Might As Well Be a Single Mom Posted: 08-23-06 11:43am
Posting for my cousin, just wanted to get
some more opinions (sorry it's so long):
my cousin (age 26) has been with a man for
10 years...Pretty much the only man she
has dated, had sex with, etc. She has a
beautiful 5 month old baby boy. Their
relationship has always been somewhat
strange, but now that the baby is involved
she is having a really hard time. They
have a home together but its interesting
because his parents gave a good amount of
money for the down payment (he is an only
child) and they constantly deposit money
into his account. He is not there as a
father, lover or companion, he basically
pays the bills and that's about it
(although at times he will not have money
to give for daycare or other baby
expenses) . He is a volunteer
firefighter, he works full time and makes
the firehouse his other full time job.
He has not spent more then an hour alone
with logan and still has yet to change a
dirty diaper. My cousin is very
lonely...She is just looking for some
affection, some love and attention for
both herself and her son. Her parents
have even welcomed her to move back in
with them. I think this has been a
relationship of convenience for so long
that she is just not sure what to do, but
now that logan is here, she doesn't feel
that it is okay for him to just up and
leave when he feels like it...He doesn't
even sit and have dinner with her. This
isn't even half of it but maybe you can
get the gist. What would you tell her?
Help!
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 08-24-06 06:48am
Just taking a wild guess here.......But
this sounds like a "mamas boy", huge
downpayment, money deposits....Only
child.......Odds are his mama does all the
"womanly duties" and his dad brought home
the "bacon".
This is how he was brought up and this is
what he knows and what he accepts as the
truth......A boy in a mans body?
Now her, did she not see this coming?He
was probably always like this, but now
that their child is here it is a
problem.....................And I do
agree, it is a
problem.....................The child
needs love from both
parents..................But how do you
make someone love someone
else?.....Counselling?But he's gotta want
to go?
I think the only thing you can do and what
your doing already.............Is giving
her moral
support..............................Reall
y, she'll eventually come to the
conclusion
herself...............................
................................And tell
her to get a "pool
boy".............................
.............Your not cheating on someone
who isn't physically or emotionally there
for you or your child. :)
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 08-25-06 14:05pm
She needs to sit down and have a way over
due talk with this man about what his
priorities and reponsibilities are with
his family.She should tell him if he
doesn't straiten out she will look
elswhere for support and love!
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made.
Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
