Before reading this I would ask that u do
not judge me. 4 years ago me and some
guys I know played a prank on some other
guys. We were 15 im now 19.
We were on a school trip. The other guys
were acting like they were really hard and
were pissed off because they could not get
any alcohol. So we decided to masterbate
into this drink of coke and say it was
alcohol. There were 5 of us. None of us
had any previous sexual contact and did
not have aids or disease.
Since that time the other guys have gone
on to live normal lives and are fine. I
have been deeply ashamed of what I did and
realise how wrong my actions were I have
been very depressed about what I did and
swore to myself that I would never be lead
again and think about my actions.
I apologised to the others that were
effected by the stupid prank, and can look
them in the eye and have a conversation
with them.
What I want to know to put my mind to rest
after 4 years is if they could have
somehow got aids or something. I think
since they are all fine know it seems
unlikely. Please help.
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yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 888 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-04-06 08:26am
Fyi...This is a good question to ask the
doctor. When you do, be sure to include
the original text, as he/she replies only
to quesyions, and not to posts.
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guest35765
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2006 Posts: 4
Posted: 08-04-06 17:33pm
Ye I tried earlier but once I realised
that I had to ask it in question form the
website said it would only let me post one
question per week.
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yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 888 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-07-06 03:15am
That makes sense.
Well, I bet the doctor will reply soon.
Keep looking.
In my experience, I remember learning that
if you did not have an std at the time,
then you could not possible transmit
one.
I think it was honorable of you to
apologize and even admit your actions.
That's a lot of growing up, more than most
people could handle. But it sounds as if
you're not over the guilt. That must
come, too. Self-forgiveness is part of
accepting our humanness.
One thing I try to ask myself when i'm
feeling bad about the past is: "would I do
the same thing today?" if the answer is
,"no." I feel better and know that i've
changed.
Hope it helps!
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guest35765
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2006 Posts: 4
Posted: 08-07-06 05:35am
Thank you for the kind words.
Ye I know im not fully over the guilt, one
of the things that I have found is that I
almost well not want but almost feel that
it is only correct if bad things happen to
me. I think it is for that reason that
this feeling of guilt that I have grown up
with is my punishment for my actions.
However, as this feeling of extreme guilt
manifests itself in your head and you feel
no reason for denying it being there it is
difficult to get it out. This has lead me
to be almost clinically depressed.
Im not saying this to get sympathy or out
of self pity it is just good to be able to
express myself.
As you say about your mistakes have made
you a better person, it is clear due to
your kind words that whatever stage you
are at in your life you have turned into a
thoughouly decent human being.
