I've posted several times over the last
couple of days, on topics relating to
relationships, and my belief that love
does not exist, and that 'love' is
actually 'self-interest', or a 'mutually
beneficial relationship between two people
until something better comes along'; that
humans are too self-centered to truly love
without ulterior motive. I showed
a few people up as either not knowing what
they were talking about, since they didn't
even bother to read my posts correctly, or
as essentially children incapable of
challenging a point of view without
insult. All my posts have
since been erased.
Like little school girls, they threw a
tantrum and saw to it that my posts were
taken off the board in the interests of
self-interest; particularly my opinions
about this false notion of women being
largely innocent of the
relationship-related charges that are
commonly levelled at men, such as 'why do
men cheat?'.
How laughably pathetic, how utterly
conniving, how intellectually gutless, and
how typically human. You've
proven me correct in all I have said, and
you're the reason, I have no faith in
humanity. This post will
probably be deleted too, and my posting
priviledges revoked. That is to
be expected. You are all too human
after all.
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Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 07-17-06 10:57am
Well I wouldn't take it personally, a lot
of posts got wiped out ......This happens
occasionally and on other sites too.
Yes, human beings are self centered, rude,
obnoxious and a whole host of other things
too. We spend our days being cut off in
traffic, jostled on the street, elbowed in
the store, parking spots getting stolen
under our noses, ripped off, short changed
and by the end of the day it's any wonder
we have a hard time loving our fellow
human beings.
Women are not the innocents they pretend
to be but neither are the men. Like men,
women are quite capable of lying,
cheating, talking out of both sides of
their mouths and generally being all round
a**holes. However I doubt the solution is
to give up entirely but to do your part
however small to make, at least your part
of the universe a better place to
live..........Or you can be like them.
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Emma2
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 4406 Location: Montreal, Canada
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Pathetic! Posted: 07-17-06 11:55am
uzaman
wrote:
i've posted several times
over the last couple of days, on topics
relating to relationships, and my belief
that love does not exist, and that 'love'
is actually 'self-interest', or a
'mutually beneficial relationship between
two people until something better comes
along'; that humans are too self-centered
to truly love without ulterior motive.
I showed a few people up as either
not knowing what they were talking about,
since they didn't even bother to read my
posts correctly, or as essentially
children incapable of challenging a point
of view without insult. All
my posts have since been erased.
Like little school girls, they threw a
tantrum and saw to it that my posts were
taken off the board in the interests of
self-interest; particularly my opinions
about this false notion of women being
largely innocent of the
relationship-related charges that are
commonly levelled at men, such as 'why do
men cheat?'.
How laughably pathetic, how utterly
conniving, how intellectually gutless, and
how typically human. You've
proven me correct in all I have said, and
you're the reason, I have no faith in
humanity. This post will
probably be deleted too, and my posting
priviledges revoked. That is to
be expected. You are all too
human after
all.
youre such an angry little person it makes
me sick how much negativity you exude.
Its really a shame and a massive turn
off.F.Y.I. Are you not a human being too?
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Uzaman Posted: 07-17-06 13:30pm
Love is there! There is so many different
types such as a love between a .Mother and
her child and a .Father and his child and
then there is the .Grandparents love and
then you have your aunts and uncles and
their love between themselves and the love
between th significant others or the b/f
g/f and a husband and a wife, even though
the respect is not always there forever
and you also have the love for the flowers
and the trees and the mountains and the
animals. There is too much out there,
you should never stop loving and if you
have been hurt, it is kind of like
falling, after a while, you pick yourself
up, dust yourself off and move on.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Re: Uzaman Posted: 07-17-06 13:57pm
sandyallen
wrote:
love is there! There is so
many different types such as a love
between a .Mother and her child and a
.Father and his child and then there is
the .Grandparents love and then you have
your aunts and uncles
.
oh no,don't go there hun!
They will tell you that you didn;t read
their post properly.They are talking about
love between bf gf,dh & wife. . .If
I am so self intersested why do I do
things for my boyfriend to be happy?Why
would we cry when they die?Why would we
cry when they do something that hurts
you(if you were only in it for
yourself)?There is so many things I can
think of to ask but they are too ignornat
to answer.Just a non believer who is being
rediculous about love and life
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DoctorAnswer
Doctor Answer
Joined: 19 Dec 2005 Posts: 16777211
Thanks: 16
Thanked:0
Dealing With Divorce & Ending a Relationship Answer A1218 Posted: 07-18-06 03:01am
It is too early to talk about pregnancy.
The earliest you can find out if you are
pregnant or not is 10 days after ovulation
and a possible conception. You can take a
home pregnancy test if you miss your
period. Otherwise, it seems that you were
just hungry when you had those cravings.
DISCLAIMER: "Ask a Doctor" Questions are answered by Dr. Nikola Gjuzelov, General Practitioner. Dr. Gjuzelov practices medicine for the general public and is affiliated with the Republic of Macedonia Public Health Institution. For more information about Dr. Gjuzelov or other eHealthForum.com medical experts, please visit our About Us page. You may also visit our Ending a Relationship Forum, for moderated patient to patient support and information.
The material presented in the eHealth Forum Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or attention by a qualified licensed medical professional. eHealth Forum and eHealth Forum's Ask A Doctor advises all users with health problems and concerns to consult their personal doctors. Furthermore, if you have any questions or concerns about your condition, you must consult your qualified licenseced medical professional before starting any treatment.
The materials in the eHealth Forum Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor cannot and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. To the fullest extent possible, eHealth Forum and eHealth Forum's Ask A Doctor expressly excludes all liability in respect of the information and opinions contained in the Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor, this Web site, or any sites linked to this Web site.
|
Uzaman
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2006 Posts: 147
Posted: 07-19-06 06:46am
Quote:
youre such an
angry little person it makes me sick how
much negativity you exude.
Its really a shame and a massive turn
off.F.Y.I. Are you not a
human being
too?
i think the word you're looking for is
'assertive' and 'honest', as opposed to
'little' and 'angry'. You
sure you didn't reply in this manner
because I pointed out that you couldn't
even read my post correctly?
In which case, it may be you who is
angry. Funny how many women
frequently use that term (little) when
attempting, quite poorly I might add, to
lambaste a man isn't it?
But I digress. I'm just
honest about the world in which I live.
There's no point in pretending it's a
beautiful sunny day when it's actually
freezing cold and pouring down with rain.
If you go out there without
a coat, be prepared to get soaked and
perhaps catch a cold.
There's no point in romanticizing love
when you know differently.
If you go out there with starry-eyed
notions, then be prepared for
disappointment, and to perhaps have your
heart run over by a truck.
Or you could just stick your head in the
sand and keep on pretending I suppose.
If that works for you, then
more power to you. I
realise and accept peoples' motives for
entering a relationship that's all.
I understand what they mean when
they say 'i love you'.
Because of this, I don't expect the kind
of undivided devotion 'because it was
written in the stars' love most people
seem to be looking for in their
relationships, so I can't be hurt, fooled,
walked over, or disappointed.
I just calmly disengage from those
people, and move on without becoming an
emotional wreck in the process.
I'm not angry at all, not about that.
I do believe however in the
right of the individual to his/her point
of view, without having their remarks
removed from public view.
When it does happen, yes, that
angers me off.
Melissa_12.
The reason you do things for your
boyfriend is because you derive some
measure of personal satisfaction from
having done it, which by extension,
panders to your self-interest.
However just the other day you were
talking in another thread about not being
sure about your boyfriend, and wanting to
investigate the possiblities of a dating
agency of some kind. You
contemplate the idea of leaving your
boyfriend to explore new horizons while
claiming to love him and to want to do
nice things for him? Has he
beaten you? Does he
emotionally abuse you? No,
the reason you gave was that you were not
sure about him. What, does
he talk to himself im his sleep?
Does he wear his socks to bed?
Pick his nose? Pfft, you do
not love him, you love yourself.
If you loved him, you would be sure,
and the thought of dating anyone else
would be anathema to you.
As for parental love or hatred; that is
also self-interest. Take
for instance, parents who disown their
children because their children are gay.
Where is the parents love
there? They will actually
proclaim their wish never to see their own
flesh and blood again, simply because of
their child's sexual preferences?
That parent's religio-cultural influences
have shaped their moral choices, ethical
values, and perspectives on the world.
These influences have moulded
that parent's character, personality, how
they approach life, and the expectations
they have of themselves and others;
especially their children, who are looked
on as the newest link in a chain of
cultural/moral continuity.
This becomes the very essence of that
parents object of self-interest; a wish to
see that continuity remained unbroken.
So in the interests of
'self-interest', they turn their back on
their own flesh and blood, rather than
face the fact that their child has indeed
broken the chain, and chosen another
path.
Outwardly, this takes on the appearance of
hatred, but it is merely self-interest.
Similarly, you cry if your
'loved ones' die for the same reason;
whether you're speaking about biological
relations, or your partner.
You have lost something you desired in
your life at that point in time.
The operative word here is 'you'.
Again, when speaking of
yourself (or as you would say, 'i'), that
is the very essence of self-interest.
Family greatly influences a
child's attitudes, values and learning,
their development, and who they will
become; their ability to make sense of the
world, and to make their way in it.
you have become reliant on
them to guide you, or at least support
you. It is
therefore in your interest that they
remain in your life.
Therefore you experience sorrow when they
are gone. This time
'self-interest' takes on the outward
appearance of grief.
Self-interest also involves the pursuit of
pleasure. Your partner
makes you happy, makes you feel good; he
or she enriches your life in some way, and is
(for various reasons) what you want for
yourself in your
life. Therefore when their
partners are gone, humans experience the
same resulting emotions, because they have
suffered loss; but its antecedent driving
factor is once again 'self-interest'.
In short, humans grieve for themselves,
not their lost mates, or familial loved
ones. Okay melissa_12, see if you can
answer without attempting to assail me
with one syllable insults.
DISCLAIMER: "Ask a Doctor" Questions are answered by Dr. Nikola Gjuzelov, General Practitioner. Dr. Gjuzelov practices medicine for the general public and is affiliated with the Republic of Macedonia Public Health Institution. For more information about Dr. Gjuzelov or other eHealthForum.com medical experts, please visit our About Us page. You may also visit our Ending a Relationship Forum, for moderated patient to patient support and information.
The material presented in the eHealth Forum Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or attention by a qualified licensed medical professional. eHealth Forum and eHealth Forum's Ask A Doctor advises all users with health problems and concerns to consult their personal doctors. Furthermore, if you have any questions or concerns about your condition, you must consult your qualified licenseced medical professional before starting any treatment.
The materials in the eHealth Forum Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor cannot and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. To the fullest extent possible, eHealth Forum and eHealth Forum's Ask A Doctor expressly excludes all liability in respect of the information and opinions contained in the Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor, this Web site, or any sites linked to this Web site.
|
Uzaman
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2006 Posts: 147
Posted: 07-19-06 09:39am
Sandyallen,
no, i've never been hurt because i've
never left myself open to it.
As I said, i'm always ready to move on the
moment the time comes.
I've been depressed, but no one made me
depressed directly.
I was depressed because I realised that
love (as we like to idealize it between
humans) doesn't exist. I do
love nature. I love the
mountains, the sea and the sky.
Nature make me feel good. So
once again, it isn't really 'love', just
my inclination for things that bring me
pleasure. In other words my
love for nature is not devoid of ulterior
motive. My love for nature is
based on (yes you guessed it)
self-interest.
There's no escaping it i'm afraid :(
so what's wrong with ulterior motive or
looking out for yourself? Nothing
but when you realise that self-interest is
the basis for all human interaction, then
you have to consider that while 'love
could never hurt you', 'ulterior motive'
most certainly can and most likely will.
But who knows what it will do in
the context of a given situation?
Therein lies the risk, and it's a risk i'm
not prepared to take, because i'm not
scared of the future.
I mean, 'ulterior motive' can be good and
bad. Sometimes 'ulterior motive'
may drive someone to give their own life
to save the life of their partner.
They want their partner to live so badly
that their level of self-interest pushes
them to heroic acts. Sometimes, it
may drive someone to kill their own
mother. Same motive, different
actions and results. I said it
before, if someone came up with a pill
that extended life indefinitely, romantic
relationships would become practically a
thing of the past, as people would no
longer fear growing old and alone.
The risk and hassle of putting your heart
on the line, only to have it smashed to a
pulp would be seen as not worth it, and
people would instead go out and have a
good time with their 'friends'.
They would flirt, have sex, and maybe even
hang with a particular person for a time
because that particular person was
interesting, funny, or beautiful to look
at etc; but they wouldn't commit to that
person, and hope that this one wouldn't
piledrive them into another emotional
nightmare, or worse.
I mean, melissa also mentioned something
about her boyfriend's outburst in another
thread. Her boyfriend shouted out
because another guy asked her if she was
okay when he saw her crying. That is
jealousy, and one of the better examples
of 'self-interest' disguised as 'love'.
Look at how people behave when they
become jealous. Look at how far
people will go, how aggressively they
behave, and how much emotional turmoil
they will cause for their partner, because
of their jealousy. Do you think they
behave like that out of love for
their partner, or concern for anyone but
themselves?
They do it out of 'self-interest', in
much the same way one kicks up a stink if
they believe someone is trying to steal
their car, or their money. This is
my
car (or money), and how dare you try to
take it away from me.
Love, on the other hand, would set the
other free. Humans look out for
themselves. Everything else springs
from that one fundamental principle of
human nature.
DISCLAIMER: "Ask a Doctor" Questions are answered by Dr. Nikola Gjuzelov, General Practitioner. Dr. Gjuzelov practices medicine for the general public and is affiliated with the Republic of Macedonia Public Health Institution. For more information about Dr. Gjuzelov or other eHealthForum.com medical experts, please visit our About Us page. You may also visit our Ending a Relationship Forum, for moderated patient to patient support and information.
The material presented in the eHealth Forum Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or attention by a qualified licensed medical professional. eHealth Forum and eHealth Forum's Ask A Doctor advises all users with health problems and concerns to consult their personal doctors. Furthermore, if you have any questions or concerns about your condition, you must consult your qualified licenseced medical professional before starting any treatment.
The materials in the eHealth Forum Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor cannot and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. To the fullest extent possible, eHealth Forum and eHealth Forum's Ask A Doctor expressly excludes all liability in respect of the information and opinions contained in the Discussion Forums and Ask A Doctor, this Web site, or any sites linked to this Web site.
