Pregnant And All Alone

((hugs)) you are in a difficult place. You need to look in your heart and decide what it is you want.

I'm not saying you should abort the baby. Nor am I saying you should keep it. However, think about your relationship with your boyfriend. He sounds very controlling. What gives him the right to tell you what you should do with the pregnancy? He was there when the baby was created - he basically made his choice when he chose not to wear a condom. Thjat is a completely other deal.

What if you did get the abortion and he left you anyway? How would that make you feel? There is no guarantee he'll stay with you no matter what you do to 'keep' him.

Think seriously about .Y.O.U and what it is that you want. Be of the opinion that whatever you do he will try to talk you out of it - because it sounds like he is making great attempts to control you. (usually that happens when there is such a dramatic age difference...) if you want the baby, keep the baby. If you don't, then don't. But don't let him influence you.

Oh yeah, child support enforcement doesn't care whether he wants to be involved or not, he will still be legally bound to pay child support.

Good luck.

First up, congratulations on you for keeping your baby and not feeling pressurised by some jerk off to abort. Most losers use the 'i'll support you if you abort' chances are he'll be out of the door as soon as its done he just wants to make you feel secure so you'll do it.
Any man who wants you to abort is not worth caca and doesn't need to be in you or your babies life. My own father told my mum to abort and I haven't ever seen him once.

There are a few single mothers on this forum who I am sure will give you lots of advice. Look through your local phonebook there may be support groups that can help too.

I'm sure you have legal rights at work and your boss can't fire you or anything and if he's nothing but supportive you can sue him for discrimination.

Let your loser boyfriend leave. You'll survive and he'll be missing out on the most precious thing in his life. Good luck girl. You can do it.

I just want to say thank you very much for the suppport. No, he is not controlling and I have never seen this side to him before this, that is why I am so shocked, I did not expect him to react like this at all. Especially cuz at one point he told me he wanted me to have his kids so I am thinking there is somthing he is not telling me. I just want to make the right decision and I think that is to have this baby. I just want to make sure that I am going to be able to make it on my own. My boss would never fire me he loves me like his own, im just worried about what he will think and how it will affect my job because I go out to our client's offices and I dont know how he would take me doing that still because of what they might think. I dont think he would, but you never know. I am just so confused and really scared because I dont want to look at my child everyday and think of him...I guess I just need to hear that "i can do it".

You can do it!

I'm on a similar boat as you. I'm 17, pregnant, and the father isn't part of the pregnancy and won't be part of the babies life (he was trying to control the situation and manipulate me, when he couldn't have things 100 percent his way he refused any responsibility. His attitude now about his child is "i'm not doing anything until the law makes me").


Boys that can do what your boyfriend is doing in hard times like this, will still be the same person and do the same thing in the next hard time. Their thinking only about themselves, and how to get what they want. He should be thinking about you, and what type of toll abortion will take on you and what it is you really want to do. Your boyfriend is 28, and an adult. He should be able to step up and deal with whatever you choose to do, and if he can't do that, then he is just a little boy.


It's so wrong that he's given you an ultimatum. By telling you he'll only provide his support and care if you do what he wants he's proving his love is conditional, and love doesn't work like that. Just remember, the love you and this baby share will be unconditional, it will be amazing. Is that worth to sacrifice for a man who's love is already wavering, who can't stand up and be there for you when you most need it?


Many girls who have had abortions deal with it for years. Think if this is something you could live happily with in the back of your mind. Abortion and keeping the baby aren't the only options, there is adoption. I'm sure adoption will atleast give you the piece of mind that you did the right thing if you decide you are unable to keep the baby where abortion might leave you hurting and full of guilt. This is your choice though, and whatever you end up deciding do it because it's the decision you've made with your heart, not because someone else manipulated you into it. Good luck!

I have been raising my son by myself for the past year and a half. Yes it has been hard, but you can always do anything that you set your mind too. If you had an apartment before you moved back in with him, what says you can't get one again. They have child care partnerships which could help you with childcare for the baby so that you can continue to work, and they always have other programs to help single parents. As for your job, I don't think you should quit just because you are close with your boss, that could actually be a benefit in the long run, if your child was to get sick and you needed a day off or something.

Hope this works out.

And hope you make the decision that is right for you and your individual situation. But don't ever think that you can't do it, because you can do anything you set your mind too.

We all sure did.

Stacie

I agree with everything these girls have said.Do not let anyone tell you what to do with your body! Its your own and its also your baby too,not just his.If he wants to be like that let him,just remind him the money will still be taken out of his checks every month

I definitely agree to all of the girls. You are 18, still young but you can do it! There are plenty of even younger girls at the age of 15,16,17 who managed to have a child in a very young age. I know that you are very confused because you love your boyfriend and as much as possible you don't want to let him go. But I will tell you more and more trials will come your way and he will do that same thing with you again. I suggest you talk to him and have a closure already. Tell him that you want to keep the child and after that, look into his eyes and his reaction and I will guarantee that this will encourage you to leave him.

Let him move out of the house! At least the house is yours. And don't worry about your boss. Tell him the truth and i'm sure he will understand. You said that he is like a father to you. Then i'm guessing that he will understang just like most parents do. He might probably be the one who will support and help you get through this.

And plus your boyfriend, I think is too old to be so coward about having a responsibility of having a child. Some guys are willing to support a baby and work hard at a very young age and yet your bf is 28 and his not willing to do that. Honey, my bf has once told me that "if a guy is man enough to put his penis inside you and enjoy the pleasures of sex, he should be man enough to take care and support a baby". I think that in this case, he isn't. This could only be an indication that he is not really man enough to support you all the way.

Just think of it like this, if you have an abortion. You might feel guilty for a very long time. Will he be really there to comfort you? I would say you and your baby will be happy w/o the father. My cousins grew up nicely w/o even a father's appearance, same thing with my ex bf. Good luck and best wishes to you!