Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 1 Location: Los Angeles
Sex Life Has Become Disastrous Posted: 07-25-06 09:39am
Let me quickly fill you in. I have been
with my gf for a little over a year now.
We began our relationship on an akward and
negative note. She was with my absolute
best friend for 3 and a half weeks in a
highly charged sexual relationship. Our
relationship started the week after he
left town. Initially our sex life was
very sexual and non emotional because I
was unwilling to be intimate with her due
to the past with my friend. After a month
or so when I realized this was becoming an
extremely serious relationship our sex got
better and deeper. In the first 2 - 4
months we would have sex daily, sometimes
twice a day, and she would orgasm 40
percent of the time. I asked her multiple
times if she was ever faking and tried to
make her feel comfortable to the fact she
didn't have to fake with me. After 5
times of asking over 4 months and her
response always being no, she answered
differently with a "a few times in the
first two weeks of us being together". I
was devastated and hurt and said something
like "your credibility has been shattered
and I will never care if you cum again" in
a moment of hurt. Since then our sex life
has gone down hill. Due to constantly
bringing up her past with my best friend,
and after that comment it took a few
months to bring our sex life to a bad
area. It has now been about 7 months and
she has cum not once! She has multiple
reasons about it. According to her she is
"not interested in cumming, its not that
great, I don't do it as hard as I used
to". She constantly tells me it doesn't
mean anything that she doesn't cum and she
still loves it. I used to love to watch
her cum with me inside of her and now she
hasn't in 7 months. Over the past 3
months she has not been interested in sex
at all. Especially in the last week,
whenever I make a move, she becomes hurt
and feels that I only care about sex.
This cycle is destroying our relationship.
She feels uncared for and I feel
unattractive. The good ol' days of us
flirting when we were out leading to us
going home and having sex for an hour with
her cumming and both lying in eachothers
arms sweating has turned into. "can we
make love?.... "no I dont want to" and
she starts crying if I persist. When we
do do it. It is not sexy or interesting.
She complains of pains..... She loses
interest.... She doesn't wanna do it more
then 10 minutes. And forget about
cumming. I feel horrible about this and
would appreciate any response you guys can
come up with :). Thanks alot
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 08-01-06 12:54pm
Wowo it sounds like you really hurt her.I
mean I know she faked it a couple times
but it was only a couple,not every single
time.I think you took it way too seriously
for that small amount of 'faking'. It
seems like you haev just hurt her by
saying that mad made her feel like she was
not worth anything.That would make me fell
uncomfortable having sex too.Maybe since
then you try to keep having sex as much or
more soo that you can make her cum,but
instead its making it worss.I suggest you
stop trying for a while and try and get
back on the level you were before. Show
her your interested in more than sex!
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Anbrowing
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Aug 2006 Posts: 17 Location: Puerto Rico
Incredible Posted: 08-01-06 19:30pm
I'm a woman and I can tell you that when
something really hurst,some of us just
shut down. Though, I understand how you
felt because I had a similar situation.
My husband and i, used to have phone sex.
But I stoped having phone sex when he once
told me he faked it.(he was suposed to be
masturbating and letting me know when he
came) that was it for me, and even though
he sayed he did it because he wanted to
give me pleasure,because women take
longer. I felt incredebly stupid and that
was a real down for me to the point that
we've never done it again. I just don't
find it pleasurable or exiting anymore. I
guess that you realy hurted her and made
her feel really really unappreciated.This
needs some treatment and defenetly show
her your intrested in more than sex,be
romantic untill the day you have a
romantic intimate encounter and maybe,if
you get lucky it would work. Men have to
watch what they say...Sometimes saying
thingd out of anger hurts really bad. It
has happened to me many times.
Good luck
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Re: Incredible Posted: 08-02-06 08:58am
anbrowing
wrote:
i'm a woman and I can tell
you that when something really hurst,some
of us just shut down. Though, I
understand how you felt because I had a
similar situation. My husband and i,
used to have phone sex. But I stoped
having phone sex when he once told me he
faked it.(he was suposed to be
masturbating and letting me know when he
came) that was it for me, and even though
he sayed he did it because he wanted to
give me pleasure,because women take
longer. I felt incredebly stupid and
that was a real down for me to the point
that we've never done it again. I just
don't find it pleasurable or exiting
anymore. I guess that you realy hurted
her and made her feel really really
unappreciated.This needs some treatment
and defenetly show her your intrested in
more than sex,be romantic untill the day
you have a romantic intimate encounter and
maybe,if you get lucky it would work.
Men have to watch what they
say...Sometimes saying thingd out of anger
hurts really bad. It has happened to me
many times.
Good luck
I agree 110%!!!!!
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awkwarddepressed
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2006 Posts: 70
Disastrous Posted: 08-23-06 11:09am
Perhaps someone should create an
english-woman dictionary so that men can
speak in a manner that doesnt make women
flip out. They are the champions of
misunderstanding and they never forget a
god damn thing we say.
