Boyfriend Has Proposed, But... Posted: 09-20-06 07:51am
Dear all:
i have been seeing this guy for over a
year. We got along quite well and I
really think that he is the right one. He
is 32 and I am 28. We have reached the
point where we are financially and
mentally prepare for the next stage of
life. Recently he has proposed to me, but
I am really not sure what to do
because..
My guy has premature ejaculation. This
issue has been bothering us since early
stage of relationship. We do not stay
together, and I am his first sexual
partner. Occasionally we tried to get
intimate at my place or where we were away
for holiday. He always ejaculated early
before "entering". Needless to say it was
very frustrating.
However i've always give him a smiling
face, telling him never mind, and calm him
down. I knew it is not something he
wanted and thus I really take care of his
feelings. I gentled suggested that we
went to see doc but he said he would see
what he can do before goin to the doc. He
tried some self-help methods( like taking
nutritional supplements and start-stop
method) but it didn't help. The problem
is still there.
Now he has proposed, I really do not know
wat to do. Yeah I love him and really
think that he is the one for me. However
I do not believe in marriage without sex.
If this problem persists I do not see that
our marriage will work out. I knew this
because at times I am really depressed as
my needs are not fulfilled. He is not too
keen in seeking a solution either. As
mentioned, I love him, the last thing I
want to do is to upset him and force him
to do something he does not want to.
Please help!! :(
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 09-20-06 09:53am
Well if he wants to get married to you he
has to do something.You cannot go on
feeling the way you do because it will
only get worss and you will start
resenting him for it.Tell him what you
just said here.You love him and think
everyhting is perfect outside of teh fact
that ejaculates too soon. Tell him he
needs to go to the doctor or find some way
to work it out.
Ans To: My Bf Proposed But !!! Posted: 03-28-07 01:35am
here's a quick, short answer, ok ?? a
urologist can solve the problem, go to
one.
|
acountrygirlcansurvive
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 32
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Boyfriend Has Proposed, But... Posted: 05-14-07 13:40pm
laicy
wrote:
He is not too keen in
seeking a solution either. As mentioned,
I love him, the last thing I want to do is
to upset him and force him to do something
he does not want to.
Please help!!
Well, if he's not wanting to seek help
with this and unable to come to some
agreement with you as to what to do, what
else will he be unwilling to do in the
marriage? I COULD SEE THINGS GETTING
FRUSTRATING..YOU KNOW? If he truly loves
you and wants to marry you then whatever
is important to you should be important to
him. Sex is a part of a normal healthy
marriage and if that is important to you
then it should be for him as well. IMHO.
|
meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2123 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Re: Boyfriend Has Proposed, But... Posted: 05-14-07 13:59pm
laicy
wrote:
Dear all:
i have been seeing this guy for over a
year. We got along quite well and I
really think that he is the right one. He
is 32 and I am 28. We have reached the
point where we are financially and
mentally prepare for the next stage of
life. Recently he has proposed to me, but
I am really not sure what to do because..
My guy has premature ejaculation. This
issue has been bothering us since early
stage of relationship. We do not stay
together, and I am his first sexual
partner. Occasionally we tried to get
intimate at my place or where we were away
for holiday. He always ejaculated early
before "entering". Needless to say it was
very frustrating.
However i've always give him a smiling
face, telling him never mind, and calm him
down. I knew it is not something he
wanted and thus I really take care of his
feelings. I gentled suggested that we
went to see doc but he said he would see
what he can do before goin to the doc. He
tried some self-help methods( like taking
nutritional supplements and start-stop
method) but it didn't help. The problem
is still there.
Now he has proposed, I really do not know
wat to do. Yeah I love him and really
think that he is the one for me. However
I do not believe in marriage without sex.
If this problem persists I do not see that
our marriage will work out. I knew this
because at times I am really depressed as
my needs are not fulfilled. He is not too
keen in seeking a solution either. As
mentioned, I love him, the last thing I
want to do is to upset him and force him
to do something he does not want to.
Please help!!
very nicely sit him down. Tell him he
excites you very much. Build him up, and
then tell him we need to work on this so
we both are content. He loves you so he
will want to make you happy. Not only do
you need a good sex life in marriage you
need communication too. Looks like this is
a good time to start!
as you can tell from my first answer, i'm
a no-nonsense man. i don't believe in
putting things off. you need to share with
him everyone's opinions that you've read
here. THEN if he STILL doesn't care enough
about EITHER ONE of you to go to a
urologist and seek answers, walk away and
FIND SOMEONE who WILL CARE about the both
of you. i'm talking from experience so i
do know what i'm saying.
