Abortion Debate Forum - Why Do So Many Women Regret Their Abortions?


Why Do So Many Women Regret Their Abortions?	Join us now!

Medical Questions-> Health Forums -> Abortion Debate -> Why Do So Many Women Regret Their Abortions?

Medical Questions

Author

Message

Jules

Moderator

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 3540
Location: England UK, 'Lights will guide you home...'

Thanks: 3

Thanked:5

Why Do So Many Women Regret Their Abortions? Posted: 08-27-06 14:10pm


I have noticed that a lot of women seem to deeply regret their abortions and I wondered if anyone had any ideas why this is? For example, there is a thread on the 'abortion support' board which was started a few months ago by a lady contemplating aborting her twins. This thread has recently been updated by someone who knows that she did indeed go through with the abortion and feels awful about it. The lady who had the abortion has posted on another site about her feelings; I know this because I regularly look at the site. It is a wonderful website actually and offers a lot of support to women who have had abortions. This particular story got me thinking though because so many women seem to regret their abortions and say, 'i want my baby back'. Why is this? Is it society making them feel guilty? Is it just easy to put on rose tinted spectacles and say 'i want my baby back' because they know that that can never happen? I'd be interested to hear anyone's opinions on this.

diamondsz

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 2843
Location: , Candyland-Canada

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-27-06 15:07pm


<purest> i believe it is society that makes them feel bad/guilty, when I got preggo at 17 and had a miscarriage I had people making me feel bad just for that. Every church down here has signs that abortion is bad, what right do they have to tell us what is right or wrong they are not justice (driving bmw and being to make donations is far from justice.) anyways, the other reason some people feel bad is because they get abortions for the wrong reason and realize what they could of had or with some woman are actually scared, fear when t hey see other children on the fact they think they will be haunted.

diamondsz

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 2843
Location: , Candyland-Canada

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-27-06 15:13pm


On another note... I just read that other post you were referring to and I really believe they should make sure the woman wants an abortion 100% before doing it. I wish they hand out pamphlets when a woman goes on abortion, adoption and where a woman could get help if she wants to keep it, I think they should be abit more proactive!

Tylanas

Especially EHEALTHy

Joined: 13 Jul 2005
Posts: 12988

Thanks: 2

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-27-06 21:17pm


Please remember that the people you see on this site are not a true represtentation of the actual population and opinions of women who abort. Truth is, most women do not regret aborting. Might they still feel sad for having to do it? Of course, this is a natural feeling to have. But, they do not hate themselves or wish it could be undone. Most women who abort regret becoming pregnant, not aborting.

Cambion

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 719
Location: Earth

Thanks: 1

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-27-06 22:58pm


Not all women regret their decision. Have you ever seen www.Imnotsorry.Net before? It's a place where anonymous women post their stories of their positive abortion experiences. But in this child-centric world, women are made to feel guilty and shameful because retarded catholic zealots or fundies whine that "babies are god's precious miracles", which gets into the whole "abortion is homicide" thing, and so forth. People give women a hard time no matter what they do - if she aborts, she's evil. If she has a child, people say she's a bad mother for not giving her child a sibling. If she's a stay-at-home mother, people will say she's lazy. If she's a working mother, people say she's neglecting her kids. The fact is that a lot of people hate women and they do their best to make us suffer because, to these people, we are still the inferior ones. Since they haven't taken away our right to abortion yet, the best they can do in terms of nonviolence is guilt trip us about aborting, miscarrying, etc. Sometimes I really am ashamed to be a human.

Jules

Moderator

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 3540
Location: England UK, 'Lights will guide you home...'

Thanks: 3

Thanked:5

Posted: 08-28-06 06:32am


Cambion, in what way do you feel that society still treats women as second class citizens? I'm thinking of my own life and I received schooling until I was 18 years old and then I went to university - there were certainly no barriers placed in front of me for that. Any jobs I have had I have never been made to feel inferior. Have I just been really lucky? The only time I have been belittled and looked down upon is by other women when I tell them that I have chosen to be a stay at home mum and that I absolutely love it. They treat me like i'm some sort of thicko who has 'given up' my life to raise a sprog. Surely women should be allowed to choose to do whatever they want with their lives and not just do what is seen as socially trendy at the time. Just to clarify, this is not a dig at you, cambion, I am genuinely interested to know your opinions on this subject.

Cambion

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 719
Location: Earth

Thanks: 1

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 09:59am


In terms of college education, purestgreen, a good indicator that women are still considered second-class in some senses is that a woman with a bachelor's degree makes a little more than half of what a man with a bachelor's degree makes in terms of income. Women do have rights, unlike a few hundred years ago, but there are still people out there who feel a woman's only rightful place is in the kitchen slaving over a hot stove and with a litter of kids straddling her ankles. Don't get me wrong - not all people do this, but the fundamentalists live for it. These are the people who say women don't belong in the workforce, career women make the worst wives, and so forth. Also, have you noticed that women who seek sterilization are given a much harder time about it than men? This is because women are seen as being too young or silly to know what they really want and that they'll all want kids someday, whereas when a man wants the big snip, there's less nonsense to deal with. Maybe this isn't really an issue of women being second-class, but one of people trying to keep women "in their rightful place", which is with as little choice as possible and to inevitably become mothers.

Meandering Away

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Jul 2005
Posts: 535

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 10:21am

cambion wrote:

in terms of college education, purestgreen, a good indicator that women are still considered second-class in some senses is that a woman with a bachelor's degree makes a little more than half of what a man with a bachelor's degree makes in terms of income. Women do have rights, unlike a few hundred years ago, but there are still people out there who feel a woman's only rightful place is in the kitchen slaving over a hot stove and with a litter of kids straddling her ankles. Don't get me wrong - not all people do this, but the fundamentalists live for it. These are the people who say women don't belong in the workforce, career women make the worst wives, and so forth.

Also, have you noticed that women who seek sterilization are given a much harder time about it than men? This is because women are seen as being too young or silly to know what they really want and that they'll all want kids someday, whereas when a man wants the big snip, there's less nonsense to deal with.

Maybe this isn't really an issue of women being second-class, but one of people trying to keep women "in their rightful place", which is with as little choice as possible and to inevitably become mothers.

where did you get your information from cambion I would be interested to see your proof of this because over here woman are not treated like that we have a law in place to stop that, has for sterilization are you having a laugh, I have tried that route and I need to have my wifes signature before they would go on with the operation.Maybe you need to find a more civilised place to live.

lil_blaze2004

Supporter

Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 6492
Location: ,

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 10:27am


I honestly only have one friend (out of about 8 who have had) who regreted her abortion and she only got it to make her boyfriend happy. The others all were fine with their choice. Since it was their choice and no one elses.

Jules

Moderator

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 3540
Location: England UK, 'Lights will guide you home...'

Thanks: 3

Thanked:5

Posted: 08-28-06 12:09pm

cowboys wrote:

as for sterilization are you having a laugh, I have tried that route and I need to have my wifes signature before they would go on with the operation

my god! It's like she owns your nuts or something! I'm shocked!

Moo

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 943
Location: London

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 12:11pm

purestgreen wrote:

cowboys wrote:

as for sterilization are you having a laugh, I have tried that route and I need to have my wifes signature before they would go on with the operation

my god! It's like she owns your nuts or something! I'm shocked!

wow I agree, that's crazy...It's your body, if you wanted it done then it's your decision.

sandyallen

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4581

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 15:55pm


I feel some of it could be the hormones or the void or they might see a little baby cute and smiling for even those that did not have a choice sometimes get emotional but most of the one's I know are pretty much okay with it as their will always be different types of people.

Moo

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 943
Location: London

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 16:06pm


To the original question i'd say that regret comes from not being 100% sure of the decision/being coerced etc... But the vast majority of women do not - even those who are sad following don't necessarily regret their decision.

diamondsz

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 2843
Location: , Candyland-Canada

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 17:21pm


Any man can get fixed down here no signatures... Cambion I agree with the majority that you say woman are still looked upon as inferior beings, I work in a call center(tech support) and will actually have men refuse to talk to me because im a woman because woman are not good technicians. I have more expierence than the guys and have owned my own buisness, as for tech support im ranking in top 20 in my office for cs/knowledge but I still get men berating me. I also get get little smirky comments about how im not giving my children enough love and that is why my child is a lil brat so yes it is true, I have actually been called a promiscuous person because I have two kids at 22 but im married and had both kids after marriage. For that I believe in equality and I voice my opinion, I dye my hair red, I dress like a teen, but that doesnt make me a bad mother screw the catholic zealots who dont even know there own religion. "god said thou shall not judge" so why are woman not priests? I will never ever listen to a catholic zealot man there overboard and if they were so catholic they should be wearing veils, did you know muslim/catholic are almost 85% the same...

sandyallen

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 4581

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 17:24pm


I also believe what .Eiri said is true!

Tylanas

Especially EHEALTHy

Joined: 13 Jul 2005
Posts: 12988

Thanks: 2

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 17:38pm

purestgreen wrote:

cowboys wrote:

as for sterilization are you having a laugh, I have tried that route and I need to have my wifes signature before they would go on with the operation

my god! It's like she owns your nuts or something! I'm shocked!

the doctors ptobably need the wife's permission, because "what if I want to have more babies in the future! You'll be stealing my chances!" which is really, really dumb. A man should have as much right over his boyd as a woman has over hers. A woman can "deny" her husband children by getting her tubes tied - oh wait no she can;t since doctors think that every woman on the planet wants to pop out a baby before the age of 30. See how stupid this all is? It's all about making babies.

coughburp

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 28 Aug 2006
Posts: 9

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 19:33pm


I think some women regret having an abortion because they weren't properly educated on the aftermath of such a procedure and they weren't 100% sure it is what they wanted (did it because of bf or family). I don't think most women regret having an abortion. It isn't a decision you come up with overnight, you have to think it through and it can cause pain with lots of stress. Many decisions you go through in life are hard: divorce, joining the military or taking a loved one off life support. You have to do what is best for you and I believe most women who have abortions have this mindset of doing what is best for them.

nightangel73

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 2266
Location: North Carolina

Thanks: 3

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 20:54pm


Going to the original post I think that what happens is think about it, becoming pregnant is one of women's deepest desires in life. I am dying to have a baby myself and I get so jealous of all my friends becoming pregnant. Why women are terrified that they are infertile, terrified their biological clocks ticking. Women want and dream to be moms (except cambion of course hehe). Think about it. It is bizarre to desire to end a pregnancy.

Cambion

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 719
Location: Earth

Thanks: 1

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 22:05pm


Something I wonder is, of all the women who say they can't wait to have a baby, how many of them have been brainwashed into thinking they need to have a baby to be a real adult, a real american, and a real woman? I've read horror stories of people who went and spawned because "it's what adults do" or their friends talked them into it, and they ended up hating their lives and resenting their children and spouses. Americans just have this fantasy vision in their mind that the perfect american family is a husband, wife, and two children, and that puts a huge burden on all women. More often than we think, the weak women succumb to this pressure and spawn. Deep down, they may have been childfree, or they find out too late they dislike children or would make horrible parents. Now i'm not saying that all people who want kids are delusional, because there are actually good parents out there. But no one can deny that there are women in this country who have been brainwashed by all manner of friends, family, the media, and pro-lifers to make babies under any circumstances.

Jules

Moderator

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 3540
Location: England UK, 'Lights will guide you home...'

Thanks: 3

Thanked:5

Posted: 08-29-06 02:31am


I'm not sure how much of it is 'brainwashing' and how much is the natural instinct to pass on genetic material. It is more a case of 'brainwashing' for women to be told they don't need children because the former is a biological instinct and the latter is a creation of society. Of course, as humans, we like to think we have evolved past our 'animal instincts' but sadly, the reality is quite different.