I Could Use Some Advice On This, I'm New Here Posted: 09-15-06 17:47pm
Well, hi everyone, my name is erica
(obviously :p) i'm 15, but I turn 16 in
about 2 weeks
i took a pregnancy test today, and found
out that I am pregnant.
So, i've been in a monogamous relationship
for over 14 months with the guy I lost my
virginity to when I was 14 --
problem -- my boyfriend, who is completely
supportive, and as accidental as this may
be, dare I say he may even be happy? Is
19 years old.. He will be 20 by the time
our baby is born..
My question is.. In most states
(including mine) I know that I could marry
him with parental consent when I turn 16..
So will us being married prevent him
from being prosecuted?
This is only something I would consider
doing at such a point in my life if it
would prevent him from being prosecuted
for getting me pregnant, and I realize
that the thought of marriage should not,
by any means, be taken lightly.. But I do
really care about this boy.. And I would
do whatever it took to keep him out of
prison :(
any advice of alternative options would be
greatly appreciated, or if anyone knows
the laws regarding married teenagers and
sex, that would be awesome.. I really
just don't want my child to have to live
the first few years of his life without a
father :( or to have to see his father
locked up for something that was my
decision in the first place (us having
sex).
Thanks a bunch for any help,
erica anneliese-
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SamanthaM
Supporter
Joined: 15 Dec 2005 Posts: 2079 Location: Mishawaka, Indiana
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 09-15-06 17:55pm
I am not sure if being married would stop
him from being prosecuted, but I assume it
would. But please....Do not get married
for this reason. Like you said marriage
is not to be taken lightly. I am glad he
is supportive of the pregnancy, but do not
marry him for that reason. Marriage is
hard enough when you are older, imagine
how it would be a 16 years old. You
shouldn't even be thinking about marriage
now. I understand your dilemma, but I
believe that you would regret getting
married.
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Erica_Anneliese
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 16 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 09-15-06 18:05pm
I know, and I understand why it really
isn't an awesome idea..
My other option that I have been thinking
of, is to put "unknown" under the fathers
name on the birth cerificate.
This scares me though in that the state
might pursue finding a father, and I know
the first place they will look is at my
boyfriend..
So I don't know.. There are so many cons
to not having him on the birth
certificate, but like I said, I would do
anything to keep him out of prison so that
he can be there for his son/daughter.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8358 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 107
Thanked:139
Posted: 09-15-06 18:05pm
Erica, I was 16 when I got pregnant and I
was forced to marry the guy (long story).
But I can tell you honestly that is not
something I would ever do again. He was
nearly 21 when we were married. I was 14
when we met.
You are going to go through a lot of life
changes with having a baby. Marriage is a
lifetime commitment. Lifetime. Like
think of how long you've been alive and
double or even triple that. That is how
long marriage will last. Or not, as was
my case. I was divorced by the time I was
19 years old!
Chances are that he will not be
prosecuted, since it would be you and your
family who would have to file charges
against him.
After my life experience (my son is almost
21 now!), I can honestly say I should not
have gotten married when I was 16. And
you should not marry get married either if
the only reason you would is so he isn't
prosecuted for statutory rape.
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jparry
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 89 Location: PA
Posted: 09-15-06 18:07pm
Erica,
i know in the state that I live in so long
as the age difference is no more then 4
years, it isn't considered sexual assault
of a minor! I also think that in order
for him to be prosecuted you would have to
press charges. Do your parents currently
know that you are dating that much older
then you? Are your parents ok with the
age difference if they do know? If so
then you shouldn't have to worry about
charges be pressed! I am not sure if
marriage would stop conviction if you
parents pressed charges or not.. It might
be in your best interest to search
wisconsin laws regarding this issue. If
you have a strong bond with your parents
talk to them about the issue... I hope
this helps you out some! If you ever need
to talk I am here!
Joey
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Erica_Anneliese
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 16 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 09-15-06 18:10pm
In my state (wisconsin) sex with a minor
even if she is 17 and he is 18, he can
still be prosecuted.. Also, my parents
would not press charges, under the
circumstances that they know him, and he
is at our house regularly, and they know
that we are not a fling.. Our
relationship is as serious as it can be at
our ages.
But in wi, the state can press charges on
him even if my parents and I protest
them.
Also, my parents and I have noticed that
the prosecuters in my city tend to go
after interracial pregnancies far more
vigorously than white-white pregnancies.
I am a 50/50 mix of white and native
american and he is purely laotion
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jparry
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 89 Location: PA
Posted: 09-15-06 18:21pm
Well I would continue to do research.. I
am sure that you can find some kind of
information about this situation! Good
luck
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Erica_Anneliese
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 16 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 09-15-06 18:22pm
Thanks all.. Yea, i've been lookin, I
think sometime this week i'll buck over to
the library and see if I can find anything
there
:d
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BrianBaby
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2005 Posts: 1383
Posted: 09-15-06 19:10pm
Hmm, could you try to talk to a social
worker or consult a lawyer??
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Erica_Anneliese
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 16 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 09-15-06 19:20pm
A social worker would be required to
report it.. A lawyer would be a last
option if I can't find anything because
i'm not sure, but I think it would cost
money to have a consultation or whatever
it may be called.
I'm still just not sure what to do, but I
have a few months before it becomes time
to make a final decision, thanks for
suggesting that!
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8358 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 107
Thanked:139
Posted: 09-15-06 19:44pm
erica_anneliese
wrote:
a social worker would be
required to report it.. A lawyer would
be a last option if I can't find anything
because i'm not sure, but I think it would
cost money to have a consultation or
whatever it may be called.
I'm still just not sure what to do, but I
have a few months before it becomes time
to make a final decision, thanks for
suggesting that!
your doctor would be required to report it
as well - if the state is so diligent
about following up on statutory rape
cases, like you say it is. Any health
care professional, teacher or social
worker would be obligated to report it.
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LittleRaspberryQueen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 2
Posted: 09-20-06 19:20pm
Erica,
try what I did on my first pregnancy, I
lived in ohio, where in my town sex in
general is frowned upon unless you are
married. But I went to a school in a
larger city, so I made some friends with
some of the student teachers who were
closer to my age, and one older teacher
who was a complete liberal. I was 15 when
I was first pregnant and I talked to her
and the other teachers and they looked
into it for me so that my boyfriend of two
years didn't go to jail, over something
bogus,all because my town knew I was
pregnant. Later that week they found a
loophole in the rules and we were in the
clear for the first child to be born. So
try talking to an adult you trust, or one
of your friends older siblings.
Good luck!
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: , va
Posted: 09-20-06 19:38pm
Also another option that you could do is
contact your local prosecutors office and
call anonymously and ask the questions
that you need to know. That is what one
of my friends did, and she also contacted
the police department. All of them told
my friend that the only way that they
would proceed with charges is if the
parents would pursue them. Good luck hun.
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