Make Yourself a Cup of Tea First! Posted: 07-20-06 17:02pm
Hi all,
i am completely new to this forum & to
be honest am desperately looking for an
ear. Unfortunately most of my mates are
shared friends & it makes it really
hard to discuss things with them.
I've been going out with my girlfriend for
nearly 5 years. We're not married but
have bought a house together & have a
puppy.
For the last 2 yrs our relationship has
been on a gradual decline; neither of us
our at fault (i don't think) but I am now
beginning to think we are just not meant
for each other... Things have changed so
much that we hardly even shag anymore.
The flipside of all of this is that around
6months ago, my girlfriend was upset by an
argument & raised splitting up... It
was me who made out that we could make it
work.
Now for the complications...
I have never cheated nor has she (i don't
think)... Last weekend, however, I was
out with friends and met a girl...
Nothing happened but I was totally blown
away by her... I left the bar having done
nothing more than establish that she would
would be around next week and would like
to see me again (tomorrow night -
friday).
As I look back, it probably isn't the
first time something like this has
happened... One side of me would say see
the person again, the other questions
whether things are actually that bad at
home.
I'm not for a minute saying I am
perfect... I can be anal about things and
am obsessed about anything active...
Always want to be out running or down the
gym...
The crulest side of everthing is that I
feel she does not make an effort for me
anymore... May be I am chauvenistic &
want a pretty fit girlfriend.. I don't
know????... But I make an effort myself
& kind of expect something in
return.
Tomorrow night is nearly upon me & I
think I will go and meet this girl
again... To me that means I have
effectively cheated already...
Oh yes and how could I forget me little
ole puppy... I was probably a significant
driving force behind getting one...
Always me who nagged about one... To be
honest, my girlfriend used to be 100%
against the idea... Little niggle in the
back of my mind says it we got him in a
vain hope it might bring us closer
together???? (crap I am messed up...)
are things meant to feel as rubbish as
this? Or am I just confused and things
are not that bad?
Sorry for the huge ramble!
G
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linus56
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jun 2006 Posts: 7 Location: Midwest
Try a Few Things... Posted: 07-21-06 09:07am
With five years invested and a good
relationship to start, it sounds like it
would be worth a talk, maybe a little
counseling in the hope that you can figure
out if there are just a couple of
unresolved issues causing you to feel this
way, or whether there's really not enough
substance in your relationship to keep it
going.
People do change, move apart, and
sometimes the distance is just too great.
I would strongly suggest that you don't
do what I did, which is to coast along for
15 years thinking that it would somehow
get better, or maybe it wasn't that bad.
Woke up on the other side of 15 years
wondering what made me so stupid. If you
realize that you have a problem address it
now. If you can fix it, great!! If you
can't, run and don't look back. You can
work out the house and the puppy, but you
can't get your life back if you waste it.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 07-21-06 14:46pm
I agree with linus.If you think you may be
happier with someone else for a good
reason,there is no reason for you to stay
in a relationship that you think might
work.Sometimes people just grow apart
