Hi..Im a 19 year old male. Looking back
at life, I realize I acted like I was gay
without realizing it. In grade 8 I had
virtually no guy friends, but plenty of
friends who were girls... And yet I never
really attempted to do any with any of
them even tho they were attractive. I
wonder was it because I was to nervous, to
immature or perhaps gay.
I played piano as a kid and as I got into
high school I was always involved in band,
and choir. I told myself I did choir
because there was nothing but girls.. But
maybe I was showing homosexual tendencies.
Ive always felt like I was different from
all the other guys, but I thought I was
more mature and down to earth. They were
always suckers to the girls... I tried to
be the nice guy. In high school I was
always afraid to get beat up even though
im a pretty big guy, I wasnt very
aggressive, but I was very health forum
like a girl. Ive been attracted to girls
before, but it seems I would desperately
liek a girl, until she liked me.. Then I
wouldnt like her any more and move on to
the next one. Ive been in 4 situations
where the intention has been to have
intercourse, and in each, there has been
an erection prollem that has made it
impossible.. I get semi hard, enough for
maybe oral but not for satisfying
penetration.. I always had excuses for
these times ie.. Ive had to much to
drink. When I masterbate I think of
women, I look at women in porn, but I am
into anal with women, which leads me to
believe that my true interest is anal with
men, anyways.. Sory for the long post...
Any insight would be appreciated
