Well ive come to realize that im almost 20
years old, im not going to be a teen for
much longer, and I never had a girlfriend,
never been kissed. I dont know what to
do. Ill be a sophmore in college this
year, which is practicaly an all male
college. Everyone I work with is like
under 18, or over 25. The only thing
wrong with me is I have a lazy eye, my
right eye is 2 millimeters off. That 2
millimeters ruins my life. I know most
people cant even tell, but im still
probably the most self-concious person in
the world. Even if someones ugly, they
can change their hairslyle, go tanning,
workout, put on makeup, do stuff to boost
their confidence. I cant do anything,
no matter what I do, ill have a lazy eye.
If it wasnt for the eye I would be a
pretty good lookin guy, my whole life I
tried to do things to take attention off
of my eyes. Im not trying to be
concieded, but I have a very nice body,
5'8 140 lbs, well defined 6-pack, very cut
but not super skinny, I have alittle over
6% body fat, I eat healthy and run
everyday, I try to take care of myself.
I played sports in high school. Last
year I made varsity for my college and
qualified for nationals, I also got a few
nice medals last year. I have a very
nice paying job as a waiter, I own a
decent car and a crotch rocket, I have a
nice clothing style. Im a really nice
guy, I literally get along with every
single person I meet. All of this means
nothing, I cant get past the eye.
All I think about is my eye, every day I
think about how amazing my life would be
if they were straight, how much fun life
would be. What do you do before you
kiss a girl? Look them in the eye.
Whats the first thing girls notice about a
guy, eyes right? What do you do when
you talk to people?, look them in the
eyes. Its the worst thing in the world,
imagine not being able to look at people.
If I could somehow like have my leg cut
off in exchange for having straight eyes,
id do it in a heartbeat, I wouldnt think
twice about it.
I have girls that would date me, ive had 1
or 2 that were actually pretty obsessed
haha. But there are always problems,
most of the time I just dont have feelings
for them. Other times I just think
about their reputation or what my parents
and friends would think about them.
Sometimes theyre all over me and already
have boyfriends! (happend twice.)
i dont know what to do, im afraid ill be
girlfriendless forever, I could see myself
being 25 and in the same situation. My
parents probably think im gay or somethin.
I cant talk to friends about it, they
prolly wouldnt believe me if I told them I
never had a girlfriend anyway. If
anyone could give me any advice or
suggestions or anything that could make me
feel better, that would be awesome. I
appreciate it.
Edit: nevermind I added it to the last
post
Last edited by ohiokid87 on 08-11-06 17:18pm; edited 2 times in total
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pure_l0ve
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Aug 2006 Posts: 5 Location: australia
Eyes Are T0 See Posted: 08-06-06 23:09pm
Hey, I know where ur comming from about
feeling self-concious,but its the inside
that counts.. I know alot of people who
arent very good looking and their
beautiful from the inside, which makes
them look beautiful from the outside.
Life isnt about looking good, no body is
perfect and everyone has their own faults,
even girls u see on the street that look
like they can get any guy they want, they
cant- they have their faults also. If a
girl doesnt love u for who u are then they
dont deserve you. So stop looking for
girls that go for only looks because
theyre the ones that will be miserable in
their lives!! Dont be afraid to look
people in the eyes, because if they notice
your self-concious and uncomfortable with
it, then they will feel that way as well
and may think u arent attracted to them.
Be confident and be urself because thats
the only thing that attracts girls and
they love most. Good luck :) p.S. Dont
think about the shape of ur eyes, just
think that ur lucky god gave u eyes to
see- because theres some people out there
that dont have eye sight or had to get
their eyes taken out for various reasons,
and havnt seen the beauty of the world.
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~baby~g~
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Posts: 221 Location: Ohio
Posted: 08-07-06 01:25am
I agree with the pp. Beauty is in the
inside, not the outside. If someone
judges you because of your eye, then hey
it's there loss, right? You can do way
better then that. There is someone out
there for everyone, maybe it just isn't
your time to find that someone yet.
Things will get better for you. Life is
rough and there are mean people, but look
past that and be happy and confident.
If you need a friend to talk to you can pm
me!
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yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 888 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-07-06 03:35am
I hear you.
When I start to get into self-pity, the
"poor me" syndrome...I think of 10 things
I am thankful for. It seems silly, but
try it. You can write down 10 things
that really bring you joy. It helps me
feel lighter.
And then try it once a day. It can help
your head get out of the "i wish it was
different" thoughts to the acceptance of
what is. You're not going to be able to
change the physical, but you can change
the internal.
And i'm with the others...You sound
intelligent and thoughtful. There will
be a really cool woman who can look you in
the eyes, and feel love for you. You've
got love yourself first, though.
And if you're really wondering about the
physical stuff, why not try kissing
someone who's not in love with
you?...Sexuality isn't only about love,
especially early on in life. Otherwise,
you'll be waiting until "the one" shows
up...
No one even notices the eye, im a waiter
and I talk and flirt with the customers
all the time, thats how I get the big tips
;) sometimes I get phone numbers along
with the tips haha. Nobody ever says or
knows anything about it, im like the only
one that knows it, but im still just so
self-concious. Thats why im just afraid
to date girls, cause I know eventually
they'll notice. And I also just feel so
behind, I should have already had like 4-5
years experience of kissing and sex.
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yogahoneybunny
Supporter
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 888 Location: Strumica, Macedonia
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 08-09-06 02:35am
Hmmmmm. I'm getting a better picture of
what the fear is for you.
Ok. Everyone is afraid of taking that
first step. But let me tell you, as a
woman, girls like to be asked out. They
like to do new things and be treated well.
I even think some prefer kissing to
sex.
Get out there! Call one of your
customers. Try it out. Who are you
wanting to date? Are they out of your
league? Super hot or just good looking?
What kind of character are you looking
for?
In my opinion...You can either go for the
sexual experience or the relationship
aspect. Different intentions will
attract different girls. If you want the
sex, the trust does not have to last much
longer than one night (always keep a
condom with you!!!). If you want a
relationship, you'll have to develop
enough trust to talk about your
self-consciousness and your eyes.
You'll never know until you try. And
believe me...You're not alone! I think
people really exaggerate their sexual
experiences in the early 20's. There is
no real "i should be here" sexual marker.
No one really knows what they're doing,
anyways. This doesn't put you off the
hook, though. You'e got to try!
I look forward to your response.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 08-09-06 08:23am
Do you have a picture?I'm sure your making
a bigger deal out of it than you
should.Like someone else said,if you payh
more attention to the things you think are
bad about yourself,so will everyone
else.Look people in the eye and don't be
afraid to do so! I have a friend named
jeff(my x bf's bro),his eyes constantly
travel and they shake sometimes (he has to
wear glasses) but he had lots of chics on
him cause he had confidence. He had been
divorced 2 times now but that besides the
point.Don't let your eyes become a
downfall hun! Your personality is what
really counts!
I dont get a whole lot of numbers, just
every once and awhile. And id say theyre
out of my league, but I dont really know
what my league is haha. I guess im
wanting a relationship. I work at a
hotel, so most of the customers are on
vacation, so I doubt theyre looking for a
relationship, but who knows haha. I dont
know itll prolly be awhile till I get a
girlfriend cause I have aloooot of credits
this semester, maybe if girls went to my
school, then id see her more, but its
pretty much an all boys college, and the
girls that do go there
are...Ummm...Undateble. Plus the
cross-country coach is on my ass 24/7, if
I join that then I wont have any time for
girls. Im always so busy, my life sucks.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 08-10-06 06:29am
Well maybe when you get settled with
school and get your life going you'll find
someone.Your life isn't over! : )
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danthadon
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Dec 2005 Posts: 53 Location: BC
Hey Man Posted: 08-10-06 20:35pm
Eyelid surgery dude or a lot of vitamin a
and cover your good eye with a patch.
Ive already had surgery on both eyes.
The surgey is suppost to wear off after
like 10 years, I had the first when I was
like 2, then when I was 16, which helped
alittle but they still arent perfect.
And you can only have it done once on each
eye. So that option is out. Do
you have anymore information about the
vitiman a? Im 99% sure it wont work
but ill try anything.
Edit: someone asked about a picture, sorry
its kinda hard to see my eyes in it, but
you can tell if u look close.
Last edited by ohiokid87 on 08-27-06 14:35pm; edited 1 time in total
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fox1lady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2006 Posts: 53
Posted: 08-11-06 18:58pm
Dont worry my first cousin brandon in
dallas has the same problem when we were
kids, when he got older he has his nerve
cut and he looks normal...His eye still
works as normal it just that he doesnt
have that delay..My best friend in new
york has the same problem, but she is the
funniest person I ever met..Guys enjoy her
friendship and personality..She is a real
character..Hold you head up some of these
girls dont know what they are missing..I
bet you have a great since of humor..Most
of them are too thin and stick up with big
heads anyway..
Haha thanks. Yeah people always love my
sense of humor. That picture doesnt work
oh well. Ill look around my school
website, theres prolly a pic of me on
there somewhere.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 08-11-06 19:26pm
My ex-husband had a lazy-eye and had eye
surgery in his younger days but it did not
help and he was a womanizer, he had a
problem with it when he was younger, but
he grew out of it. I was born with a
large wine stain birth-mark and I still
have it, they did not have all of this
lazer stuff when I was growing up and if
they did, I still would have had a scar
from it my parents thought about one time
about having it tatood(sp) off but the
dr's felt that it was too close to the
brain and it might have left worse of a
scar or more damage so I lived with it, it
just taught me that kids and some adults
can be cruel and beauty is within and I do
not need those that are going to judge me
because of my outside, sure, it gave me a
complex for a while too but I got over it
and so will you. You might need a little
therapy, I did! You will find someone
that will look at you not what is just
what is on the outside but what is on the
inside just like what I found!
All the best to you! We are here for you!
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miller2190
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2004 Posts: 58 Location: GA
Posted: 08-11-06 20:55pm
Your picture works for me, the forum just
adds capital letters for some reason, you
just have to copy and paste the link into
the web browser and change all the capital
letters to lowercase.
