Help Me to Help My Boyfriend Posted: 08-20-06 08:38am
My boyfriend is clearly using cocaine (i
have not found the substance yet but I
have found folded business cards) just
today him and I were joking around and it
ended up him smacking me and choking me.
When I looked in his eyes the pupils were
dilated. I realized he has been using
this whole time and the past week it seems
like he does it every day. Unfortunately
I have been in this situation before;
however, I left that person. I do not use
cocaine. I love him but I kind of don't
know how to approach the subject. Today
while he was being abusive I asked him
what did he take and what was he using and
he immediatly left the room and evaded my
questioning. I need to know how I can
help him because I do not want to leave
him I love him but at the same time I
realize he has been doing this our whole
relationship. Right now I am in our
computer room and what I did was created a
new folder in favorites and put his name
on it and I added a whole bunch of cocaine
abuse sites (signs and how to get help).
In the past he has physically put his
hands on me and I do not want him to hurt
me or in the process of defending myself,
hurt him.
|
shadowalker164
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 175 Location: Tampa, FL
Posted: 08-21-06 09:17am
Tdp6000,
let me quote you…”unfortunately I have
been in this situation before; however, I
left that person.”
sugar, that guy that’s smacking you
around in all probability ain’t gonna
get better, ever. He sure as hell ain’t
gonna get better for you! Leave him!
He will pull you down, that is what we do.
We lie, we cheat and we steal in order to
maintain our access to our drug of choice.
And we don’t put the welfare of good
people like yourself in front of our
getting stoned, not ever.
If you want to help him, the only thing
that has a snow balls chance of cutting
through the fog of his addiction, is pain.
And when I say pain, I mean the crushing
and totally devastating kind of total
mental pain that only a hopeless addict or
alcoholic on the skids knows. It is his
only hope. That pain may change his mind
about cocaine, but don’t count on it.
Most of us die drunk and or stoned.
Look after yourself, there is nothing you
can do, or not do that will make so much
as a wit of difference. Cut him loose,
let him fall. That is the only thing you
can do. I suppose you could stick around,
get slapped around some more, then have
him dump you for some other “user
chick” who “understands” him better.
But my advice is, kick his ass to the
curb.
Your friend who understands this deal very
well,
richard
