Why Abort Instead of Adoption? Posted: 07-31-06 21:24pm
I am new to the forum but I just have one
question. Why would anyone choose to
abort rather than give the baby up for
adoption? Isn't it more difficult to kill
the child rather than give it up? For the
life of me I can not understand this. I
visited yahoo.Com and typed in adoption,
and there are over 187 loving couples
wishing to adopt. Why do we then have
people aborting left and right? Adoption
could be the most positive answer for both
parties, the baby gets to live and the new
family gets to have a child they might not
otherwise been able to have.
Just a thought.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Please Read the Rules Section! Posted: 07-31-06 21:35pm
Are you pro-life, pro-choice, or unsure?
There are rules on these two specific
forums, that if you are pro-choice, you
are not allowed to post on the pro-life
forum, and if you are pro-life, you are
not allowed to post here. If you are
unsure, you are welcome to both forum; but
remember, any pro-life views on here like
your post are likely to be met with anger
that you would wish to take away the
woman's control over her body.
Everyone else, please hold of posts of
anger or abuse (calm posts are always
acceptable) until she has a chance to
respond.
I will leave this topic up until we know;
if it turns into a debate i'm deleting it.
This is not the palce to argue about
abortion.
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sterlingbliss
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jul 2006 Posts: 2
An Adopted Viewpoint Posted: 07-31-06 22:30pm
I believe that I have an insider's, or at
least inspired, view-point on the
abortion/ adoption issue as I am adopted
and have had 24 years to marinade in it.
Oddly enough I never really took much
interest in the debate, often times just
sitting back and acting the content
spectator.
I don't think that the debate is
whether or not adoption works, or even
whether or not a child deserves the right
to live. I don't believe that anyone
pro-choice is void enough of morality to
think life a privalige and not a right. I
see the pro-choice issue becomming bogged
down in a morality war that it can never
win as the "choice" they speak of is based
soley in civics, personal freedoms, and
the "choices" which we are ensured by the
constitution. In all fairness, the
argument for a women's right to choose is
quite sound in my opinion.
If the argument for life is that women
should not be given a choice that so
directly effects the life of another, then
it is inherently flawed as everyone makes
such choices countless times during a
life-time. If a young woman is forced to
keep a child she cannot support
emotionally as she is not yet an adult,
would we not then be pressed to take that
child away from her? I shutter to think
of all the civil liberties that a series
of pro-life regulations would have to
violate in order to cover all the bases.
I am not pro-choice and honestly am not
exactly sure why. I know it has a lot to
do with the fact that adoption worked for
me. I feel as though I really hit the
lottery with my family. I probably feel
an appreciation for them farther than if I
was not adopted, because I know I could
have ended up in a much worse situation.
I would not trade being adopted for the
world, yet i'm not so sure my birth-mother
would say the same. Therefore I cannot
call myself pro-life either as from what
little I know of her current emotional
state, I see that she would have had a
much easier time and honestly been better
off had I been aborted.
I think that the more frequently, no
matter how much it hurts to do, people
from both sides of the issue place
themselves in unfamiliar shoes the closer
those two sides will come to each other.
Given the opportunity to better themselves
through education on either side of the
fence, the truly wise will jump at the
opportunity. Those who are unwilling to
do so, regardless if they are pro-choice
or pro-life, are the real problem at the
root of this issue.
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 07-31-06 23:11pm
sunflowerseed
wrote:
i am new to the forum but I
just have one question. Why would anyone
choose to abort rather than give the baby
up for
adoption?
I can't speak for
anyone else but I can tell you my reasons
for choosing an abortion instead of
adoption.
#1: in order to give your child away to
strangers, you must first be willing and
able to continue the
pregnancy to term. Many women, including
myself, are unwilling or unable to
continute a pregnancy to term. My
pregnancy was ectopic which put my life in
jeopardy. My choices were die or have
the pregnancy removed.
#2: the adoption system, in my limited
experiences, seems like a warped ebay
system where white, healthy pregnant women
are given money, clothing, and gifts (as
long as the baby will also be white and
healthy - bonus points/items/cash for
blonde hair or blue eyes) for their
infants while the state grudgingly takes
the infants who do not fit into that
category. The waiting line for someone
to adopt a healthy, white infant is over
seven years long (on average) while other
children languish in the foster and public
adoption system. Couples are .N.O.Tdying to adopt "any" baby,
they are dying to adopt the "perfect" baby
and if you're pretty sure you won't be
having one of them, your child will have
less of a chance of being adopted and
properly cared for. I could not live
with myself knowing that my own child was
being neglected because it did not fit
someone elses perception of "perfection."
when couples "dying to adopt" start
adopting the hundreds of thousands of
children waiting for good homes, then i'll
reconsider my position.
#3: I would worry, constantly, about the
child that I gave away. Are they still
alive? Are they being well cared for?
Etc. And while an "open" adoption is
supposed to fix that problem, many women
who have given children away report that
their so-called "open" adoption quickly
closed when the other couple assumed
possession of the child. Which also
means that you never really know the
people you're giving your own flesh and
blood to.
#4: in order to give a child away (in
most states) both parents must sign away
their rights to the child. If your
partner decides that he doesn't want you
to give away the child (even if he,
himself, cannot offer the care that the
child needs) and refuses to sign his
rights away, the adoption falls through
and you are then stuck with the child that
you couldn't take care of in the first
place. Until the laws are changed to
fully protect the birth mother in this
situation, I cannot support the current
adoption system.
#5: many adoption agencies and adoptive
parents lie to the birth mother because
they are afraid that she will change her
mind at or shortly after the birth (which
she has every right to do). They
threaten to sue her (which they can't) or
they arrange to take possession of the
child before they are legally able to do
so.
#6: many women who choose an abortion do
so because it gives them closure to the
crises situation of an unintended
pregnancy. An adoption, however, does
not bring closure, only a lifetime of
doubt, wonder, and worry.
#7: I would not choose adoption because I
could not. I could not give a child away
to strangers or to other family members.
I don't know the strangers and I know the
family members too well. If I am
pregnant and cannot afford to keep the
pregnancy or the resulting child, then I
would choose an abortion.
Quote:
isn't it more
difficult to kill the child rather than
give it up?
obviously not or far
fewer women would be seeking abortions.
Of the millions of women who choose an
abortion every year, 86% of them felt
relief when it was over. For women, the
stressful event is not the abortion but
the fact that they were pregnant when they
didn't want to be. The unintended
pregnancy is what caused them stress and
the abortion was their way of coping with
the stressful event in a way that they
could live with.
Women who choose adoption, however, not
only live with the stress of an unwanted
pregnancy but then also have to live with
the stress and emotional trauma of giving
a child away and possibly never seeing
them again. On top of that, because they
did go through pregnancy and child birth,
up to 40% of them will also deal with post
partum depression.
Of the few women I know who have chosen
adoption, all of them regret it. Of the
many women I know who have chosen
abortion, none of them regret the abortion
- they regret that they ever got pregnant
in the first place.
Quote:
for the life of
me I can not understand this. I visited
yahoo.Com and typed in adoption, and there
are over 187 loving couples wishing to
adopt.
there are literally
hudreds of
thousands of children needing good homes
.R.I.G.H.T .N.O.W. If these 187
"loving couples wish to adopt", they can
start their family immediately by adopting
one of the hundreds of thousands of
children who are already up for adoption.
Do you know why these children aren't
being adopted? It's because they've
committed a terrible "sin." their "sin"
is that they are either not white or
healthy .O.R are no longer a baby. If a
person is dying to adopt, there are
.A.L.R.E.A.D.Yplenty
of children waiting.
Quote:
why do we then
have people aborting left and
right?
because they don't want
to be pregnant.
Quote:
adoption could
be the most positive answer for both
parties,
first, give your own
child away for adoption and then come back
and tell us if the experience was positive
or not.
Quote:
the baby gets to
live and the new family gets to have a
child they might not otherwise been able
to have.
the "new family"
doesn't have to wait for my pregnancy to
end or your pregnancy to end to "have a
child they might not otherwise been able
to have." they can adopt one of the hundreds
of thousands of children currently waiting
for adoption.
Quote:
just a
thought.
experience more of life,
specifically more of this issue, and then
share with us your "thoughts."
do you honestly think we haven't heard
this before? We've heard the message,
thanks. For some of us, though, your
naive,
"and-they-all-lived-happily-ever-after"
rarely happens.
|
sunflowerseed
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2006 Posts: 2
Your Points Posted: 07-31-06 23:59pm
Jenn smithson-
thank you for your reply, you do make some
thought provoking points, however I
question a few of your remarks. I
understand in your situation abortion was
necessary because of the etopic pregnancy,
however I would say 98% of women seeking
abortions are not in any unusual danger.
While I undersand the adoption process is
not perfect by any means as you state, if
nothing else why couldn't the as you put
it "as long as the baby will also be white
and healthy" ones be adopted since they
are more wanted in your opinion? I would
think if the infant was white and healthy
it would be adopted quickly based on what
you have said. I am guessing that would
possibly be about 1/3 of the babies
terminated.
Jenn smithson said: "i would worry,
constantly, about the child that I gave
away. Are they still alive? Are they
being well cared for?"
wouldn't you worry about the child you
aborted, wondering what they would look
like, what kind of things they may have
done with their life? I do mean in a
normal abortion situation, of course in
yours it could be different since you had
to choose abortion, you may not have as
many second thoughts as a regular person,
since you really didn't have a "choice".
Jenn smithson said: "many women who choose
an abortion do so because it gives them
closure to the crises situation of an
unintended pregnancy. An adoption,
however, does not bring closure, only a
lifetime of doubt, wonder, and worry."
from all I have heard from friends who
have had abortions, it also brings a
lifetime of doubt, wonder, and worry of
"what ifs" & regret. Not one person I
have spoke to about abortion said the
didn't regret it afterward. Maybe it was
the best choice at the time they thought,
but down the road looking back they say
they wish they would have kept the baby
and did have second thoughts regularly.
Jenn smithson said: I would not choose
adoption because I could not. I could not
give a child away to strangers or to other
family members. I don't know the
strangers and I know the family members
too well. If I am pregnant and cannot
afford to keep the pregnancy or the
resulting child, then I would choose an
abortion.
If you could not give the child away, how
could you terminate it? The viewpoint you
share sounds very selfish, like if I can't
have it all perfect & my way, then I
don't want it. It's kind of like the same
viewpoint the adoptive parents you speak
of have, "if it isn't white and perfect,
then I don't want it attitude". What
makes you any different than them, you
have your preferences too.
Jenn smithson wrote: for some of us,
though, your naive,
"and-they-all-lived-happily-ever-after"
rarely happens
maybe if more people had a positive
attitude about life, it could happen more
often!
|
jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 08-01-06 01:23am
sunflowerseed
wrote:
while I undersand the
adoption process is not perfect by any
means as you state, if nothing else why
couldn't the as you put it "as long as the
baby will also be white and healthy" ones
be adopted since they are more wanted in
your opinion?
first, this is not
simply my opinion, I wish it were that
simple. The actual numbers and
statistics of adoptions in the us paint a
very real picture of who is adopting and
the children that they are choosing to
adopt. You can adopt a child as young as
3 within a very few months but people are
instead waiting on lists for up to seven
years for a healthy, white infant.
Secondly, for there to be any adoption at
all, the pregnant woman must choose to
sacrifice her body and remain pregnant.
Not every woman is willing or able to do
this. So, even white women having
presumably white children must go through
pregnancy for the adoption to even be
considered. If the pregnant woman
chooses adoption by and for her unique
situation, then I support her decision,
wish her all the best, and hope that she
gets a very good therapy referral. I
would only hope that she is given honest
information about adoption before any
other choice evaporates with time.
If prospective adoptive parents wish to
offer more money so that the pregnant
woman will not obtain an abortion, that is
their perogative. However, no amount of
money can overide any woman's right to end
her pregnancy.
Quote:
jenn smithson
said: "i would worry, constantly, about
the child that I gave away. Are they
still alive? Are they being well cared
for?"
wouldn't you worry about the child you
aborted, wondering what they would look
like, what kind of things they may have
done with their
life?
not really. If I had
had a "normal" pregnancy, I still
would have chosen an abortion. At that
time and stage of my life, I could barely
support myself let alone a child.
Wondering if I would have had enough to
feed my child is better than regretting
ever having children in the first place.
Also, bringing a child into poverty is not
a good indication that they will have a
decent life and it was not a life I wanted
to give a child of mine. For me, quality
of life is far more important than the
number of lives I bring to the planet.
If you actually speak to women who choose
to obtain an abortion, as I said before,
most are relieved. The wondering is not
present because an abortion brings with it
closure.
Quote:
from all I have
heard from friends who have had abortions,
it also brings a lifetime of doubt,
wonder, and worry of "what ifs" &
regret.
I am sorry for your
friends but they are in the minority in
this regard. The vast majority of women
who choose an abortion for themselves and
by themselves do not regret their
decision. For them, it is a successful
coping of a stressful unplanned pregnancy.
The american psychological association
has produced some very good studies on
this issue. Their website is www.Apa.Org.
Perhaps your friends are also giving you
the version you wish to hear so that they
will not be judged and condemned by a
friend. If they know where you stand on
the issue, they are far more likely to
give you a version of events that they
know you will be sympathetic to than a
verson of events you will be hostile to.
Quote:
not one person
I have spoke to about abortion said the
didn't regret it afterward. Maybe it was
the best choice at the time they thought,
but down the road looking back they say
they wish they would have kept the baby
and did have second thoughts
regularly.
again, I am sorry that
your friends claim to feel this way but
they do not represent the majority.
Further, simply because you claim that
your friends regretted their choice does
not indicate that all women will or
should. I do not regret my choice, I
never have.
Quote:
if you could not
give the child away, how could you
terminate it?
first, because I do not
believe there is a life until birth. As
I stated earlier, I greatly believe in the
quality of one's life. The quality of
one's life does not begin until one can
experience things by themselves. That
cannot happen without a birth. Therefore
I have no qualms about an abortion ending
the possibility of a life being born.
Further, no woman is a walking incubator
for infertile couples unless she chooses
to be. I would not choose that.
And last, as stated above, I would not
bring a child into poverty. My financial
position has changed a little since the
last time I was pregnant but not enough to
support a child and give it all that it
deserves. For me, it is far more
responsible to choose an abortion instead
of bringing a child into the world that
society will have to help me care for and
raise. And, since society does so very
little to help women and their children in
poverty, I would not willingly choose to
give birth in that situation just to watch
my children starve or have a horrible
life. Not when I can prevent it.
Quote:
the viewpoint
you share sounds very selfish, like if I
can't have it all perfect & my way,
then I don't want
it.
selfish, like beauty,
is in the eye of the beholder. I think
it's selfish when people have children
just to see what they would look like, to
carry on the family name, to have a
son/daughter because they already have a
daughter/son, to try and patch up or fix a
broken relationship, to have another
person who will supposedly "love me no
matter what", to placate one's parents who
want to see a grandchild before they die,
to prove your love, and to harvest their
cord blood to save their sibling or other
family member.
There isn't a child bearing decision
that's made without being selfish. How
about the billions of dollars spent on
fertility treatments just to have your own
genetic offspring? What isn't selfish
about that?
In this case, since pregnancy and child
bearing are personal decisions which
affect the entire course and scope of
one's life, I believe it is the perfect
time to be selfish. In my personal
situation, I believe that it is far more
responsible of me to not have children
when I cannot afford to take proper care
of them. And, if I am never in the
position to take proper care of a child,
then I won't have a child. The decision
to have children, just like the decision
not to have children, is entirely selfish
on many levels and always has been.
Quote:
it's kind of
like the same viewpoint the adoptive
parents you speak of have, "if it isn't
white and perfect, then I don't want it
attitude".
mine was more "if I
can't even feed myself, then I
can't/shouldn't have a baby." and, my
children, if I ever have any, won't be
white to begin with so that plays no part
in the decision what so ever. I'm sad to
say that it does impact the decision of
couples looking to adopt.
Quote:
what makes you
any different than them, you have your
preferences
too.
yes, and since it's my
body, my preferences are the only ones
that matter. And since I greatly perfer
not to have children until i, alone and
without the governments help, can take
care of them, I won't have any.
I always find the argument, "but there are
x number of couples dying to
adopt" to be not only a flat out .L.I.E
but also disgusting in that children who
are waiting to be adopted are ignored
because of it. "well, if there are x
number of couples waiting to adopt, then
why is that child still in the
foster/adoption system? They must have
something wrong with them that makes them
undesirable to prospective parents." - is
how the logic goes.
And, I never said that either decision -
to adopt or abort - wasn't selfish. I
believe both are to differing extents.
However, since child bearing is a personal and
private decision by both people who
adopt and women who abort, I have no
business telling either party what they
should be doing. I am
only here to offer support to those women
who, like me, see abortion as the
responsible decision for themselves and
find people like you preaching scenarios
and "alternatives" that don't work with
their personal beliefs or lives. Also, I
think it would be incredibly selfish to
force a woman to remain pregnant against
her will so that adoptive parents can have
the infant that they want.
i
wrote:
for some of us, though,
your naive,
"and-they-all-lived-happily-ever-after"
rarely
happens
Quote:
maybe if more
people had a positive attitude about life,
it could happen more
often!
a positive attitude about life does
not keep prospective adoptive parents from
screwing a pregnant woman nor does it keep
the birth mother from suffering.that was the situation I was
referencing. You seem to have a very
idealized, not realistic, vision of
adoption. You seem to believe that women
who have just given birth happily hand
over their babies to complete strangers
with a smile on their face, the adoptive
parents smile at her and probably thank
her profusely, and then they all leave the
hospital happy and well adjusted. It may
work for tv and the movies but that
doesn't mean it's how the situation works
out in real life for the majority of women
who choose it.
My concern is always for the pregnant
woman because I have been in her shoes.
I sympathize with the couple who wants to
adopt but in all honesty there are hundreds of
thousands of children waiting
to be adopted(millions if you
consider that international adoptions have
become quite popular). If the woman
chooses to keep her pregnancy but cannot
keep her child, I wish her all the best in
the adoption process and a referral to a
good therapist and possibly a support
group. If the woman decides not to
remain pregnant, then I support her
decision.
As I said before, none of the women I know
who have chosen adoption support the
decision now. All of them regret it.
And while I want to believe that adoption
can have a positive outcome for the birth
mother, i've never seen that to be the
case. I care about the pregnant woman
because all too often she is ignored or
her concerns about her life are pushed
aside to focus on the adoptive parents.
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Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 748
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-01-06 09:46am
It's very easy to say you want to put a
child up for adoption, but the child's
future has a pretty good chance of being
unhappy if you choose this existence for
it. There are tons of kids waiting to be
adopted currently in this country alone,
and there is so much red tape involved in
the adoption process. People who want to
adopt are often refused for silly reasons,
and kids end up stuck in foster care for
their entire childhoods. It's not fair to
the child to let it grow up without a
loving family.
I would choose abortion without
hesitation. My main reason is I despise
children. I refuse to allow a child to be
brought into a life where it would most
likely be neglected. I hate children
enough to know that one left in my care
would be miserable, at the very least. I
don't think it's fair to any children to
be born just to be stuck in a foster home.
What kind of a life is that? Why do
pro-lifers value life over the quality of
life? Just because something is alive
doesn't mean it wants to or should be
alive. I know I would not want to go
about my life knowing I had a child
somewhere out in the world...It just
creeps me out.
I think a child should only be born if it
has a chance of having a good life, as in
one with parents that love it and want it
and are willing to make the lifelong
commitment. Not like stupid teenage girls
who think babies are accessories and just
dump the baby in grandma's lap while mommy
goes out and lives her life as normal.
But I digress.
Sometimes I wish adoption was outlawed, so
women would either have to abort or keep
the child. It might prompt more women to
save children and themselves suffering by
aborting, but then it would also make some
women think they need to keep the child so
they don't kill "one of god's miracles".
It might also lead to more women simply
abandoning their children. Adoption is
pretty much the easy way out for some
women. I think they want to have the
satisfaction of saying they endured
pregnancy and childbirth without the
responsibility that comes with parenthood.
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Moo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Feb 2006 Posts: 1048 Location: London
Thanks: 21
Thanked:93
Posted: 08-01-06 12:57pm
I agree with jenn.
The major problem I see is the fact tha
adoption is a parenting issue, you still
have to go through the pregnancy and
delivery and then you still have a genetic
child out there. For me having 9months of
pregnancy just wasn't an option for me - I
thought about adoption but it wasn't right
for my situation, as i'm sure it's not for
many other women.
Also, just because other people cannot
have children I do not see it as my
responsibility to provide them with that.
There are plenty of older children
desparately in need of adoption too but
most people want a baby so that's
something for those couples wanting to
adopt to look at too.
Quote:
i would say 98%
of women seeking abortions are not in any
unusual
danger.
it's not as simple as women being "in
danger", the fact is that an unwanted
pregnancy can cause huge amounts of
emotional distress. Just because it's not
physical danger doesn't mean that women
shouldn't abort. Any reason is valid,
it's the individuals choice whether to
abort/adopt/parent.
Quote:
do mean in a
normal abortion situation, of course in
yours it could be different since you had
to choose abortion, you may not have as
many second thoughts as a regular person,
since you really didn't have a "choice".
well, as a "regular" person I don't think
about what it would have been like, it was
a foetus that my life couldn't accomodate.
Initially I wondered but I was just
relieved that I was no longer pregnant.
Quote:
not one person I
have spoke to about abortion said the
didn't regret it
afterward.
i have the opposite experience. Out of
the many women i've spoken to the minority
are those who regret - yes there's some
sadness but this doesn't automatically
mean regret.
|
jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 08-01-06 14:16pm
cambion
wrote:
there are tons of kids
waiting to be adopted currently in this
country alone, and there is so much red
tape involved in the adoption process.
People who want to adopt are often refused
for silly reasons, and kids end up stuck
in foster care for their entire
childhoods. It's not fair to the child
to let it grow up without a loving
family.
this is a quite common
misconception. True, there are income
level requirements and arrest record rules
that cannot be circumvented but states
have made it easier and easier to adopt
and foster children because they had too
many children to take care of. My
neighbor is a case worker for the state
and even at my current income level (very
low) and my job status (part time
worker/full time student), I could adopt a
child within three months and I could
foster a child in my home within six
weeks. She's tried to get me to foster
because she's so overworked and
overburdened by her case load.
In fact, it is easier to adopt/foster
through the state than it is to adopt
through an independent agency. The only
difference is that if you adopt/foster
through the state, you are likely to only
have your choice of older children (3 and
up) as opposed to an infant. Many people
claim that it is very difficult to adopt
not because the process is hard but
because they aren't able to get the child
(infant, white, healthy) that they want.
If you truly just want "a child to love"
or to "give a child a good home", then you
will have no problem finding many children
who fit that criteria - they just won't be
babies. Still, you won't have to wait
since there are literally hundreds of
thousands of children waiting to be
adopted.
Quote:
not like stupid
teenage girls who think babies are
accessories and just dump the baby in
grandma's lap while mommy goes out and
lives her life as normal. But I
digress.
not all teenage mother's
feel or think this way but I know what
you're getting at. I had a friend in
highschool who became pregnant
intentionally because her ex-boyfriend had
broken up with her and she just "wanted
someone who would always love her no
matter what." unfortunately, children
take a lot more love than they give and
there is no gaurantee that they will love
you when they grow old enough to
understand the concept.
Quote:
it might also
lead to more women simply abandoning their
children.
women and men do this
now. They've made it insanely easy to
abandon a child legally by dropping it off
at an approved fire station, hospital,
church, and some community centers. No
questions asked, you just leave your kid
there and the state takes over its care.
Quote:
adoption is
pretty much the easy way out for some
women. I think they want to have the
satisfaction of saying they endured
pregnancy and childbirth without the
responsibility that comes with
parenthood.
i don't think any of
these child bearing decisions are an "easy
way out." it's difficult for all of us to
look at our lives completely and totally
objectively which is what it takes to make
any child bearing decision. Where am I
going? Where am I at in my life? Am I
happy with where i'm at? How will x
decision change my life? Can I afford
that change on all levels? How will y
decision change my life? Can I afford
that change on all levels? How will z
decision change my life? Can I afford
that change on all levels?
For me, it was very difficult to admit
that I wasn't the complete success that I
thought i'd be at that age (granted, I was
and am still quite young). It was very
difficult to admit to myself that I was
not prepared and I felt like my body had
betrayed me. Each decision, to remain
pregnant or not, is difficult for every
woman going through it. Whatever her
personal reasons were for choosing
whatever she chose, I support her because
I know how hard it is to be in that place.
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 08-01-06 15:03pm
You are probably one of the lucky one's
that found a good home along with alot of
others. Jenn is definitely not selfish,
she is a very caring and understanding
person. I am a social service worker and
a nurse and probably much older than you
are I have seen several foster homes being
shut down and I too realize that their are
good one's out there,their are one's being
shut down and I am sure you have heard for
abuse and neglect and molestation. You
know I love to hear of happy endings just
as well as the next person but it doesn't
always happen. Their are too many times
when a couple goes to adopt a child and
the biological mother steps in, just put
yourself in that place with the adoptive
parents where they have had the child say
for 4 months and they are getting ready to
go sign the real documents and in comes
the biological mother starting a bunch of
garbage with court documents, it would be
horrible like jenn said all of the red
tape and all and then you sometimes have
to deal with the father that has just been
told, it is not always easy and I agree
with what .Jenn is telling you! Along
with .Cambion! Sometimes these foster
homes are all about money! Even though
some are good! But it is really scarry!
