Im 16 years old and I think I need help.
I used to be so carefree and happy, this
year it has been a whole different story.
I have been feeling very unhappy, things
I used to find as fun and make me happy,
still dont approve of making me feel any
better- my average mood for every day is
feeling bad and unhappy thinking I am
worthless and wondering what is wrong with
myself. I have had ovarian cysts twice
and they keep on coming back, I have been
put onto the pill which is supposed to
help that problem but I was hoping it will
also help my emotional problem as well but
it hasnt changed anything. I have had
alot of experiences of getting sick and
every little thing of when I get sick, I
think its something harmful to my life.
I get alot of anxiety attacks for no
reason. I am starting to feel like I
dont know who I am as a person anymore and
keep on questioning myself and cant help
but think about everything in life that is
going on and concentrating on all the bad
things, taking in little things as
something big and bad. There is nothing
really in particular making me feel in
this kind of way in my life, my family is
beautiful and I love them, my friends are
beautiful and I love them too, its just
me. I dont know whats wrong with me?
I really dont understand why I feel this
way and I hate it.. I try to make
myself happy, especially around friends
when they joke around and have a laugh but
I feel as though I cant fit in with myself
because im unhappy with my self esteem and
always think too much about what to say
which makes me hold back and keep things
to myself. Lately I have been keeping
to myself alot, when I go out with friends
I prefer to be on my own and think and I
dont know why, I just feel like im not
good enough. I have alot of feelings of
regret and I dont know why. Im starting
to get very frustrated and angry very
easily- thinking everything bad is just
happening to me. Im starting to get
offended and hurt easily emotionally which
makes me get angry and very defending of
myself. I used to drink alot of alcohol
to make myself show out more because when
I had alcohol I felt like I could be
myself, but lately I cant even drink
alcohol as even the smell makes me feel
sick. I really dont know what to do and
I dont know why I am like this.. I just
want to be like I was before, feeling
happy and being able to wake up in the
morning happy to start a new day. :?
:( I also feel weird when I walk now,
like I cant move my legs properly and I
dont know what the cause is? These
feelings make me feel like im going crazy
even though im not because sometimes I
just cry for no reason, I just dont know
whats happening to myself?
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hey its sydney
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 12
Posted: 08-09-06 12:49pm
Hey there! I was lookin around and I saw
your post and I had to reply to you. Just
so you know, ill be 16 in november . . .
So now you have some ones point of veiw
from a person in the same age range.
I am the same way dear. Since I was about
13 I was having problems with severe
depression and anxiety. I would have
anxiety attacks for no reason at the most
random times. I felt alone, and that no
one understood what I was going through.
I felt used and destroyed that I would
live a life of sorrow. And I was mad at
myself. Extremely mad. So I took on a
reality escape . . . Self mutilation.
I did this for about a year with no one
knowing. My friends found out, and they
didnt understand, so that left me more in
the dumps. Durring that time period, I
became sexually actice. I didnt have
intercourse, but I did mess around a lot.
I smoked weed, popped pills, and drank(as
you said you did) then about a year and a
half ago, I met this guy and he understood
me. Yet I still persisted to hurt myself
and would still take pills and drink
occasionally, but I quit smoking weed
because I found that my dad did it, which
pissed me off even more. Well soon enough
my mom found me cutting mysefl, she saw
the blood seeping through the sleeve of my
shirt. She imediately sought help for me.
I have seen 5 therapists. And none
seemed to help. . . Then I found one
that I just enjoyed talking to. She told
me that when ever I was upset to write in
a journal, just whatever goes throuhg my
mind. Dont write fancy or anything. Just
write whatever comes to your mind. And I
did, and it really helped. Then she said
that I should write in it at the end of
the day 3 things that happened, that were
good, and why they happened.
That also helped. I have not inflicted
any pain upon myself 4 months now. And
i've never been happier. There are still
some glitches in my life. But I am
getting through them. Im probably
pregnant, and im not allowed to see or
speak to the possible father, and we have
been together for a yeah and a half now.
So that really bites. . .
What you should do . . . In my personal
opinion, is do the journal thing, I know
it sounds corny, but it will help, I
promise, when your done writing you will
feel so relieved. I do. But whatever you
do, you really dont want to take up
drinking because it makes you feel
yourself. It leads you down a road with
no ending, and to turn around is extremly
hard. My father is also a recovering
alcoholic. And he has suffered from it a
great deal, and seeing him go through all
that pain was really overwhelming. And I
wish there was someway I could reach
people and let them know what drinking to
better your mood does.
I hope I may have helped in some way ifnot
at least I tried.
If you would like you can pm me and ill
give you my email address and we can keep
talking. If not. Then good luck and I
hope that everything gets well for you in
the near future.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Pure_love Posted: 08-09-06 13:21pm
You are both soo young to be feeling this
way but you are not alone and we are here
for you although we are not dr's.
Sometimes mental health can lead you in
the right direction and please, don't take
me wrong, I am not trying to tell you that
you are crazy, we pretty much all need a
liitle help in our lives sometimes, a
journal is a good idea, it does help to
get it out of your system. Sometimes
talking to your dr can help to. You know
that cutting and having an eating disorder
is definitely not the right answer
possibly a support group might help or
like a cbt group, their is a lot of groups
out there that can help now adays. Maybe
someone else has somemore information to
offer. I am sure that growing up this
day and age is not easy but again their is
alot of help out there for you, and
realize that things could be much worse.
My .Daughter works with special and abused
children, I used to, if you could see them
you would realize how thankful you are.
I hope that you are able to get some
help!
All the best!
Last edited by sandyallen on 08-16-06 12:55pm; edited 1 time in total
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Hey It' Sydney Posted: 08-09-06 13:36pm
Hi there I am glad to hear that you are
doing better with part of your situation!
How old is your b/f or possible father of
your child? Have you contacted social
services and asked what your rights are in
some places if you become pregnant you
will be classified as an adult but some
places if he is ofver 18 or whatever he
can get in trouble.
I am glad your journal is helping you and
remember that we are here for you also!
All the best!
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hey its sydney
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 12
Posted: 08-09-06 13:53pm
He'll be 17 in october. No, I havent
checked out anything, im still unsure if
im preganant. But i'm going to get a test
this weekend to find out. So, soon after
that I will check.
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lince
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Aug 2006 Posts: 1 Location: india
Re: Depression Posted: 08-16-06 11:52am
Depression is not something you can just
"snap out of." it's caused by an imbalance
of brain chemicals
in any given 1-year period, 9.5 percent of
the population, or about 20.9 million
american adults, suffer from a depressive
illness5 the economic cost for this
disorder is high, but the cost in human
suffering cannot be estimated.
Depressive illnesses often interfere with
normal functioning and cause pain and
suffering not only to those who have a
disorder, but also to those who care about
them. Serious depression can destroy
family life as well as the life of the ill
person. But much of this suffering is
unnecessary.
Most people with a depressive illness do
not seek treatment, although the great
majority even those whose depression is
extremely severe can be helped. Thanks
to years of fruitful research, there are
now medications and psychosocial therapies
such as ognitive/behavioral, "talk" or
interpersonal that ease the pain of
depression.
Unfortunately, many people do not
recognize that depression is a treatable
illness. If you feel that you or someone
you care about is one of the many
undiagnosed depressed people in this
country, the information presented here
may help you take the steps that may save
your own or someone else's life.
