I'm in a relationship, and while it's not
really "troubled" or abusive at all,
there's one issue that we cannot agree on
- her ex.
Firstly, let me state this: she and I are
very much in love, and I trust her. I
plan on spending my life with her, even
though our relationship is only several
months old, and she has expressed her
desire to do the same with me.
However, recently she's began to chat
again with her ex boyfriend. She and he
met online five years ago and had an
internet relationship. Their
relationship progressed and eventually
spread physically and sexually (she lost
her virginity to him).
So, recently I found out (through her)
that she has started role playing with him
- on almost a daily basis. She and he
both are storywrights and she assures to
me that the stories she creates with his
characters (they don't actually role play
themselves, but characters in a
fantasy-based world that she created with
him) are non-sexual and are for the sole
purpose of story making. She even said
she plans on publishing them some day.
Despite this, I have expressed discomfort
to her about doing this. I get jealous
when I know they are role playing. I
asked her to stop finally and she refused.
She on numerous occasions has told me
that she and he would never work together
again, that she loves me, and she only
role plays as a creative outlet.
Furthermore, because she doesn't see it as
a threat to our relationship, she said she
won't stop it, and that this is something
she will not "budge" on. Still,
numerous times i've asked her to stop,
until she eventually got angry with me and
asked me to drop it.
All of the other aspects of our
relationship are normal. We're usually
very agreeable and this honestly is the
only problem. I haven't spoken about it
recently, however when I know she's role
playing with him I get angry and jealous.
I'm naturally insecure and jealous, and
I really don't know what to do.
I don't want to risk getting her angrier
at me by bringing this up. I'd just
like her to stop. Am I right for being
so jealous? Should I confront her about
it again? Should I just try and forget
about it? I really don't know. Any
suggestions would be welcomed.
Thank you for reading. :)
|
Crazyness24
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jan 2006 Posts: 179 Location: Jersey
Posted: 08-10-06 13:20pm
Let me start out by saying your sound like
a great guy. The fact that you know
already you want to spend your life with
her says a lot and she has a great thing
with you.
I can understand because like you, I am
also insecure. I do trust my boyfriend
but im going on 4 years. Truthly, what
she is doing is wrong, and if it bothers
you that much she should stop. I would
explain to her how she would react if you
were doing the same thing to another
girl.If she lost her virginity to him, she
will always have feelings for him. It
doesn't mean she loves him but she won't
want to completely stop talking to him. I
agree, she should respect what you are
saying and stop.You do have every right to
be jelous.
I can't tell you what to do, but if she is
not willing to stop doing this, you need
to take matters into your own hands.
Don't be affraid to upset her more, she
would be upset if it was the other way
around. If she doesn't stop you may have
to end the relationship, I know its tought
because you love her but sometimes you
can't do anything else. Don't lower
yourself and just accept her roleplaying
with him, your too good of a guy for that
and you should know that.
I have been on medication and in therapy
for my insecurities. You may want to
speak to a cousler, it can ruin
relationships. Ive ruined many in my life
not only love but friendships to. You
need to sit down and discuss this with
her. Don't give in. Know your too good
to accept her doing this with another
guy.
Best of luck
