Joined: 01 Aug 2006 Posts: 17 Location: Puerto Rico
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Why Do I Hold On to Things That Hurt? Posted: 08-07-06 18:53pm
I think this is a huge problem I have and
i'd like to know how to stop because it's
troubling my relationship and messing with
my mind. I don't know why I hold on to
the past. My husband's past. He once
had this girl,he almost had sex with and I
can't even stand listening to her name and
it really hurted me when he told me and we
weren't even together. He found out
she's a prostitute and they didn't go any
further but,i think there's a bit more to
that or that's just my jelaousy taking
over my thougths.
Recently I was going through my husbands
e-mails and I saw a jaw-dropping picture
where a girl,that later on he told me it
was that same girl I just mentioned,
sucking a balloon in his genital..Like if
she were sucking his dick. I cheked the
date and it was 2004 at by that year,we
were together. I talked to him,looking
for an explanation and he said that
picture was during his freshman week,that
they sent that pic to him a year later.
Inside I felt he was lying but he swears
he's telling the truth and even got mad at
me because I don't trust him and that is
past. I can't get the picture off my
head, and I can't stop imagining the
situation and I think that's just sick and
gets me really frustrated,sad and I would
like to know if this happens to anyone and
how do I get over this? Today and don't
know why the hell I got into his e-mail
to see that pic again!!! I deleted but
it just messes up with my mind. I
really need opinions,help here please,i
hope to see replies.
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fox1lady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2006 Posts: 53
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Posted: 08-11-06 19:40pm
:wink:
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fox1lady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
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Posted: 08-11-06 19:49pm
Ok this has gone to far...Try to put
yourself in his position, and you were the
female and he was a past lover..Wouldnt
you want to be forgiving..You cant change
the past its just what it is the past, a
suggestion would be to do something
errotic to your husband...You just have to
learn to move on..If he found out about
your deepest darkest secrets you done in
the past you would be surprised how the
roles would change..So in order not to
have the tables turn on you forget about
it, and give him a little privacy when it
comes to email..My husband and I had a big
huges argument about an email with one of
his coworkers who was a female..And the
details in the email rasied question as if
he may have something going on..Mind you
this female works in another state and has
never seen him in her life..They just have
work related contact..He tried to comfort
her when her boss upset her and I took the
whole conversation all wrong and go all
worked up over nothing...I learned the
hard way that I cannot control him, I
forgave him...And we now have a clear
understanding on female coworkers..Now I
tell you this because I have experienced
it..Now granted it took me a couple of
days to get over it but I took it out on
him in the bedroom..And I was the biggest
promiscuous person he could've imagined
that night....You may have to do the same
thing
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Anbrowing
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Aug 2006 Posts: 17 Location: Puerto Rico
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Hmmmm... Posted: 08-12-06 09:05am
I really like that ide on taking it out on
him on the bedroom. Anger turned into
erotic? That sounds while. I've really
tried to forget,but I found myself
thinking about other things and all of a
sudden the picture comes into mind and I
look so stupid hitting my head and saying
to myself,"forget about it" and I know
it's going to be really hard because as
boyfriends we were together for almost
three years and during those three years
we still had arguments about this girl
because I kept on asking if they had sex
and he didn't tell me. I just find it
quate impossible to go far and then just
stop there,you know? I really want to
forget,because I think i'm beeing obssesed
with this..I will defenetly try taking it
on him when he gets back to pr.
About the e-mail,well I don't know, I
just think that in marriage there should
be no secrets and that it would just be ok
to enter his messenger and talk to his
friends(who are mostly girls) but by him
getting mad,made me think he had something
to hide. I want a marriage with an
extreme trust and honesty and he's not
letting me by those details like not
letting me in his messenger unless u put
in the nick i'm his wife. :?
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fox1lady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2006 Posts: 53
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Posted: 08-12-06 12:02pm
You know once you really stop to really
think about it you do..You just have to
let that devil stop beating you..And he is
really having a great time on you...I say
the hell with it...If your marriage is
this important to you and you have all
that you are looking for in your
husband..With all the things he could be
doing to you..You are blessed..You make
that devil of yours bring his own bat and
beat this thing... :wink:
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toocrunkfaya05
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Joined: 19 Mar 2006 Posts: 47
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Same Here Posted: 11-12-06 12:03pm
Hi, I just went through a similar
situation with my boyfriend. I found some
pics of him and this chick and they were
having sex, she was giving him head and
other stuff. He tells me that the pics
are before me but that means that they
would have to be atleast 2 years old.
Well she sent him the pics at at the end
of october...After he got back home
from"visiting his family" in
indiana..Where this chick stays.. Well I
find it hard to believe because of details
in the picture..Like..He has the same
nipple rings in that he has in now, he has
his penis ring out of his penis and I took
that out when I got here he had it in
before, and his hair is in afro like
now...Thats all not a conicidence from 2
years ago.. But to him it is..I asked why
she would wait 2 years to send the pics
why not get them then, he says he didnt
want them then but he wants them now..2
yrs later... I wrote the chick and she
told me the date it happened and her date
was when he was in indiana "visiting his
family"..But he says he told her to say
that because thats what I was looking for
her to say anyway...So I dont know who to
believe..So all I can say is im not over
it and it will always be on my mind but if
u find a way to get over it please help
me...
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orthogirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Sep 2006 Posts: 69 Location: NC
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Re: Same Here Posted: 03-12-07 04:36am
toocrunkfaya05
wrote:
Hi, I just went through a
similar situation with my boyfriend. I
found some pics of him and this chick and
they were having sex, she was giving him
head and other stuff. He tells me that
the pics are before me but that means that
they would have to be atleast 2 years old.
Well she sent him the pics at at the end
of october...After he got back home
from"visiting his family" in
indiana..Where this chick stays.. Well I
find it hard to believe because of details
in the picture..Like..He has the same
nipple rings in that he has in now, he has
his penis ring out of his penis and I took
that out when I got here he had it in
before, and his hair is in afro like
now...Thats all not a conicidence from 2
years ago.. But to him it is..I asked why
she would wait 2 years to send the pics
why not get them then, he says he didnt
want them then but he wants them now..2
yrs later... I wrote the chick and she
told me the date it happened and her date
was when he was in indiana "visiting his
family"..But he says he told her to say
that because thats what I was looking for
her to say anyway...So I dont know who to
believe..So all I can say is im not over
it and it will always be on my mind but if
u find a way to get over it please help
me...
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