Hi, I am 22 years old and am really
worried. I have a 4 year old daughter in
another state about 2 and a half hours
away. I am currently in college and have
about 2 years left to graduate. I went
home to visit my daughter a while back and
while I was home I slept with someone who
I was engaged to a few years back (not my
daughter's mom). It was a big mistake
and wasnt planned or anything. I just
found out that she is pregnant and she
wants to keep the baby. Neither of us
are in the position to support a child, or
in my case another child. I really dont
want to be in the same situation I am with
my daughter now. I want to be with the
next person who has my child. I cannot
go back home and finish my schooling, but
if I dont then I wont be there as I should
be for my child. Also, due to religious
beliefs, the woman will not live with
anyone till she marries. I really dont
know what to do! This was a mistake on
both our parts, but it just seems like i'm
going to end up paying the most for it!
If anyone has had a similar experience
please help or atleast give advice!
Thanks
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
Posted: 01-21-04 19:03pm
This is a tricky one! Im sure u feel like
this has kinda ruined ur plans cos ur in
college & seem 2 have ervything sorted
but,since the woman has decided 2 keep the
child,u need 2 decide exactly what ur
gonna do b4 its born.
R u really gonna drop ur education?
Because u can b a father & have that
as well but I guess u want 2 move near
this woman & ur daughter.Im not being
funny but it doesnt seem right that a
woman who's not married & sleeps with
some1 can really think it bad to then move
in with that person! It seems that u need
2 make arrangements 4 what will happen
such as where u will live & where she
will live.If u were once engaged to thsi
woman & you've slept 2gether &
therefore have feelings for each other,do
u think theres a chance u will get back
2gether?
I know ur probably feeling in a real mess
right now but i'm sure u will sort things
out just dont give up ur dreams in the
mean time.
Best wishes 2 u
liz
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lee25
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2003 Posts: 1018 Location: new york
Re; Worried And Need Help Posted: 01-22-04 02:02am
I agree with sparkypixie, the girl is
religious enough not to want to move in
until she is married. But she is noe
that religious when it comes to sleeping
around, that doesn't make sense. I
commend and respect you for wanting to do
the right thing and be by her. But your
schooling is also important, it will be
that degree tat will help you better to
support your children. Personally I
think she just probably wants you to
commit to her now that she is pregnant.
I understand that it will be hard being
away from another child, but you said it
two hours away, try and visit every
weekend. If you care about her enough to
quit shcool than good luck. If I may be
honest I would be very careful, some girls
are devious and she could just be finding
a way to trap you. Make sure the baby is
your first, now I don't mean go and
disrespect her and call her names. But
if your thinking about making a chioce
that is going to change your future at
least make sure that the kid is yours.
Good luck.
It's nice to read about a guy with
concerns.
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Guest
Guest
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Belief Or Not? Posted: 01-22-04 09:00am
I agree it seems pretty wierd that she
wouldn't move in togather
unless married but have casual sex? And
unprotected even if she did know you
before.
Did she have this belief before?
Do you love each other?
It sounds like ur willing to be a father
and be closer but I get warning signs
to from what you wrote.
Iam a little mixed up on her stand.
Is she more so looking for marriage?
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kicker0927
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2004 Posts: 5
Worried And Need Help! Posted: 01-22-04 10:40am
She and I have a past together, yes. We
lived together for a couple years when
engaged, but that was about 3 years ago.
Since then she has taken some wrong turns
in her life and now she is very religious.
Like I said we both made a mistake when
this happened. She was very upset that
she let herself do it as was i. She has
a family history of endometriosis and her
doctor had always told her she didnt have
much of a chance of getting pregnant (esp.
On birth control). She had a
miscarriage once and an aborted once (both
not by me). She refuses to abort again,
she hated doing that. Anyways, so she
quit taking birth control oct. 31 (she
wasnt going to have sex till married) then
nov. 31 she had period. We had sex on
dec. 21 and she didnt have her period.
She bought a home test and tested
positive. She is not really looking to
marry right now. We still have feelings
for each other. Im really confused on
what to do right now!
