Single Mum Already And Now Pregnant Posted: 08-19-06 09:43am
I am a single mum of 2 already, a 6 yr old
and a 5 yr old, and their dad wont bother
with them to spit me, and now I just found
out I am pregnant, to my last ex, and he
is a social worker, I am white and my 2
kids are white, but this child would be
mixed as my ex is black, so now I am
scared to death and dont know what to do,
as now he said he would see the child once
born now and then, but wont offer no
support in pregnancy, as he now decides we
dont get on. So he now has run for
hills,. Even though he was trying to talk
me into having a child with him when was
was him but I said no, but now it
happened, he has gone, and he has 3 kids
already, a 15 yr old a 13 yr old and a 3
year old, and he is 42. I dont know
whether to keep it, as I made my bed I
should lie in it so to speak or I should
have a adoption.
I am very scared to go through it on my
own and dont know how would cope with
looks of people or getting called a slag
for having white children and a mixed.
Please help me
|
kissofangel20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 May 2006 Posts: 248 Location: ,
Posted: 08-20-06 07:32am
Do not ever ever let what others think
about you be the decideing factor in what
you choose to do...You'll regret it.
Having a baby is a very wonderful thing.
You have to decide for yourself if your
ready to add a 3rd child to the mix and
if your not then adoption is a wonderful
gift you can give a couple and who will
forever be so very grateful. If you'd
like to talk more about adoption just pm
me and i'll answer your questions the best
that I can. But don't rush into anything
take time to weigh the pro's and cons and
see what feels right to you.
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dawn_78
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 5
Posted: 08-20-06 07:37am
Adoption is definately not a option for
me, wouldnt ever consider it. It isnt so
much the looking after as think it is
hard but we can all do it and have done it
2 times. The main 3 factors why I think I
am debating termination is:
1) being lonely and going throu pregnancy
on my own
2) the father running for the hills as he
has so no support
3) having a mixed race child while I have
2 white children and what people would
think of me with no fathers about
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dawn_78
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 5
Posted: 08-20-06 07:43am
Also I dont have no real family support,
so it would be 100% on my own, no one to
take baby for few hours etc, nothing!!
It will be me and kids helping and that is
it, and my ex is a social worker but I can
tell already he wont be on the scene or no
real support, maybe once a week take baby
off me and that is it, but I wouldnt hand
the baby over like that which would make
him not bother aswell
also to help you see my decision is hard,
as also my mum died 2 years ago and that
is hard to deal with, and also my ex who
was with 3 years died 3 wks ago, and that
is also on my plate, and freaked me uout a
little, the nite b4 I found out I was
pregnant I had a dream that I bought my ex
back to life by touching his hand then
next day find out I am pregnant, it
freaked me out, so I got so much to
consider in decision
|
kissofangel20
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 May 2006 Posts: 248 Location: ,
Posted: 08-20-06 08:00am
Ok...So why then would adoption be out of
the question. Most couples want an open
adoption with the birth parents making an
extended family and have them in the
childs life. You would know everything
about this baby and be able to have
contact. I do understand how hard it is
to make a choice as what to do when you
find out that your preg. Just please
don't worry about who is going to say what
about you having a mixed baby and no
daddies. There are quite a lot of women
out there just like you.
|
dawn_78
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 5
Posted: 08-20-06 08:11am
Because one of the reasons I am debating
abortion is because I dont want to go
through the pregnancy alone, so it would
be going a step further going through
pregnancy and then handing my child over
even though I would of gone through the
pain of being pregnancy, the lonliness,
and people seeing me pregnant, to me
he/she would be my blood I would never
give up, it is a case of abortion or keep.
I couldnt cope with seeing someone else
bringing my child up, especially with 2
kids already I think it would be very
unfair for me to give a child up when I
have 2, for a start that child would think
it could of been cause of their colour as
my 2 kids I have kept then give up my
mixed, definately not, so there is 2
options
|
Tsukaira
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2006 Posts: 26 Location: Arizona
Posted: 11-08-06 16:41pm
I don't think the race of the child should
even be a factor in your considerations.
Most people aren't likely to look down
upon your child or you, because he/she is
mixed, while the other children are mixed.
It's becoming more and more accepted in
society today to mix races, and a lot of
people adopt babies even from other
countries and have kids from more than one
father because of how common divorce is
nowadays.
If anyone said something about your child
or judged you, then that's the kind of
person that's obviously shallow and their
opinion shouldn't matter anyway. You
have the right to choose whether or not to
terminate the pregnancy, but please don't
let the race of your baby be a factor in
that decision.
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 11-08-06 17:07pm
My opinion or suggestion is to do what you
feel is the right thing for you to do and
their is an an abortion supprt forum here
if that would help but most of them would
tell you about the same thing, their are a
few people that can be rude but you just
have to ignore them. I do wish you the
best with your decision and you might
think about maybe getting some counseling
if in doubt.
Good luck to you and yours!
|
Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 11-08-06 17:09pm
Old post
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tim_horton
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2006 Posts: 63 Location: Ottawa
Posted: 11-15-06 12:50pm
I know this is an old post. But I just
have to say that I am in disbeleif over
what I just read. The race of the child
is a factor in the decision to abort?
Wow.
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jethani
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 01-23-07 23:53pm
I am a single mum of 2 already, a 6 yr old
and a 5 yr old, and their dad wont bother
with them to spit me
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