Pregnancy Forum - My Self Esteem....

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Q: My Self Esteem....

asked by: megums1211 on August 16th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Ladies.... I am having a really hard time lately.... I hate being pregnant anymore.... I still have 3 months to go but i'm just tired of being pregnant. My weight gain is out of control.... (40 pounds so far) I thought I was eating ok... But i'm not... My doctor said it's ok b/c my baby girl is growing strong and I don't have ges. Diabetes... But when I look at myself in the mirror everyday, I just feel like crying.... My stretch marks are all the way across my belly now and I just feel so ugly :( some days I know it's worth it b/c I love my little princess so much, I would do anything for her, but now I feel like being this fat is hindering her.... I swore up and down that I wouldn't let myself go during pregnancy but it seems like everytime I smell a cookie, I need one.... I keep promising myself that I won't eat anymore, but then I want chinese takeout, and mexican cuisine, and bagels, and more and more...... I use to love salads but it seems like I can't even look at one now or I feel sick to my stomach..... I have never been so heavy..... This is a record high for me and I feel like i'm so ugly nowadays...... I just want my baby girl to be here already :( I love her so much, but I am worried that my self esteem is going to be so low that i'll get even more depressed :( I need to lose weight.... I want to lose weight... Not just for me, but for my baby girl.. I love her more than anything and I want to be able to take care of her.... But i'm afraid of gaining more weight..... And to make things worse.... My mil is like sickly skinny.. She is like 5'6'' and she only weighs 110 pounds...... And here I am at 5'5'' and I weighing in at over 200 pounds now..... She keeps making hints like "when the baby comes, you could diet" and "kevin (my hubby) you should help her watch what she's eating".... :cry: I feel like the whole world is staring at me.... Before I got married I wore a size 10/12.... Then after wards I was wearing a 16... Now I guarantee i'm up to at least a 20...... Ladies.... I need relief.... I'm so discouraged...... I weigh more than my hubby now :(

thanks for listening, I love you guys :)

Replies(14)

HappyBaby

replied on August 16th, 2006

Experienced User

First off, don't worry about how skinny your mil is - some people are just designed that way.

I know it feels crap to be at your heaviest ever - I was your weight when I was pregnant with my little boy and I did wonder if I would ever lose it but i've got to tell you I lost 14 lbs straight away with the birth and a further 14lbs the following week because I was breastfeeding! Your eating habits will no doubt change once you are no longer pregnant and you can enjoy salads again! Of course you want to eat cookies right now!

The more you fret about how much you are eating, the more you will eat. It's like a feeling of 'oh well i'm fat anyway so I might as well just eat this tub of icecream'.

Stop putting yourself down - you are doing an amazing thing by giving life to a brand new human being and you should go easy on yourself.

(((((big hugs )))))

Bridget

replied on August 16th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Aww... I know exactly how you feel! Before getting pregnant the first time I had done weight watchers and lost 80 pounds and felt great. I swore I would never ever get that big again. I gained 10 pounds with that pregnancy then miscarried and gained 10 more. I was starting weight watchers again when I got pregnant again so I was already up 20 pounds and now i've gained 40 more (and I still have 2 and a half months to go!). I feel disgusting and ugly but my doctor doesn't seem all that concerned and my husband insists i'm still beautiful. Add into this that he just got put on a medication that has decreased his sex drive and even though he tells me it's the pills I can't help but think it's me. I haven't been eating out of control and i'm pretty much eating the way I was when I was not on weight watchers and I never gained anything then so why am I gaining like crazy now? I cut regular soda out and i'm going to eat weight watcher meals for lunch instead of sandwiches. I'm just going to try to limit my weight gain for the rest of my pregnancy and get right back into dieting and exercising like mad as soon as I can after the baby is born. I have no doubt that i'll lose the weight, as i've done it before, but I hate how I feel right now.

Sorry I don't really have anything helpful to say to you, I just wanted you to know i'm in the same boat. I also think hormones have a lot to do with how we're feeling. I'm sure we don't look nearly as hideous as we feel. I ran into a friend yesterday and she was going on and on about how great I look, so who knows. Anyway, hang in there. Do what you can to limit your weight gain for the rest of your pregnancy and know that you'll be losing the weight after your beautiful baby is born! Some people just gain more than others and while no one likes feeling fat it really is worth it in the end!

Bridget

replied on August 16th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Why was this moved to the depression forum? This is totally pregnancy related!!!

megums1211

replied on August 16th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Yeah, i'm kinda mad that this got moved.... I want advice from other pregnant women not people who are depressed! Now i'm pissed off!

Thanks alot ladies :) it's nice to know there are those in the same boat as me :)

Crystal night

replied on August 16th, 2006

New User

Awww,i think pregnant women are beautiful! Don't feel ugly.You should tell your mil to shove it where the sun don't shine and get off you about your weight,its none of her business

HappyBaby

replied on August 16th, 2006

Experienced User

Yeah I was really confused by this being moved because when I started typing my reply i'm sure I was in the pregnancy forum but when I submitted it, suddenly I was in the depression forum! I thought, 'riiiight...I really am going nuts'!

megums1211

replied on August 16th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Why do they move topics? This is definately pregnancy related.....

sandyallen

replied on August 16th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Rule #1 please do not look at yourself in the mirror when you are pregnant and showing unless you are going to think positive, happy thoughts.

Yes, I agree a lot of this is your hormones kicking in!
Your mil and your husband should be more understanding! They are acting worse than kids!
I was overweight most of my life, their was a couple of times that I became thin, one time when I broke-up with my ex-husband and another time when I had stomach cancer and I got real sick and I got down to 95 lbs. As I could not keep anything down and I am big boned tall female and I became so weak, I decided then that I would rather be overweight and more healthy thatn underweight and sickly looking and some of these models look sick, to me.
Don't lose your self esteem and don't let what others say hurt you, I have taken off weight several times and after the baby is born, you will to.
Megums 1211 I bet you are not ugly, I have never seen an ugly pregnant female in my life, probably someone is putting these thoights in your head. We are here for you if you need to talk.
All the best!

jessesgirl

replied on August 16th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I feel the same exact way you do. I too was in a 10/12 and went to a 16 after getting married. I've gained 35 lbs. So far and I have 10 weeks to go. I feel big and fat. Everyone makes comments about my butt and hips b/c they got big too. I love my belly, but my legs, hips, butt, arms, and face are disgusting. My husband doesn't care. He still thinks I look great, but I feel yucky. I don't eat any differently than before and I too have gained more than I should have. My doctor wants me to go on a low carb, low sugar diet. I just can't do it. He fusses every time.

megums1211

replied on August 16th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

My hubby doesn't care. He's not the one saying things... Just his mother does... My hubby tries his best to make me feel good, but I don't believe him sometimes. You ladies are so supportive on here :) thanks for everything :)

Maire2125

replied on September 11th, 2006

Experienced User

I'm only four months and am kinda feeling the same thing. I've already jumped up a pants size. And don't you want to slap your doc when they tell you your gaining fine?? I always tell my doc, "well you don't have to wear it" lol

colleenk

replied on September 11th, 2006

New User

Hi, I just thought maybe this would make you feel better...My whole life ive been "overweight" and after I graduated high school I dropped about 60lbs. I never felt better and swore that I would never gain it back. Well, since I have been with my husband, somehow I gained most of it back!!!And, now im pregnant! Im only 11 weeks and my doc told me that I should gain no more than 15lbs. 15lbs!!! I dont even know how that is gonna be possible when my boobs im sure have already gained that! Im worried, but the thing I keep telling myself is that breast feeding is gonna take off alot! I just hate how people are so quick to judge. Your husbands mom was probably pregnant way back in the time that waists were like 16 inches to begin with, and fast food didnt exist! Ignore her the best you can, because you have more important things to do and be excited about. Congratulations!

Kia

replied on September 11th, 2006

Moderator

Umm this post is in the pregnancy forum.....

Sandbox Party

replied on September 11th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

You know.. I still say iwear a 14 lol (pre pregnancy) I dont count the sizes I gain with beign prego..

And I *too* weigh more than .Rob now. So dont feel bad. We can be moo's together :-)

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