Pregnancy Q and A Forum - Waiting Patiently And Sadly


Waiting Patiently And Sadly

Medical Questions-> Health Forums -> Pregnancy Q and A -> Waiting Patiently And Sadly

Medical Questions

Author

Message

FreckleFace

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 48

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Waiting Patiently And Sadly Posted: 08-28-06 22:01pm


So guys...I could possibly have gotten pregnant by my boyfriend. If I did, it was prob. When I was most fertile around the 13th of august, give or take a few days b/c I am irregular...My last period was july 30th...So I should be getting af around the 1st of september hopefully not...Was my first initial thoughts..I really want a child. I am so deep in love and have never had a really tight family and I love children. I know I should finish college before I even attempt to get pregnant, nad settle down and save more money b/c I know it is a very expensive thing to have. Lol. I just am not on bc...Even though I say I will get on it all the time, I fail to. So my bf cam in me or pre-ejaculated.....He does not use condoms..So it is a very high chance I just may be. But I just found out my bf mother thinks it would be "unexusable" if I were to get pregnant at a young age (18-25) she thinks we use protection. Also, my sister who is 20yrs old......Is 4 months pregnant and this will make it even more difficult for me to be happy if I really am and it actually scares me if I really am b/c she hasnt even told the family and I think 2 pregnancy will be a heartattack for my family...Not to mention my b/f mother who is 61 i just want to be deep down but sadly, after all of these posts and hoping..If I am..I feel my only option would be an abortion eve nthough I really dont want to. Gosh. Yes. Sorry to offend you all. Im just so worried now. My breasts hurt hurt hurt. I feel and have been feeling very light cramping on and off about 2 weeks ago, and very weird twinges in my side and pains that last....Been very extremely tired, more so then I have ever been.....Have een bloated for about 4 weeks. And I have a cold all of a sudden, sore throat and stuffy noes and dark circles under my eyes. No appetite.... What do you guys think I should do. Prego test is too ealry w/ my af around hte corner

arcadia

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 4462
Location: Illinois,

Thanks: 1

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-28-06 22:18pm


Wait until the day you're supposed to start &test that day with first morning urine. You don't have to get an abortion, nor should you get one. It isn't your only choice just because you're young. How old are you? I'm young, too. 19. &.I'm pregnant. It's hard, but .I know it's going to be worth it. If you want your baby, don't even think about abortion. It's your body, you baby, your life, your choice.

FreckleFace

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 48

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Looking Through Archives
Posted: 08-29-06 00:46am

ingi wrote:

arcadia wrote:

yeah, we have a lot of sinus medications at my house, but.. I'm not sure what's safe to take &.I don't want to risk it anyway. It's just getting so beyond annoying.

i believe sudafed is the only thing pregnant women can take. But check with your doctor on that.

It is a common pregnancy complaint to have a stuffy nose. The blood is due to having increased blood volume in your body at this time. This is the same reason you may also have bloody gums when you brush your teeth.

Neither are reasons to be concerned. It is annoying though!!

i was reading this and it occured to me I have been very congested for a week or so and I am never congested like this or randomly sick ( sore throat, groggy feeling) also, if I am prego, that might explain why the last 2 times this past month that I ended up drinking I was a crying, emotional drunk? Because of prego hormones? Idk...I dont drink often but wen I do this has never happened.

Plus I have had about 3 nose bleeds this month and I blamed them on my stuffy nose.....

Arggh..Idk I hope I am :o) I should be sleeping though, I am very, very, tired...

Jules

Supporter

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 3539
Location: England UK, 'Lights will guide you home...'

Thanks: 3

Thanked:5

Posted: 08-29-06 04:04am


I don't think you should pay any attention to what your boyfriend's mum has to say. I mean, who the hell is she to say that you getting pregnant would be 'inexcusable'? You need to do what's right for you. If you want to be pregnant (and you obviously do) then go for it but if you have any doubts at all then please use b/c. Creating a baby is not a game - it is a life and you shouldn't even be thinking of abortion if you have purposely created this life.

kissofangel20

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 07 May 2006
Posts: 248
Location: ,

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 05:22am


Yes but guys if you read the whole post wanting a baby because your own family sucks isn't a reason to get preg. How fair is it to that baby to lay those probs on it from the start. I'm by no means saying that abortion is the answer. I think that you need to go to your local family planning center and talk with one of their counselors. No one here has the right training to give you the help that you need to cope with this and to decide what you need to do if you are preg. Having a baby should be wonderful and exciting. But you also have to feel that your ready for such a huge responaiblity. Please go and talk with someone who is qualified to help you.

tululabell

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 256
Location: michigan

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 06:15am


I thought the same thing about wanting a baby because you don't have a good family, that isn't a good reason. But if it is what you really want and you can have a baby and take care of it then you should be happy! Don't listen to his mom, I say as long as you are out of high school you are good to go! Of course as long as you are at least a little prepared. Just because she has in her head that before 25 is too young does not mean that you aren't ready before that, she doesn't have the choice, you do. But, you don't even know for sure yet so try not to stress too much until you miss your period, good luck!

FreckleFace

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 48

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 07:06am

purestgreen wrote:

i don't think you should pay any attention to what your boyfriend's mum has to say. I mean, who the hell is she to say that you getting pregnant would be 'inexcusable'? You need to do what's right for you.

If you want to be pregnant (and you obviously do) then go for it but if you have any doubts at all then please use b/c. Creating a baby is not a game - it is a life and you shouldn't even be thinking of abortion if you have purposely created this life.

all of you are absolutely right.
I know I pretty much said that is why I wanted a baby, b/c of my family history...But honestly, that is not why,

yopu are right it is not a game and I think having a baby is the most amazing most beautiful thing. I would love to give up all the little joys I could have in life and pretty much the world to be a mom. I think it is wonderful that by nature, it isn't " me, me, me" anymore but instead about a child...Who needs you to care for them.

So I do want a child and I know that I am responsible, and so is my boyfriend and we both do love eachother very much. It was just disappointing to know his mother would not be as excited as us..Or undertamd that we both knew I could get pregnant so if I get pregnant im taking responsibilities for my actions, to abort after the knowledge I have about pregnancy would be immature and unfair.

Melissa_20

Especially EHEALTHy

Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 07:07am


I see nothing wrong with erh wanting a baby cause her family sucked.So what if she wants a family of her own,why do others get pregnant? Cause they want a familt of their own(unless it was unplanned).Your mil has no business knowing if you guys use a condom or not and its none of her business if you do wind up preggo.If it makes you happy go for it!

FreckleFace

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 48

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 07:09am

melissa_20 wrote:

i see nothing wrong with erh wanting a baby cause her family sucked.So what if she wants a family of her own,why do others get pregnant? Cause they want a familt of their own(unless it was unplanned).Your mil has no business knowing if you guys use a condom or not and its none of her business if you do wind up preggo.If it makes you happy go for it!

why thank you melissa.

Jules

Supporter

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 3539
Location: England UK, 'Lights will guide you home...'

Thanks: 3

Thanked:5

Posted: 08-29-06 08:32am

freckleface wrote:

I would love to give up all the little joys I could have in life and pretty much the world to be a mom.

just wanted to say, yes you do have to make changes in your life when you become a mum but it can bring you greater joys than you ever imagined before. I never knew I could love someone so much until I had my son. It's a different kind of love than you have for anyone else; it's all consuming and just wonderful.

Gush over... :-)

Melissa_20

Especially EHEALTHy

Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 09:10am

freckleface wrote:

why thank you melissa.

your welcome!

Cambion

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 719
Location: Earth

Thanks: 1

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 09:41am


There is no right or wrong decision here, but I must ask if you would really want to drop out of college for a kid. You're in the process of building a life so you can support yourself in the future, and it is in jeopardy from your pregnancy. But if you're comfortable with throwing away the money you've spent thus far on your education to be a mother, then that's your call. No one can tell you what to do - not me, not anyone here, not your boyfriend, and not your family. You're faced with a fork in the road, and you must choose the path you wish to take. All I ask is you please bear in mind how much work children are and how much they cost. Kids aren't toys and they will change your life drastically, permenantly, and not always in a positive way. And as much as some people probably wish they did, kids don't come with return receipts, so there's no giving it back when you're tired of four a.M. Feedings, soiled diapers and incessant screaming. Here is what I suggest. Whip out a sheet of paper, list all your options (parenthood, abortion, adoption), and write the pros and cons of each one. Look at your list, and then try to envision what your life will be like in each scenario. After deep thought, try to decide what option is best for you. I can't tell you what is best because what may be best for me may not be best for you. Good luck.

JamieHickman

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 29 Aug 2006
Posts: 6
Location: Arlington, Tx

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 14:34pm


Hi. I'm new to this whole forum thing and your post got ot me. I know yout in college, and think your pregnant, but its a beautiful thing. God planned this for you, and the rest of us. Im 19 and was in college, i'm 9 weeks pregnant. But the thing is when I was 17 yrs old, the week befor I started my senior year I found out I was pregnant! I was in shock, my ex b/f said abortion, all the time I refused!!! But I gave in after 3 1/2 months! I regret it every day! It is horrible feeling! To think a/b how old he'd be right now, and how he could walk.....And talk, please- think a/b this. I know you may feel optionless or hopeless, but there are options and hope, think of this...All these girls in here have replyed to you...Wanting to help, we care! And you b/f's mom will get over it. I promise! But please think hard! Befor you do anything!

megums1211

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 870
Location: Ohio

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 20:23pm


I am 27weeks now and I am so happy about having my own family to replace what I had... I grew up with a diagnosed obsessive compulsive and he is a big part in why I wanted my own family... I felt like I needed to give myself a family with sanity. I see nothing wrong with wanting a family to make up for what you didn't have when you were growing up.

Sandbox Party

Especially EHEALTHy

Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 7279

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-29-06 20:51pm


Freckle face... Not to be rude... But you dont seem to know what u want... First you say you want to be pregnant.. That you want this child... But then you say if you are pregnant your only option would be abortion.. That doesnt make any sense. Why get rid of something you so desperately want?

FreckleFace

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 48

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Xcjfiosdffjer09tu65 Nfv,fegmr Msl Okokokokokok Posted: 08-30-06 08:00am


First off..My post showed you that I obv. Want a child and that yes I am in a happy relationship and in love, and he would be there. That is what matters the most, support from my boyfriend and he and I both will and know this is serious and we would have to do our best and take responsibility. I know though if it doesnt work out between he and i, that I must be there for my child and as many of you are single parents I have read and I also know how hard it would be..I have friends who got pregnant young etc....So that isnt the issue. At the moment I am just going over how to tell my parents, and his mom who I always thought would support me....Doens't mean I want to give my child up b/c it would be a difficult coversation with these people....Just that I always imagined this amazing congratulations and people were happy about it. Now that my sister is pregnant, I think it is a lot to hear that 2 of your daughters are pregnant...As a father... You see what I mean. "but sadly, after all of these posts and hoping..If I am..I feel my only option would be an abortion" not litterally, I mean't as much as I want this little one if I am prego.....At this time I feel as though no1 else really will want to deal with me b/c of everything going on. I am aware of how "expensive " a child is. But if you knew me, you would know that money is not anything to me.....So if I were to get pregnant and I hope I am, that college would get put on hold but I would not and do not think children are a burden so to me, I would not be throwing away my education...Im a cna and work in retail 2 jobs...So I work 40+ hours a week. I have my foot in the door and a child will make me work even harder to get a better job and get into nursing. Everyone always asumes that if your young and have a baby your a teenager who is on wic and the babydaddy left. And that they are this statistic and screwed up in life. I think life and amazing thing and I live everyday as it comes and who knows what will happen the next I live for peacce love nad happiness and I know that childbearing is a natural thing and in this world many people are too busy working their life away to stop and appreciate the amazing gifts that come in mysterious ways. Basically. To end all the posts if I am pregnant, I will let you know. If not ill end the posts. And continue schooling. If I am, I hope you guys can answer my q's and be there for me as a forum!!!! K ttyl thanks for all the responces

Moo

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 943
Location: London

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-30-06 08:36am


How much longer do you have left in college? Would it be so terrible to wait until you'd finished to get pregnant (if you're not already)? I'm just asking because it's seems like you want this to have happened yesterday and, whilst maternal urges play a part in wanting children, shouldn't you want to be in a slightly more stable position before bringing a child into the world (i.E finished college so your education is complete). Your fertility isn't going anywhere for some time. You shouldn't have a child simply because you want one, that's selfish and, if planning to have a child (i.E wanting to get pg and not preventing it or actively ttcing) then you should be in a position that's good for the child, so that finances aswell as the relationship are stable. If money is "nothing to you" is it going to continue to be when you can't work 40+ hours a week? A child will make your studying more difficult. They wont make it impossible but college is difficult enough when you only have yourself to look after! Sorry for replying when it's obvious you became uncomfortable with the questions posed to you but I was just curious about the above.

FreckleFace

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 48

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-30-06 11:47am

moo wrote:

how much longer do you have left in college? Would it be so terrible to wait until you'd finished to get pregnant (if you're not already)? I'm just asking because it's seems like you want this to have happened yesterday and, whilst maternal urges play a part in wanting children, shouldn't you want to be in a slightly more stable position before bringing a child into the world (i.E finished college so your education is complete). Your fertility isn't going anywhere for some time.
You shouldn't have a child simply because you want one, that's selfish and, if planning to have a child (i.E wanting to get pg and not preventing it or actively ttcing) then you should be in a position that's good for the child, so that finances aswell as the relationship are stable. If money is "nothing to you" is it going to continue to be when you can't work 40+ hours a week? A child will make your studying more difficult. They wont make it impossible but college is difficult enough when you only have yourself to look after!

Sorry for replying when it's obvious you became uncomfortable with the questions posed to you but I was just curious about the above.

yes. I am saying all of you are right.

But I didnt want to explain my finacial situation, which is very good. My boyfriend is in college and will be making a caca load of money in about less then a year....I will not mind if he pays attention to his studies instead of working and I love working and I am able to balance a busy lifestyle, that is the type of person I am. I have saved money and can support the child. I know I am only a cna but as a young girl who just started college (3 more years left) a cna is good money to me, most of the teenage girls I know are not working at a hospital as a nurse tech. Making 14-15 an hour but at mcdonalds or some store at the mall for $7.50 or they dont have a job, the men do all the work and they are on wic. I also have a 2nd job that pays %8.50 and I got this b/c I wanted to save money and I also have a puppy. So I think things through, and if I can't work that much any longer and I may have to quit one job...Then maybe then my bf can help out or I can get a babysitter.Altough both of our families are wealthy that is why I did not expect such negitive reactions on their part. We are good kids and are in love, so yes we should have used protection more often then not, but if I am pregnant, all I ask is they accept it and not make it hard for me while I am already thinking of all the hardships and college issues it will bring up. What I meant by saying I feel my only option is an abortion and "not to be rude" but almost all of you give or take melissa (lol) is making me feel unworthy, guilty, and ashamed that 1. I have not 100% thought it through, and that 2. I may hold off on finishing school and 3. That I am not ready. Thoose are what im afraid my family will do and that is saying think of other options ie. Abortion or adoption.

And on that note. No I will never give up a child b/c I had no family, I know what it is like and I was adopted.

Sooooooooooo I dont know anymore. This forum upset me.After all of this I just wish I never wrote on this forum and I feel like I should just forget it and hope im not pregnant.

So

Sandbox Party

Especially EHEALTHy

Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 7279

Thanks: 0

Thanked:0

Posted: 08-30-06 12:39pm


Well, sorry on behalf of the forum for upsetting u and/or offending you. But you still dont make any sense. Why intentionally bring a child in this world if you feel that the pressure of raising one and dealing with your busy life would only lead to abortion? And yes, dear... When you intentionally dont use protection, thats getting pregnant on purpose. You knew what could happen. You obviously have no idea how to handle your life. If you had a clue at all you wouldnt be so indecisive and worried about what others thought. Its your life. Not theirs. My advice to you if you arent pregnant... Focus on growing up and becoming an able adult, capable of making decisions based on the best interests of themselves and their children, instead of a child that cares only what others think before taking a step down a road thats too rocky for the shoes you are wearing.

Jules

Supporter

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Posts: 3539
Location: England UK, 'Lights will guide you home...'

Thanks: 3

Thanked:5

Posted: 08-30-06 12:50pm


Freckle, don't be upset by this forum and what people who are strangers to you have to say. The problem is, when you post on a public forum, you basically give everyone the right to give their opinion and it isn't always what you want to hear. It can be hurtful. At the end of the day only you truly know your situation and whether or not you are ready for a baby. Do what you feel is right for you. Good luck!