No Sex, No Communication...is There a Marriage? Posted: 09-18-06 09:27am
I am new here and need someone to help me.
I am 35 yo and married for the 2nd time.
I married my best friend. At first it
was unbelievable! We have been together
for over 2 years and married for 2 1/2
months now. Well already our marriage has
hit rock bottom. I am so unhappy that I
cant even see straight right now.
Problem #1 - our sex life has stopped (his
choice) problem #2 - we dont communicate .
Problem #3 there is no passion no
romance.
Example - no sex - if we do have (maybe
once every 2 months, if that) it is for 5
mins or less. There is no love making to
it, no passion that love making can
create. No caressing, no nothing.
Example - no communication - he will not
talk to me about our problems. He
believes if you ignore it, it will go
away. As you can tell it hasnt. It just
keeps building up over time.
Example - no passion, no romance - nope,
nothing. I use to greet him at the door
when he came home from work. But after
so long of not getting anything in return,
I stopped. I use to pull him to me for
affection, sit on his lap and kiss him,
tell him how handsome he is etc. He
never gives me anything back at all. So
I stopped and our marriage has gotten
worse.
My heart is breaking because I dont feel
he is attracted to me at all, I dont feel
he is in love with me, and I am so
lonely.
Help me understand why this has happened
so quickly....
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littlesqueaks
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 296 Location: Caldwell, Idaho
Posted: 09-19-06 00:13am
Has he given any reason why to your
examples that you have given? I have been
in a relationship for 3 years and our sex
life has also died down in comparison to
the way it was in the beginning. Not as
drastic as yours but for us it was. His
once coming clear minded about it is
caused from the meds that he takes. It
took his sex drive away. After many
months of feeling like I had turned him
off and him trying to explain tome that it
was not me I finally asked an opinion of a
dear friend who just so happen to take the
same meds as he told me that what he was
saying is true because it happen to her.
Anyways I have finally excepted the change
and really he does try for me. It sounds
to me that you may want to talk your "best
friend" into having an honest talk because
thats what best friends are for. If he
can't be open with you then it is time to
have a councelor help the two of you bring
back what should have not been lost this
fast into a marriage or it's only going to
bring hardship for the long run. I hope
that I was of some help take care and good
luck
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Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 09-20-06 08:50am
When you were together for 2 years, were
you living together?............I think
this is why alot of us "2nd time
arounders" are very cautious about getting
remarried.........................The
whole "taking for granted"
thing..............He's got you
now.....................So why work at
it?..................Show him and show him
now!..................If he wants you he
better give
something...............................
............If you've tried talking and it
hasn't worked, it's time for a little
reality check.............Disappear with
no explaination.......And then see what
happens.......................At least you
got a answer. :)
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Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6225 Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
Posted: 09-20-06 14:56pm
I am going through the exact same thing as
you! Each point you made is the same
except I was the one who had no desire for
sex. In the end I said we have to break
up cause I couldn't see a resolve. Then
my hubby dropped the bombshell that he had
fell out of love with me a few months
ago.
This was the wake up call I needed and we
are now trying hard to start again.
Please see the post I just made for more
info
