Im New/long Post/needed to Share With Somebody Around My Age Posted: 08-08-06 10:06am
Hi everybody I am new here and I thought
maybe you guys could help me on this, even
thought I think there's noithing to do but
to cope with it so actually I just needed
to share and feel that maybe somebody
feels the same way and im not alone.
Im 19 yrrs old (20 on february) and I feel
like my baby clock is ticking so much, im
in a serious relationship of 1yr and a
half with the most perfect guy. This all
started when I forgot to take a pill one
day and from that month we both thought I
could be well turned out I wasn't but from
just thinking I could be all these
feelings developed anxiety...I know im 19
but all my life i've been very
grownup..Even more than brother 27 (how
many mistakes made) I worked in a daycare
for a period of a yr and couple of months,
taking care of infants and one yr olds
i've gone through over 60 diapers changed
a day! Lol just wanted to share that one!
And dealing with them and teaching them
all day I think that helped me mature so
much too...Anyways I really want to stop
feeling this way wanting a baby because I
know as much as I wanted and my partner
says it would be ok if it just happened
it'a not the time. You guys should see my
face when I see a pregnant woman or a
baby...I melt and somehow I also feel
jealous..Me and my partner are very close
and I confessed to him how bad I wanted a
baby, he said he was happy I did and
didn't want me to stop wanting one...But I
know so hard he wants everything on it's
right time, like I knew before and didn't
tell him earlier because I knew he wasn't
ready for one now. I mean that day I
cried I just let it out, he hates to see
me like that and even said "babe let's
make a baby" oh man! I cried even worse
because I knew he was trying to do it for
me to make me happy and as much as I
wanted it it wasn't right! So I said
no...Trying to be respnsible ...Now I say
I should have but then big fat no hits
again... I just wanted to share and let
it out..I don't wanna bug him everyday
with my I still want a baby...I wish I
didn't so bad. It hits me every
month..Knowing that there's no way I could
be but then I still hope I am. We try to
be careful as im not on the pill bc of
complications but only with condoms, we
have our "oops times"...How do I stop
these feelings? Sorry for such a long
post I do feel better letting this out...I
didn't have anybody else.
|
taya*
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2006 Posts: 189 Location: canAHda
Posted: 08-08-06 14:19pm
Okay, first thing...Good on you for
knowing that this isn't the right time for
you to have a baby! It's completely
natural for you to be craving pregnancy
and motherhood at your age...Hormones are
still going haywire, and your body is
probably trying to remind you to get on
with it before your clock runs out.
However, since you're nineteen, your clock
is still ticking! Don't worry! You just
need to come to terms with wanting a baby,
and have a long talk with your boyfriend
about all the things you're thinking
about. I know you said you didn't want to
bother him, but it's important that your
relationship is completely open. Do you
feel like this is a relationship you can
eventually bring a baby into? If so, make
sure you're both being honest with each
other, and the things you want from the
relationship are out on the table so that
you both can identify when you'll be rady
to make these big changes in your life.
You need to have a discussion about all
the reasons you aren't ready for a baby,
and decide when you .W.I.L.L be ready.
I'm so glad that you were responsible
enough to know that you aren't ready for
motherhood, and you will be happy that you
waited until you're ready.
I don't think there's anyway to dissapate
the longing for a baby, but you could
always try volunteering at daycare centres
or babysitting, or even getting a puppy!
It's good to start small, and that way
you're getting used to caring for someone
who depends on you every day.
That feeling you get every month is the
effect of the hormones you get with your
period. It's completely normal! But,
until you're ready to be a mom, and you
make sure that your boyfriend is ready to
be a father, and support you through
pregnancy and help you raise your baby,
continue to keep things in perspective,
and continue being responsible.
I'm not your age (i'm fifteen in
december), but I hope i've been of some
help.
- mattea
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3159 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 71
Thanked:98
Posted: 08-08-06 19:29pm
I think we all understand but take this
into consideration if you think you are
mentally and finicially ready then do it,
you can still go to school,work and hang
out with friends I do it all with 2
kids(im 22.)
things are just easier when you have a
partner, all I can say is have a really
good convo between the two of yous and
pick a time that would seem good remeber
it takes nine months before they come
around(well actually 10months but we wont
go there.
All I can say is follow your heart if the
conditions are right, I know how it feels
to crave it I still do everytime I see a
preggo woman I miss my belly and having
the kids in there...
|
Sliga
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 8 Location: Florida
Posted: 08-09-06 01:45am
Thanks you girls for your answers! I
feel better after reading them! To
"taya" thank you for your reply! When
I first read I thought a 30+ person wrote
it lol! Don't take it wrong it's
actually a good comment! You seem so
mature for your age! Its good! =)
I appreciated your comment a lot! Yes
I do have that trust with my boyfriend to
talk with him about anything that's going
on but with this I feel like maybe I don't
want to bug him too much we already talked
once and he said that it would happen soon
just not yet...And I don't want to go with
him everytime I feel sad or anxious about
it ...Then he'll think im crazy lol I know
hw won't but I feel bad going to him for
the same thing many times. I came to
think so much about it today! And the
biggest reason why I thik it's right it's
because I feel that I have the most
wonderful guy I could ever had, he's
amazing ad so different and also my mom is
so supportive and would approve of
this...Gosh they make it so easy for me!
But im good im responsible! I do too
thnk about how we are both not finished
with college...He's almost done and im not
even starting till august next yr (only 12
months though yay) we both work and make
it though pretty good with money...And
with a baby we would be fine but tight...I
know that's what he's trying to avoid he's
been through a lot with his nephews being
born when he was young and taking care of
them...That's how I understand him and
know that he wants everything in perfect
time!...Gosh I miss working at a daycare!
That always cheered me up seeing my
little ones I used to take care of......I
just need to learn how to cope with the
strong feelings that I get sometimes and
understand it's not time yet...Maybe a few
more yrs...But how I wish it would be the
right time now =(
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