Serious Question, Anout a Serious Situation Posted: 06-30-06 13:03pm
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Last edited by lgarza on 08-02-06 13:03pm; edited 1 time in total
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lil_blaze2004
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Posted: 06-30-06 13:05pm
Well if he wants kids someday, it should
not be too hard to sit him down and tell
him you've changed your mind.
Just a little note, playing with your
nephew and raising a baby are 2 very
different things!! But I wish you all
the best in whatever you do!!
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Emma2
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Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 4406 Location: Montreal, Canada
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Posted: 06-30-06 13:15pm
If your periods are wacky you are playing
a dangerous game! Irregular cycles means
irregular feritle days and ovulation. I
suggest you just sit him down and ask him
truthfully what he wants. And yes,
playing with a child and having one
24-7-365 days for 18+ years is totally
different.
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Ingi
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Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8783 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 06-30-06 13:31pm
I'm going to be the bug in the soup here:
playing with someone else's 8 month old
baby is not the same as having your own.
Sure, that is happy! That is fun. That
is playing. Having your own is 24
hours a day. Having your own is crappy
diapers. Having your own is never having
2 minutes to have your own peace and
quiet.
Do you know that after you have kids, you
never, ever get to shut the bathroom door
ever again? Well, not until they are
older. In the past 20+ years, I got a few
brief years where all my son did was sit
outside the door and talk to me - instead
of just barging in the door.
You lose so much that you don't think
about when you have a baby. I will
honestly say this, if he is not ready and
you are not married and in a very, very
stable relationship - I would not do it.
Not at all. Men always have the option to
leave (not that yours would, but he would
have that option) and you end up being the
one with the baby - or the 2 year old - or
the older child all on your own.
It was only less than 3 months ago that
you were not ready for a baby.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 06-30-06 13:45pm
I really agree with the others! You
really need to think about this and then
sit him down and have a heart to heart
talk with him about birth control or a
baby.
Good luck to you!
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lgarza
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Posts: 12 Location: Texas
Posted: 06-30-06 14:37pm
123
Last edited by lgarza on 08-02-06 13:08pm; edited 1 time in total
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lil_blaze2004
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Posted: 06-30-06 14:40pm
Well yuo guys are young and have some time
and like I said before if he wants then it
shouldnot be too hard to just sit him down
and tell him.
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Ingi
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Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8783 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 06-30-06 14:51pm
With my husband, we just talked. We
talked about everything and anything
anyway - nothing was off limits. For
instance, i'd ask him when the 'best time'
he thought to have a baby would be and i'd
tell him my 'best time'. When we decided
to try, it only took one try. Hrm...
What I said before was it is better to
wait until you are both really ready. I
understand you babysat and were a nanny.
Those a both difficult jobs. They aren't
the same as being a mother though. You
are giving the same kind of care, but it
isn't the same.
If I could do it all over again, I would
wait. Wait. Wait. To have kids. I'd
have made some money. Oh definitely gone
to college. I'd have travelled! (it is
hard to find sitters for a week at a time!
Let alone afford them!) and i'd have done
all the selfish things in life that I wish
i'd have been able to do. Gone shopping
just for me! Bought only food I wanted in
the fridge! Slept in on the weekends!
;)
i would have waited until I was 30, I
think. At least. Gotten all that out of
my system and then had a baby. But that's
just me. And I never got to do anything
in my adult life without kids, so i'm kind
of the opposite of a lot of people ;)
good luck talking to him about this stuff.
You don't have to get all serious about
it. Just ask him little things at first,
like what kind of baby he'd want and what
he thought being a dad will be like, etc.
Then lead into telling him when you think
it would be a good time for a baby.
(hint: do not say right now. That will
scare him!)
