Hi, i'm male and just turned 18 a few days
ago, and I have a whole lotta problems
which have made me unberably depressed, I
feel it might help to get some peoples
advice. First off - women, I am
still a virgin and havent had a girlfriend
and turning 18 has risen this pressure to
great heights. I met a girl who
lives far away at a festival, we made out
and got on really well but she went and
got with other guys too which made me feel
sad. She actually came down on my
18th party and I promised myself id just
treat her like a friend, but when I heard
she was making out with one of my friends,
I became a wreck. The distance is
too far and I dont even know if she could
be trusted, but I think I love her and
know she doesnt feel the same. I am
pressured I will not find a girl I got on
with so well and shared one special little
moment with. Secondly, ive been
having trouble in my genitle area but that
has been posted in the sexual health part.
I get paranoid and worried easily
and im sick of that too, I want to cure my
paranoia, I hate it. I also get really
sad when I look forward to something so
much (eg my 18th party) then after its all
over I just feel really misreable and
really start to miss it. I feel like I
wouldnt care if I just dropped dead right
now, I just feel really worried. I
dont really feel like doing any activities
like watching a film or playing a game or
stuff like id usually do, all I feel like
doing is talking to people and talking
late night walks... Anyone got any
advice?
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Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1422 Location: , Georgia USA
First, I think its most honorable you are
18 years old and still a vrigin. You
should not feel badly about this. As for
this girl, who you fell so hard for, its
obvious shes a player......You deserve
better. You deserve someone who will
appreciate you and your feelings. You are
young. You are also depressed. Do you
have a family physican you can talk to?
Try to learn this early, as it took me
almost 40 years...... Only you can make
yourself happy. You can't rely on anyone
else. You have the choice everyday to
live a happy life, or a sad life. There
are lots of fish out there, just don't
grab the first tadpole! As for your sex
life....You got a lifetime for that to
happen. Get out there and make new
friends and enjoy life. Don't allow
yourself to crawl into a shell and waste
valuable time you will never get back.
Believe in yourself! Keep us posted! :d
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jimmyeth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 08-07-06 14:51pm
Thank you for the kind words, yeh I really
fell for this girl, probably because im
not used to it. I cant bring myself to
be mad at her even though she has upset
me, and cant bring myself to lose contact.
I think I may have other problems
aswell, and being a paranoid individual
doesnt help, it just makes me worry
stupidly. I need to somehow sort
everything out, I dont know how though.
I am a very nostalgic person also, I miss
fun things I did in the past, hence why I
miss things special like my 18th party
even tho there was a little problem,
thought id share that aswell. And also
no, I dont have a family physican
unfortunately...
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jimmyeth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 08-08-06 08:30am
I also seem to get paranoid and worry a
lot about things... Anyone got any advice
for this?
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jimmyeth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 08-10-06 15:07pm
Anyone got any advice, please?
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mscreant
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2006 Posts: 5 Location: Montreal
Now's the Time Posted: 08-11-06 10:31am
To check that out. It is really good to
be aware of how you are feeling and
recognize that you want to change that.
I dont know your situation well...If you
could find a good therapist or a good
doctor that is someone who could help and
recommend things. It depedns on the level
fo paranoia, I guess, too.
Cognative behvioral therapy (cbt could
work)
i know of a few books that seem to help
different people with anxiety - yo udidnt
use this word so I dont know if it fits,
but the following books seem to help:
anxiety and phobia woorkbook by bourne
mind over mood (by padesky) which I think
pioneered something called
cognative-behvioral therapy - which is
supposed to help you change thinking
patterns.
Http://www.Mindovermood.
Com/welcome.Htm
sometimes changing diet, sleeping
patterns, habits, etc. Help - like if you
smoke a lot of pot, that can lead to a lot
of anxiety or paranoia (some people find
hash to be better than pot). Some
people find taking medications helpful,
too, although I would recommend with this
to do a lot of research on what you migh
tbe prescribed and what it is supposed to
do. Meds can be good but can be pretty
crappy too.
Too much info?
Hope it helps
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johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 229
Posted: 08-11-06 16:44pm
jimmyeth
wrote:
i also seem to get paranoid
and worry a lot about things... Anyone
got any advice for
this?
cbt has helped me a great deal and reduced
my worrying a lot so I would recommend
that too. The cbt book we used in my
group is short and straight forward it's
called been there, done that? Do this!
By sam obitz. There's a link where you
can read the forward to the book on the
website www.Tao3.Com
definitely give cbt a try!
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jimmyeth
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2006 Posts: 22
Posted: 08-24-06 20:13pm
Thanks for the replies people I really
appreciate it. Thanks for the book
reccomendations aswell i'll have to check
them out, not to sound like a cheap ass
but, is there anything on the internet
which gives similar advice as these books
do? If so I would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
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mscreant
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2006 Posts: 5 Location: Montreal
You Could Try the Library Posted: 08-24-06 21:24pm
Although you couldnt work directly in the
book, you could at least get a sense for
it works and maybe even read the sections
but photocopy the worksheets to use
later.
Also, depending on where you are located,
if there are mental health centres (in
canada there is something called the
canadian mental health association) or
even places like women's centre (many are
open to any gender) that might have copies
to loan out, too.
Good luck to you.
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trying_to_cope
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 31 Location: Seattle
Actually It Is Cheap Posted: 08-28-06 01:06am
That obitz book is like $12 or whatever.
And in my opinion the information it can
give you is worth $100. I'd say give
that book a shot, and also try
volunteering-- or something to make
yourself feel valuable like you're
contributing something of yourself to make
things better for others. Depression
comes upon us when we feel the need to act
but fail to take action.
So try that and the obitz book and things
will get brighter for you!
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johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 229
Posted: 09-06-06 19:18pm
Jimmy, try miscreants suggestion and if
your library does not have it ask them to
borrow it from another library which
usually only takes a couple of weeks to do
on inter library loan.
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johnR
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 229
Posted: 09-21-06 15:58pm
How's life treating you jimmy? I hope you
are feeling better.
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trying_to_cope
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2005 Posts: 31 Location: Seattle
Anybody Heard How Jimmy Is Faring Lately? Posted: 11-28-06 20:34pm
Hopefully he's doing better.
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cece7
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 134
Posted: 02-19-07 18:46pm
jimmy the cognitive training advice is
really good they have been giving you and
you don't sound like a cheap ass either
If it is free
its's for me The
obitz book and the tea form exercise is
great and you can probably check it out at
your local library for free
If it is free
its's for me 
The
obitz book and the tea form exercise is
great and you can probably check it out at
your local library for free 
