Joined: 26 Sep 2006 Posts: 13 Location: Seattle Washington
Will Someone Please Be Happy For Me?? Posted: 09-26-06 21:28pm
I'm normally a lurker here ... So this
would be my unofficial introduction ...
Hi everyone! My husband and I got some
good news today at my colposcopy apt.
(and then some more good news!) first
off, there was no sign of cervical cancer
(as we had once feared). And!!! (-i'm
pregnant-) nine weeks along. I was so
excited! Then I called to tell my father
who said ... 'uh...How can you afford
that?...Guess your husband will have to
step up to the plate now, hu?' I was
crushed.
We have an almost 3 year old son and an
almost 1 year old daughter. Two of the
most beautiful intelligent and caring
children you would ever meet. The world
will be such a better place because of
them. We thought we were done...But,
well...Maybe not? We arent exactly well
off...But my husband works 12 - 16 hrs a
day to support us so I can stay home with
our children.
How could my father say such a thing? I
feel so alone and innadequate right
now...And just need for someone to be
happy for our good news:) thanks for
listening...So sorry for the negativity
here. And congradulations to all of you
mommy's!
-zu
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St3ss1n
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2006 Posts: 20 Location: hope
Posted: 09-26-06 21:38pm
Congratulations on ur new edition and im
happy that u dont have cervical cancer I
know it is a relief to you and ur husband.
Maybe your father didnt mean to say that
or didnt mean for it to come out like
that. I dont know but I hope everything
works out.
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zuleika
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2006 Posts: 13 Location: Seattle Washington
9 Weeks Prego = Drama Queen!! Posted: 09-26-06 21:47pm
Thanks ... I forgot about these wild
emotions :d -
- :d !! Just as long as I dont see any
of those kodac moments commersials, I
should be ok. Or the snuggle dryer sheet
ones!! (those always get me!)
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PRSmama
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 46 Location: Canada
Posted: 09-26-06 22:04pm
Ohhh, i'm so sorry that your first
official 'tell' wasn't thrilled...You know
what, dad's just don't know what to say to
their little girls sometimes. I remember
when I <finally> got pregnant with
my first, after two years ttc, and I told
my parents, my dad's response was that he
wanted to wait to be excited until I got a
blood test, even though 3 urine tests--2
hpts and one clinic urine test had been
positive. I was crushed then as well.
But it didn't take long for him to get
over that and be excited and of course,
now he adores his grandbabies! Just
wait, a few months from now, or at worst
when this baby arrives all this silly talk
of 'affording' will be long forgotten when
he holds his new grandbaby.
Congrats on both baby and cancer-free!!
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 09-27-06 14:18pm
When I told my mother I was pregnant again
she started to cry and ask me how I could
do this to her again and what the hell was
I thinking. I was really close to dying
during my first pregnancy and my baby
passed away. It was really hard to hear.
The people that I told wern't too happy
that I was pregnant again. It took me
telling a total stranger that I was
preggers to get a happy congrats. But
now everyone loves little .Melia.
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 09-27-06 14:26pm
If your not very well off why dont you
work?
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jparry
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2006 Posts: 89 Location: PA
Posted: 09-27-06 14:42pm
Congrats on the new baby.. I am sure
everything will be fine! Hope that it
goes well for you and your family!
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Sandbox Party
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 7276
Posted: 09-27-06 14:43pm
Theres a difference between well-off and
stable.
Some people are just more comfortable with
getting by. Rob and I arent nearly rich,
but he makes great money and after bills
are paid every month we have over half his
income left. (thats including rent and
utilites, and a $469 car payment.)
i think that if they are really in need of
money enough to complain about it, and
hubby working isnt cutting it, then yes,
she should work, atleast part time.
Dont complain about something you refuse
to fix.
Secondly, your fathers been there.. He
knows what its like to struggle to raise
children and knows what its like to barely
scrape by. Parents want nothing but the
best or better for their kids. Put
yourself in his shoes.. Maybe you'll
understand.
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zuleika
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2006 Posts: 13 Location: Seattle Washington
Posted: 09-27-06 14:57pm
Actually, we aren't like...In need or
anything. We have a good 600 left at the
end of the month for saving and/or extras.
I'm deffinately not complaining about my
situation:) I guess I just care too much
what my father thinks. He's not very
happy about my life because when I grew up
we were 'rich'. Not like servents
rich...But a 6000sq home, lots of vehicles
and expensive toys, vacations, etc. I
guess he thinks what makes him happy is
what makes everyone happy and how can I be
satisfied where I am? I wouldn't mind
working...I've actually suggested a part
time night position somewhere. But I
would never go back to work days and give
up raising my kids all day long (unless we
were in need of that). (no offense to
anyone) my children are just so happy and
loving...And I believe that has something
to do with me...(i hope *grin*) anyhow,
thanks to everyone for their support and
advice; I feel much better! - by the way
(off topic) how can you add photos?
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Whisper_Lullaby
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Sep 2006 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-27-06 15:02pm
Congratulations dad's can be
rough, they usually just don't know how to
respond to some things I think. I
remember when my mother told my father I
was pregnant with my first, I was fairly
young, and his first question was if I and
the father were going to get married. My
mom responded with an I dunno, and he
thought we should break up then. Glad to
say I didn't listen to him, took my time,
and have been happily married to the
father of my children for 7 years, without
needing his approval.
As for the working thing, in many places
childcare is more expensive then what
people would be paid if they were to go to
work. At that point you are faced with 2
options...#1 go to work & come home
too exhausted to play with your kids, pay
some strangers to watch your children and
hand over ever cent you worked so hard
for, or #2 stay home with your children
and know they are well taken care. I go
for #2. If the childcare is low enough
though or you have access to higher paying
jobs (via a degree or such), working would
be a good option. At anyrate,
congratulations on your little one.
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Sandbox Party
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 7276
Posted: 09-27-06 15:02pm
Well im glad ur life was so hunky dorey.
Your dad probably wants the same for his
grandchildren. Cant really blame him.
I grew up respecting the value of a
dollar. We werent poor, but we definately
werent well off. Bills got paid,
sometimes late.. Cars were always around
(well... 1) and they werent always new..
As a matter of fact, I only remember 1 new
car when I was 5 or 6. After that every
car was used.
It didnt make us any worse than anyone.
And the rich kids at school werent any
better than me.
I'm glad I was raised under the conditions
I was.. Now I know what it means to save
and value a dollar. I know I dont need
the best of anything, and that im not too
good to wear clothes from .Goodwill.
Neither will be my kids, even if I win the
lottery and have millions of dollars.
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zuleika
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2006 Posts: 13 Location: Seattle Washington
Posted: 09-27-06 15:12pm
See! Thats how I feel! My kids are
perfectly happy with hand-me-down toys,
and I love goodwill:) I know my dad just
wants the best for his grandbabies but
they do have the best! They have two
parents who adore them (and each other
btw). They know how to enjoy all the
simple pleasures in life. Plus i've seen
too many families who 'have it all' not
seem to enjoy each other at all. So sad.
I'd rather have closeness than money any
day of the week. And let me tell
you....We will be close...5 ppl in a two
bedroom apartment:) (might have to move
*grin*)
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zuleika
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2006 Posts: 13 Location: Seattle Washington
Posted: 09-27-06 15:15pm
Good for you whisper!! Seven years is a
good long time:) matt and I have been
married for 4 (and together for 4years and
4days *grin*) you shoulda seen my parents
faces:)
and good for you with the staying home
with your children too! Yeah, I agree it
would be pointless to pay someone else to
get to be with my kids all day especially
since it would be all the money I could
bring home. Just a no-brainer. I would
go work at some 24 hour place at night
time though...Maybe like 2 days a week.
But not right now...Who would hire a
pregnant girl?
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Sandbox Party
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 7276
Posted: 09-27-06 15:17pm
Well, im glad u arent intent on following
in ur parents footsteps. I admire that.
But u need to voice that opinion to your
parents, so they dont try to make u feel
inadequate for not wanting to be like
them.
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katiana
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2006 Posts: 53 Location: Virginia
Posted: 09-28-06 18:10pm
Congratulations. I would rather be not
so well off and stay home with my kids
full time then well off and miss those
special moments. I'm not knocking women
that do work but staying at home is
definatly a luxury. I would never give
it up for all the money in the world. A
sincere congrats to you and your family.
- :d !! Just as long as I dont see any
of those kodac moments commersials, I
should be ok. Or the snuggle dryer sheet
ones!! (those always get me!)
dad's can be
rough, they usually just don't know how to
respond to some things I think. I
remember when my mother told my father I
was pregnant with my first, I was fairly
young, and his first question was if I and
the father were going to get married. My
mom responded with an I dunno, and he
thought we should break up then. Glad to
say I didn't listen to him, took my time,
and have been happily married to the
father of my children for 7 years, without
needing his approval.
