I Don't Wanna Feel Like This.. Posted: 09-13-06 13:22pm
Well my parents have told me I have to be
out of the house by january/february..
Basically when my baby is very young.. So
she has a "normal" relationship with her
grandparents (ie. Not living with them
and only seeing them once a week or so).
When I first told them I was pregnant they
threatened to kick me out there and then,
so this is an improvement. My dad keeps
going on about it at me, though, and it's
starting to get me down. It seems like he
can't wait to get rid of me.
As well as that, i'm having problems with
other members of my family, mainly
grandparents.. Constantly telling me what
I should be doing, and always in a
disapproving way, to show how much i've
"let everyone down". I was expecting it,
and yes I suppose I have let them down,
but i'm doing everything I can at the
moment to get my life sorted and prepared
for this baby. Nothing I do is good
enough for them.
Well I presume it's because of all this,
but last night I actually felt like I
didn't want my baby. I cried for hours..
I kept thinking "i'm ruining my life".
This morning I felt slightly better; I had
a driving lesson, which went well and took
my mind off things for a bit.. But now
i'm back to feeling like I did last night.
I don't understand.. A few days ago I
was talking to my bump as normal and
getting excited about the birth.. But now
it's like i'd rather go back to the way
things were before I got pregnant.
I feel so guilty, and I feel like a
terrible mother for thinking these
thoughts.
Sorry.. I just needed to get it off my
chest.
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Jules
Supporter
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3795 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
Thanks: 87
Thanked:71
Posted: 09-13-06 13:31pm
You are not a bad mother for having these
thoughts - you are a normal woman who is
going through a bloody hard time at the
moment! Don't be so hard on yourself -
it sounds like you've got plenty of other
people doing that for you. At the end of
the day, it is your life and it's
nobody's business what you do with it.
Bringing a baby into the world is hardly a
heinous crime - I can understand family
members being a bit frosty if you'd
announced you wee going to become a
prostitute or something but for god's
sake!!!!!
I know in an ideal world, you would have
your family's full support but please
don't give up. You can do this. You
will be a fantastic mummy, i'm sure.
Don't feel guilty about any thoughts you
have; it's actions that count.
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fun_inthesun
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Aug 2006 Posts: 32 Location: Milwaukee Wisconsin
Posted: 09-13-06 16:46pm
Your not a bad mother... My and my
boyfriend are in the same boat.....See he
wants to do music like
perfessionally...Spelled that wrong
sorry.. But he wants to do music... It
isnt sooo bad.. But he got intot he best
combo at our school..( we go to an arts
school) and he just got in yesterday
already he has like 10 trips to go on...
To different states and..Everything.. He
will be busy....When im pregant he wont be
there...For me....And im scared he wont be
there for the baby or be there when its
born.......He will be soo busy...
We havent told our parents yet.. We want
to make sure we have everything
straight...
I feel the same way thou.. Like having a
baby will hold him bac.. And me and I
sometimes say I dont want it.. And im
depressed..And I have soo muchs chool work
already..Im in over my head...
But.. I thought about all the after
stuff... After high school and everything
else... And what the baby really means to
us......
You will get throught it... Its tuff to
think like that.. But everyone does
sometimes...
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3257 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 89
Thanked:128
Posted: 09-13-06 19:24pm
Zany dont feel bad hun it is normal, we go
through stages where we wish we werent
pregnant, to stages of anxiety waiting for
baby. I have to admit though that what
your parents are doing is mental abuse and
it may be better if you actually move out,
you didnt let your family down they let
you down and dont forget that. Yes you
had sex zany, but your parents are your
guardian till 18 I believe down there and
if anythinig it is partially there fault
and yours but your taking responsibilities
for your actions girl, your being more
mature than they are!!!!!
I think you should tell your
parents/grand-parents to back off and tell
them how immature/hypocrits they are being
personally that is what I would have done
but im abit more blunt/staright forward
then some of you.
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Eyes Wide Shut
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 7892 Location: *UPTOWN*NEW ORLEANS*, La
Posted: 09-13-06 19:32pm
You know, your mom and dad might say these
things now, but once you're little one
comes and they get to hold and snuggle
with him/her. (forgot what you were
having...Sorry)
they'll totally change their outlook!!
They just want you to have the best life
for you and your angel. They don't want
you to become, essentially, a moocher.
But if they see you're working and trying
hard to get on your feet, i'm sure they'll
slack up on you..Ya know?
What does the baby's daddy have to sat
about all of this? Is he gonna be any
help for you and the baby financially?
Don't worry about those feelings you're
having about not wanthing your child. You
just have to have a positive outlook!!
i spoke to my boyfriend about all this
last night and he's being as supportive as
he can be, which is what I needed to
hear.. He thinks my parents are being
unfair and shouldn't expect me to move out
the minute our daughter is born. If I did
have to, he would eventually move in with
me, but that wouldn't happen for a while
because he's only just got a pay-rise, he
needs to save up a lot of money before he
can even think about moving out, and he
needs to make sure he can get a job here
straight away. He lives about 250 miles
away from me at the moment, so I doubt
we'll be living together for a while
yet.
He's more than happy to give me money
every month, though, so financially we
should manage, as i'm entitled to a
certain amount of money each week as well.
Money will be tight, but i've managed to
get a lot of baby stuff already, so i'm
pretty sure we'll cope.
I'm going to talk to my parents about it,
I want them to realise that I do want to
move out in the next year or so, but for
the first couple of months after the birth
i'm going to need time to get my head
together, and moving out straight away
won't be an option.
I got to hear my baby's heartbeat again
this morning, when I saw my midwife. It
made me smile, I love hearing it.. And
when she told me everything was ok and
that she could feel the baby's head etc.
I couldn't help but feel attached to my
little one again.. So that's a good
thing, i'm hoping the negative thoughts I
was having weren't my true feelings.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 09-14-06 14:17pm
Hun,my mom told my older sister she had to
get out when she was pregnant.She stayed
and my mom said she had to get her own
place soon. It has been almost 2 years
since then and my mother loves my nephew
to pieces and wold be heart broken if they
moved! Lol I wouldn't wory.Tell your
grandparents to mind their own business
cause you already get enough crap as it
is!
It will be different when the baby is
actually there, I promise!
Your not a bad mom for feeling this way,
it's pretty normal actually. I remember
when I got home from the hospital, it took
a while for me to get on a routine and
things, and putting myself in your place
and having to move right after would be so
much stress and so hard. If your mom is
going to be like that, then she shouldnt
be in your child's life anyways. That's
really messed up & immature.
I wish you lived close to me, I am moving
into a pretty big house and would let you,
the baby and your bf stay as long as you
liked!
People just suck sometimes, but i'm sure
everyone will soften up once they've seen
the baby.
That's really sweet of you to say that,
.Dalicia.. Thanks =)
hopefully my little girl will have all 4
grandparents and 4 great-grandparents
fussing over her when she's here! My gran
has been busy knitting blankets for her
and everything; it makes me really happy
that at least some members of my family
are looking forward to the new arrival.
