
like a crackhead so I dont want him to b
my babbys dad. And I kno my bf will come
around when I have the baby cuz I am
keeping it. I have been wantin to tell my
mom that im pregnant cuz I want to go to
the doctors but iv been tryin to tell her
but its too hard n I dont kno how to tell
her so if any1 can give me advice plz I
wud appreciate it. And plz dont think im
a prostitute im not! Lol thnx
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Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 991
Location: South Carolina
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Posted: 06-27-06 10:05am
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I might be wrong here, but, unfortunately,
unless they tell you by ultrasound that
you conceived on the 15, you can't really
know unless you do a pat test. Having sex
with two different guys a day apart isn't
enough of a gap to tell, as it's not like
you have sex, he cumms and you're
automatically pregnant right that second.
It takes time.
If it is your ex's and he is unfit to be a
father to a child (you don't have to marry
him or anything), you can always try just
for child support. Just remember he has
rights, too, and you'd have to prove he
was unfit.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 06-27-06 10:17am
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Why did you have sex with your x the day
after you had sex with your b/f? (its
only a question)there is obviously a
chance that it can be either of them and
more so with the x cause you didn't use
any protection.If I were you and you don't
want you bf to find out,i would get a
blood test with the x when the baby is
born since he already knows you had sex
with someone else.If it comes back postive
I guess you lost your bf! If its negative
your bf has some responsibility now : )
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Jen UH biOtch
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2006
Posts: 80
Location: TEXAS =] waiting to go back to tha CHOCOLATE CiTY
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Posted: 06-27-06 11:05am
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Mel... Everyone has sex with their ex..
Blah blah blah thats always the story...
Any ways.. Im not being mean tho sweety..
I have friends who have been in your
position and I poked fun at them to just
to make light of the situation... I dont
think any of us on this forum are dna
test... So the best thing you could do is
wait ... Be honest with both guys who
could be the father and tell them it could
be either one of them and then do a dna
test when the baby is born.
If your low on money... Go to maury...
Lol he needs some fresh meat on his
shows... There all re-runs.. Lol
but I wish the best to you and your
situation.... Good luck and I hope it all
works out !!!
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lilsexygirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 6
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Posted: 06-27-06 11:21am
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I dont know y I had sex with my ex I think
because my bf was trying to have sex with
1 of my reallly good friends and I was
realllly mad so I did. But I shouldnt
have done that. Well I think that im
going to just get a dna test with my ex
first and if its not him then ill know its
my bf.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 8884
Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 171
Thanked:197
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Posted: 06-27-06 11:47am
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I agree! Be honest. You cannot with any
justification let your bf think it is
without a doubt his baby when you know
there is plenty of doubt. It would be
really unfair for him to go through your
entire pregnancy and child birth thinking
this baby is his when he may find out one
day it isn't.
Not an very good way to keep him in your
life. And it would be awfully painful for
all of you (baby included).
Tell him upfront. If you are being honest
with the ex, be honest with the boyfriend.
It will make everything easier in the
end.
Good luck.
Ps. It is highly unlikely you 'got
pregnant' on the 16th since you tested
positive on the 19th.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 06-27-06 12:07pm
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| jen uh biotch
wrote: | | mel... Everyone has sex
with their
ex.. |
not when they are with someone else. : )
wel if your man wanted to have sex with
one of our friends,i highly doubt he is
worth being the father of your baby.It
sounds like you got yourself in between a
cheater and a crackhead. . .How about
you tell each of them the baby is the
others and you can get out of the whole
loser streak and go fond a good man and
daddy material for the baby!
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lilsexygirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 6
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Posted: 06-27-06 12:42pm
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Thanx evry1... Well im not even talking
to my bf right now and im about to break
up with him because he doesnt want me to
keep the baby and I am so hes mad but I
wud never get rid of it. 2morrow I am
going to the doctors. Well my ex I dont
know how to describe him, he just sells
drugs so I dont want to talk to him so I
can find some body better than them.
Every 1 says my bf will come around
sometime but im not gonna wait for him
forever and if he wants to be like that
then im not gonna be wit him. I know I
shouldnt of had sex w/ my ex so idk wut I
was thinkin but its too late so it dont
matter any more wut I did cuz it already
happened. My boyfriend just got a job at
where I work so now im goin to have to see
him a lot even when we dont talk so its
gonna be weird and I have to work with him
today. But anyways im not worrying if I
can take care of the baby because I know I
can my family will help and I have a good
paying job and my school has a daycare.
But does anybody have any suggestions on
how to tell my parents?
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:03pm
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If your too scared you could write a
letter but most parents would rather you
come strait out and tell them face to
face.How do you think thay will react?
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 8005
Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:09pm
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If my boyfriend was trying to have sex
with my best friend, you can bet your ass
that he would be out the door. I wouldn't
be sticking around and having more sex
with him, I dont care how much you "love"
him that's not love that's stupid.
Good luck =/
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Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 991
Location: South Carolina
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:15pm
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My advice; just tell them to their faces
and get it overwith. That's pretty much
what I did. My parents were ticked off at
first, but they got over it... 99.9% of
the time, all parents do.
Good luck and be strong!
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lilsexygirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 6
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:18pm
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I think that I am goin to tell my mom that
im preg tomorrow after I go to the doctors
but I dont think shes going to be as mad
as my stepdad I dont think shell even be
that mad she will probly jus be
dissapointed but she will get over it.
Yeah im not even talking to him anymore so
I dont want to be with him now cuz I
realized I dont need him I have a lot of
other people that will help me cuz I know
he wont he said he wudnt take care of the
baby when I have it. But im still going
to have to see him @ work but oh well.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:20pm
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| lilsexygirl
wrote: |
he wont he said he wudnt take care of the
baby when I have it. But im still going
to have to see him @ work but oh
well. |
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 8005
Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:22pm
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Well good im glad =) itll be "weird"
seeing him at work but at least you're out
of the relationship with him.
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lilsexygirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 6
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:23pm
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Yea he said he wudnt do n e thing to help
except pay child support. Hes saying that
he has too much going on in his life. He
acts like I dont but it takes 2 to make a
baby n he acts like its just my fault.
But oh well im happy now because I can
find sum 1 better then him.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:30pm
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And you get a little one.Its not easy to
care for them though,they are lots of
work!
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 8884
Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 171
Thanked:197
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Posted: 06-27-06 13:59pm
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| lilsexygirl
wrote: | i think that I am goin to
tell my mom that im preg tomorrow after I
go to the doctors but I dont think shes
going to be as mad as my stepdad I dont
think shell even be that mad she will
probly jus be dissapointed but she will
get over it.
Yeah im not even talking to him anymore so
I dont want to be with him now cuz I
realized I dont need him I have a lot of
other people that will help me cuz I know
he wont he said he wudnt take care of the
baby when I have it. But im still going
to have to see him @ work but oh
well. |
i have to comment on the advice you are
getting that your boyfriend will 'come
around'. Why on earth would he? No one
even knows if he is the father. I
certainly can say I wouldn't want to 'come
around' to that notion.
That isn't meant to be a slam on you, it
is merely the honest truth. He isn't
going to come around, there is far too
much drama surrounding this pregnancy.
And, I got news for you and who ever the
father of your baby is, child support
isn't a 'choice' as to whether or not
he'll pay it. You go to court and he pays
it whether he chooses to or not. It will
get yanked directly out of his paycheck
before he has a chance to make a choice
whether he is going to pay it this month
or not.
You are right, it does take 2 to make a
baby. But in this case, it took 3 people
to make your baby and you need to be aware
that there is a high probability that it
belongs to your ex and you will be stuck
with him the rest of your life now.
People think that if you have a child and
just don't put the father on the birth
certificate then you are done with that
person. You aren't. You carry that
person inside of you for 9 months. You
bathe, feed, clothe and tend to that
person for 18 + years! You are never
'rid' of the father of your baby,
regardless of anything - because whenever
you look at your child, there he is.
Every. Single. Time.
It is worse when they have visitation and
you also have to see them and be involved
with them for 18 years, every birthday,
.Christmas, school event, major life
decisions, graduations, marriages,
grandchildren (although this is obviously
much later!), etc. You are never, ever
rid of the father of your child.
True, you can find someone 'better' - but
that person now has to be willing to
become an 'instant' daddy. Those men are
few and far between. Concentrate on you.
Concentrate on graduating high school.
Concentrate on getting through the next 9
months of pregnancy. Concentrate on
growing up. Men will be around the whole
rest of your life. You have enough to
deal with right now.
Good luck!
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lilsexygirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 6
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Posted: 06-27-06 15:08pm
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And I dont think that every 1 is going to
buy me things. Im the one going to be
buying things. I said people will support
me. And im not looking at a "little kids"
view ever since I found out I was
pregnant, I think I look at everything a
lot different. Things have changed
already.
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 6492
Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 06-27-06 15:36pm
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Sorry, I always find it funny that girls
can't remember their period days but can
always remember the exact days they had
sex.
Anyhoo, a paternity test will be your only
option unless they're diff races or
somethign.
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 6594
Location: Planet Tampaxia,
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Posted: 06-27-06 15:48pm
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Lol jess when I was a wee lass of 13 the
only thing I used to write in my diary was
the days I had sex, because back then that
was all that mattered - getting laid.
Although, i've never had sex with an ex or
accidentally forgot to use protection...
To the original poster, because you had
sex with 2 different guys so close
together, the only way to tell 100% is by
a paternity test, unless as jess suggested
they are different race or something.
Although there is a higher chance of your
ex being the sperm donor due to the fact
you didn't use a condom/birth control - it
doesn't matter that he didn't ejaculate.
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