Joined: 15 Jul 2006 Posts: 23 Location: Oregon USA
Question About Grieving Posted: 07-18-06 12:31pm
Did anyone else feel absolutely
emotionless when they were told they'd
miscarried? I was just told this morning
and don't really feel sad so much as..
Numb.
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mama5603
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2006 Posts: 135
Posted: 07-18-06 12:36pm
I was terrified I cryied for a long
time... I had my mc in march of this year
and some times still cry....
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diamond splinter
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Apr 2006 Posts: 611 Location: ,
Posted: 07-20-06 06:03am
I felt numb I was in denial for a long
time I even convinced myself right up
until my due date that although I had
given birth I could still feel my baby
moving around inside me I got that bad
that the doctor sent me for a scan to
prove to me that I was no longer pregnant
greiving affects people differently and
although it will never fully go away it
does get easier the main thing I can tell
you is when the greif does hit don't hold
it back if you want to cry then cry if you
want to scream and shout do it but most of
all talk about your baby and how you feel
you will probably find that freinds and
family are reluctant to talk to you about
your baby this isn't because they don't
care it is because they don't know what to
say to you so it will be up to you to let
them know you are ready to talk about your
baby.
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JRogato
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jul 2006 Posts: 23 Location: Oregon USA
Posted: 07-20-06 13:04pm
Diamond_splinter, that pretty much sums up
my problem I think. I am so much in
denial. I keep talking to my baby and
asking it to be okay. Logically, I know
it isn't there, it's dead but..
Yesterday, I had a good cry. I'm so
tired. I don't want to think about what's
coming up next. I don't want a d&c.
I know it's not rational, but it would
feel to me like I was killing my baby.
My doctor didn't mention misoprositol or
any other non-surgical procedure to me.
He only discussed d&c. I'm kind of
angry about that. He and his one
colleague are the only 2 doctors in my
town to do d&c's and I can't help but
think that he just wants to profit from my
pain (i'm sure that's irrational too
but..).
My friends have been extremely supportive
so far. They haven't avoided me and
they've asked a lot of questions. I was
kind of scared to tell one of my friends
because her and I have been semi-estranged
for a while and I wasn't sure how she'd
react. She has actually been the biggest
help (besides my dh) and amazingly
supportive.
I feel like I need to tell everyone that
knew I was pregnant that the baby has
died. And I keep wanting to apologize for
telling them such horrible news. I know I
would rather be told than find out from a
friend by asking how the baby/pregnancy is
going so i'm trying to do for them what I
would want in their situation. It's
actually me just trying to avoid thinking
about my biggest worry, which is how the
baby is going to come out.
Thank you, diamond and mama, for your
support during this trying time and i'm
sorry for your loss.
I think this is one of those times when
women really just wish they could be a
man. No one should go through this.
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diamond splinter
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Apr 2006 Posts: 611 Location: ,
Posted: 07-20-06 17:19pm
Hun your baby will come out and it will
be hard either way I can understand your
being worried and the way you feel about a
d&c but beleive me you can not keep
hold of your little one and if a d&c
is the only way to go then it is something
you must do it is not you letting your
baby down in any way it is you letting
your baby go and starting your greiving
period so you can one day look back at the
short time you have had your baby and
smile againas for talking to your baby
that is wonderful I still talk to both my
angels and one of them is coming up to 14
the other is coming up 10 just because
your baby is no longer physicaly with you
it doesn't mean that they are not in your
heart and you cannot speak to them.
I am glad to hear that your freinds are
supporting you through this hun good luck
and let us know how you get on.
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