Husband Is Impotent / Watchs a Lot of Porn-all Men Please Posted: 08-31-06 18:41pm
My husband has a can't get erect and he
has tried viagra, gave him bad headaches
and blurred his vision. One day I came
home and caught him watching porn and
masterbating. I was pissed and hurt.
You see, we have been together for 5 years
and after we get married we hardly ever
have sex. Viagra doesn't seem to work
that great now and he goes in and out of a
erection. He watchs a lot of porn and
99% of it is guys getting blow jobs.
Tell me, is that normal to watch 99% of
porn with guys getting blow jobs? He is
so hard to talk to about it because it
does hurt him, but he doesn't really see
what he is doing to me. Please guys
answer to this. I am misserable and wake
up every night feeling crappy!
Lady12
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pauly boy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Aug 2006 Posts: 85 Location: florida
So Sorry 4 U.xx Posted: 08-31-06 18:47pm
Well,bet u feel like hes cheating,ha.
Whats up with him?
He is looking at all those people having
sex and masturbating and you are not
getting any?
How faithfull are you?
Would you with another man?
Cos tell you what if I was you I would be
totally f****d off.
Threaten him that if he does not stop it
then,its the computer or me.
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lady12
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2006 Posts: 15 Location: n/a
Husband Is Impotent / Watchs a Lot of Porn-all Men Please Posted: 08-31-06 19:01pm
Yes I do feel like he is cheating and I
tell him that and he doesn't agree!! I
did tell him not to watch it or I go. He
says he doesn't but I have seen it on his
computer, he doesn't know I look. I saw
one yesterday and he said it was old and
he deleted it insantly.
He has a big thing to watch blow jobs...Is
that normal? Why would you want to see a
guys hard on?????
Lady12
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j1215n
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 3 Location: usa
Posted: 09-05-06 18:37pm
Me personally, to stop watching porn for a
while.... Read the bible or something.
Maybe he needs something like a new hobby.
Does he play any sports? It might even
be like some type of disorder and might
need some theropy. They say admitting it
is the first step to recovery. My problem
was I had to much time on my hands. For
me it was like an antidepressent cure for
my soul.When I was sad and stuff. Like
getting high its almost an escape or a fat
person goes to fast food.They would like
to loss weight but they love the greezy
foods and can't stop. Also what I do is
not stop completly but try my best to hold
out as long as possible. Its not easy to
just quit all together. Thats like taking
away ciggerates, coffee or even candy and
choclate away forever. Some people just
have that sweet tooth.We know it hurts us
but we still do it.
Hope this brings some idea's im new here
so i'm no doctor but just from experence.
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brynda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2006 Posts: 10 Location: meigs, ga colquitt
Re: Husband Is Impotent / Watchs a Lot of Porn-all Men Pleas Posted: 09-05-06 18:52pm
lady12
wrote:
my husband has a can't get
erect and he has tried viagra, gave him
bad headaches and blurred his vision.
One day I came home and caught him
watching porn and masterbating. I was
pissed and hurt. You see, we have been
together for 5 years and after we get
married we hardly ever have sex. Viagra
doesn't seem to work that great now and he
goes in and out of a erection. He
watchs a lot of porn and 99% of it is guys
getting blow jobs. Tell me, is that
normal to watch 99% of porn with guys
getting blow jobs? He is so hard to
talk to about it because it does hurt him,
but he doesn't really see what he is doing
to me. Please guys answer to this. I
am misserable and wake up every night
feeling crappy!
Lady12
hello mrs.Lady12, I for one do beleive
that your husband has a little...Well I
don't know what size but he has a problem.
My diagnosis is that he is exploring the
concept of homosexuality. Im no doctor
and this is just my way of interpreting
your situation. Who knows maybe he is
doing it for his own personal reasons but
I personally enjoy the finer concepts as
in: doggy style and kama sutra.
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lady12
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2006 Posts: 15 Location: n/a
Re: Husband Is Impotent / Watchs a Lot of Porn-all Men Pleas Posted: 09-05-06 22:57pm
[]
hello mrs.Lady12, I for one do beleive
that your husband has a little...Well I
don't know what size but he has a problem.
My diagnosis is that he is exploring the
concept of homosexuality. Im no doctor
and this is just my way of interpreting
your situation. Who knows maybe he is
doing it for his own personal reasons but
I personally enjoy the finer concepts as
in: doggy style and kama sutra.[/quote]
yes, he sure does have a problem! Trust
me, I thought of the homosexuality myself
and he tells me that is sick to even think
he is and if he was why would he marry a
women...I said, "it sure would be a good
cover now, would't it."
for what I have read about men with this
problem, porn is something they turn too
because there is knowone to disappoint.
Which, I could understand to a point, but
really, where do you draw the line???
You can't be married to someone and just
go to porn. That is mean and just plain
not right to do to someone. I really
don't no what to do? All I know is I
just want to get down and have some nasty
sex! Lol
lady12
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brynda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2006 Posts: 10 Location: meigs, ga colquitt
Re: Husband Is Impotent / Watchs a Lot of Porn-all Men Pleas Posted: 09-07-06 18:58pm
lady12
wrote:
[]
hello mrs.Lady12, I for one do beleive
that your husband has a little...Well I
don't know what size but he has a problem.
My diagnosis is that he is exploring
the concept of homosexuality. Im no
doctor and this is just my way of
interpreting your situation. Who knows
maybe he is doing it for his own personal
reasons but I personally enjoy the finer
concepts as in: doggy style and kama
sutra.
yes, he sure does have a problem! Trust
me, I thought of the homosexuality myself
and he tells me that is sick to even think
he is and if he was why would he marry a
women...I said, "it sure would be a good
cover now, would't it."
for what I have read about men with this
problem, porn is something they turn too
because there is knowone to disappoint.
Which, I could understand to a point, but
really, where do you draw the line???
You can't be married to someone and just
go to porn. That is mean and just plain
not right to do to someone. I really
don't no what to do? All I know is I
just want to get down and have some nasty
sex! Lol
lady12[/quote]
lady12 maybe your husband is just bored
with you. Sometimes men with erectile
disfunction have this problem. I suggest
you try some new things like sex in
unusual places. For example stop on the
side of the road get out and start
administering oral sex to start with then
get it on, on the hood of the car just
becareful not to dent the hood.
Make sure its after dark with not alot of
traffic.Public places are often exciting
because there is a risk of someone
catching you. Also try sex toys. Maybe
even reach around him while he's on top of
you and gently rub his rectum then insert
you finger, but only if he seems to like
the gentle rub. Just use your
imagination.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-08-06 20:03pm
Hello lady!
I've been reading your post and I feel
your hurt and frustration. I know I cant
really compare to me, because I am in a
1yr relationship, you are in a marriage
and they are different! But well I posted
ages ago about how my boyfriend couldnt
get erect, and what people thought I could
say/do to make things better, or what
action we could take. And loads of
people were really helpful, but there were
loads of people posted stuff like "maybe
he's bored. Stick your finger up his
butt... Play with his balls" or "watch
porn together" and stuff and it just didnt
strike a chord with me cos what I like to
think is that he wants to sleep with me
because of who I am, not how much of a
porn-star act I can put on, and it just
kinda insulted me. Cos with him he
doesn't have to pretend to be anything -
my attraction to him just comes naturally.
I like to think its the same with him.
In your position I would feel very hurt,
because i'd be wondering why he can get
off to porn, but cant get off to me. But
you know what? It doesn't sound to me
like he's gay. And it sounds to me like
he is very defensive and sensitive because
he has an actual problem. I guess when
he's watching porn there is no scope for
failure and perhaps that's why he won't
sleep with you - fear of failure. But
whatever the problem is, he needs to sort
it out because it's not healthy and it's
hurting you. Maybe he just doesnt
realise the extent. You need to
communicate these things to him. When
you tell him its the porn or me, he has to
know why... Why you feel this way. How
it makes you feel and how you think it
affects the relationship. And you need
to make him face the fact he has a problem
because otherwise he's just gonna stick
his head in the sand and pretend nothing's
wrong. If he doesn't respect your
concerns and your needs and your requests,
kick his butt, I swear to god, cos he cant
treat you this way.
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DaManIam
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 28
Poor Guy Posted: 09-08-06 20:52pm
Think about it. What would you rather
do;
a) watch porn and get off.
B) try to get it on with your girl but you
cant cause you cant get it up.
Poor guy cant stiffen up. It's soo
sad. I understand why he would avoid
that situation at all costs.
He's probably one of those guys who cant
open up. It's very difficult to talk
about.
Here's what you can do. Put him in a
situation that no man could resist.
You know him better than anyone. He
must have mentioned a couple of things he
would like ;-).
Whatever you do. Make it seem as
natural as possible...It cannot look like
a setup.
Alcohol always helps....But not too
much...Or he'll be limp like a twizzler.
Last edited by DaManIam on 09-10-06 22:34pm; edited 1 time in total
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lady12
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2006 Posts: 15 Location: n/a
Husband Is Impotent / Watchs a Lot of Porn-all Men Please Posted: 09-10-06 22:14pm
Fionao5 and damaniam,
thank you both for your responses. As I
would not agree with the other posts, but,
I do thank you all for responding! This
is such a hard thing to deal with.
Demaniam, I have to say your response
about him is so right on! It is easier
to turn to porn rather then feel like he
is letting me down. He said to me just
last night, that it is hard for him
because he feels like if we go to make
love and he can't perform, it makes him
feel crappy and he is disappointing me.
He is not one who opens up about this very
easily. And the "gay" thing crossed my
mind, but, really, that is all it did.
Your two responses seemed to hit the nail
on the head.
