Was just after a bit of advice really, I
have discovered over the past week that I
am pregnant with my second baby, my first
is just coming up to be 8 months old
now.
It was a struggle to decide to have our
first baby, as my partner and I had not
been together long at all when we found
out I had become pregnant. We chose to
keep the baby and struggled through
telling our families/friends etc as we are
a young couple only just reached our
twenties.
I have not taken a test yet, but the
symptoms are so like last time I don't
think I need to even do one.
The problem is we are struggling to cope
with our daughter as things are now (we
love her so much but it is a task to care
for her) financially, and emotionally we
do not think we are ready for another
baby.
I feel guilty for not wanting this baby;
from the second I found out I was pregnant
the first time around, I new I could not
destroy my child's life. But now I know
that this second baby will not be here at
the right time in our lives at all, we
would struggle even more, perhaps another
child now would tear me and partner apart,
as we are just managing to cope with our
daughter and have arguments as it is.
I also feel silly for managing to let this
happen a second time around, I have kept
meaning to go and get on the pill but I
hate going to the doctors and have been
putting it off. I went the other day
and explained about being pregnant again
and explained how I felt, the doctor gave
me the name and number of a family
planning clinic and I have rang and booked
an appointment for this afternoon, I am
preparing myself to say that I want an
abortion.
And I think I really do. Only I know
that afterwards I will look at my daughter
and know that I have destroyed something
that could have been as beautiful as
her.
And as morbid as it sounds, I am doing
this for her. For my baby girl. She
needs us to be able to look after her to
the best of our abliltes and to do that I
cant be pregnant again and feeling so sick
from morning sickness etc. I have just
started back to work and we are struggling
financially as it is, if I were to be on
maternity leave again - and then have
another child to support on top of that
i'm not sure we would manage at all.
Any advice or opinions or someone elses
stories of their own decisions would help.
Although I have booked an appointment
for this afternoon I doubt that they will
do anything then, just chat.
******i believe I am about 7 months
pregnant, I live in the uk, so they may
abort differently to those of you in the
usa******
{edited to say} tha above that I wrote
about 7 months was a mistake! Its 7
weeks!!! Man I feel silly. Sorry for
confusing everyone who read it before I
added this bit!!!!
Thanks for taking the time to read this
amz xxx
Last edited by amaez on 09-27-06 15:03pm; edited 2 times in total
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Jules
Moderator
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3752 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
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Re: Decision Posted: 09-27-06 09:12am
amaez
wrote:
i also feel silly for
managing to let this happen a second time
around, I have kept meaning to go and get
on the pill but I hate going to the
doctors and have been putting it off.
.Going to the doctor's to get birth
control would have been a whole lot easier
and less traumatic than going to the
hospital to have an abortion. As you
know, there are a lot of doctor's
appointments to be kept when you are
pregnant too, so whatever you choose
you're in for a whole lot of doctors!!!
Condoms are available from most
supermarkets/drugstores. please please
please try and take more care of
yourself in future or you are going to end
up in this situation time and again and
that is fair on no-one.
I wish you luck with your decision.
Edit: just wanted to say that I realise
birth control is not 100% and sometimes
people do get pregnant while on it
but not using any at all is just daft if
you don't want a baby.
Last edited by Jules on 09-27-06 10:09am; edited 1 time in total
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
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Posted: 09-27-06 10:04am
I had gotten pregnant 4 times 3 with /bc
and I have two kids I got pregnant when my
daughter was 8 months, now it can be done
haveing two close together btw i'm 22.
Now honestly if you get an abortion its
all good, I just hate when ppl have
resources around them and dont use them
like purest said you health forum about
something but never do anything about like
what.
Anyways sorry I went off abit, im very
strong minded, what does your bf want?
How do you feel emotinally/pysically right
now? Will I be able to cope with my
daughter after this procedure?
Ask yourself a few good question before
making any decision
>arr you really 7 months pregnant?
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 09-27-06 11:15am
I'm only cringing because you're seven
month along... And so many preemies
survive at that age.
What about adoption? The issue of "i
don't want to be pregnant at all" has
really passed at this point because you're
almost done.
I'm pro-choice, but I would have a hard
time aborting at 4 months, much less
seven... Still, those are my opinions,
and we're supposed to stay away from those
here. I don't know what the laws are like
in the uk but it seems 24 weeks is the
latest you can socially abort. Four weeks
a month times seven months is 28 weeks...
A whole month past the legal date.
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Carifairy
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Joined: 12 Nov 2005 Posts: 2610 Location: Charlotte n.c.
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Posted: 09-27-06 12:23pm
Her baby is 8 mos old, perhaps she means 7
weeks pregnant!!
Right? It would not make much sense
unless you became pregnant the month that
you gave birth, like around 3-4 weeks
after you gave birth.
I believe I am about 7 months pregnant, I
live in the uk, so they may abort
differently to those of you in the usa
thanks for taking the time to read this
amz xxx
no she means 7 months, otherwise she
wouldnt of brought up aborting differently
in the usa.
The uk wont abort your baby at 7 months
just because you dont want anotehr one.
Why in the hell would you wait 7 months to
consider abortion? My brothers were born
at 7 months and they were perfectly fine.
7 months is a little late sweetheart.
Use some freaking birth control if you
dont want kids.
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Jules
Moderator
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3752 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
Thanks: 75
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Posted: 09-27-06 13:14pm
I assumed she meant 7 weeks. I'm sure
it's a typo.
i assumed she meant 7 weeks.
I'm sure it's a
typo.
if it was 7 weeks, why would she mention
aborting differently in the uk vs the usa?
The uk performs abortions much later in
pregnancy if requested, so im assuming she
thinks she ll be approved for an abortion
at 7 months.
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Jules
Moderator
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3752 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
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Posted: 09-27-06 14:19pm
So what's the legal cut off for elective
abortions in the .U.S then, out of
interest? I guess it varies between
states?
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amaez
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Sep 2006 Posts: 4 Location: UK
Posted: 09-27-06 14:56pm
I'm so stupid....
*******************7
weeks!!!!*****************
oops, is there a way I can change tat I
wrote that at the top? - ah yes, i've
just seen I can edit it!!!
The law in the uk is an abortion is legal
up to 24 weeks and only after if the
womans life is at risk or the child youd
be severly handicapped.
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amaez
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Sep 2006 Posts: 4 Location: UK
Posted: 09-27-06 15:17pm
I only mentioned I am in the uk in case I
was using any language americans would be
confused by; e.G I dont know if the
clinics in the us would be called family
planning clinics etc.
Anyway, I went to the family planning
clinic and they did a test; I am pregnany,
7 weeks preg.
I have booked myself in for a consultation
next week.
I hope ppl will write again now I have
straightened the facts out.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 09-27-06 15:25pm
I am glad that you clarified(sp) that.
You have to do what you feel is right and
no one can make that choice for you but
you!
My suggestion is that after you either
abort or have this baby that you get
yourself on some birth control and realize
that birth control is not 100% but I am
definitely not saying not to use it. If
you decide to go ahead with this abortion
and feel that you will need some help with
it emotionally ask for it, ask the dr or
the nurse or the assistant as their are
several times that an abortion can cause
problems emotionally psycholgically and
emotionally. Their are others that go
through it with no problems, just remember
that if youdo go though with it that you
had your reasons.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best
and know that I am here for you as others
are!
im in wisconsin now, and this is what
wisconsin says about abortion:
"wisconsin has not repealed its pre-roe
abortion ban, which is unconstitutional
and unenforceable.
The ban provides that any person, except a
woman upon herself, who performs an
abortion of an "unborn quick child" not
necessary to preserve the woman's life is
guilty of a felony. Any woman who
consents to an abortion or performs an
abortion upon herself of an "unborn quick
child" may be fined up to $200, imprisoned
for up to six months, or both. "
illinois' unconstitutional and
unenforceable ban outlaws abortions
performed as early as twelve weeks. 720
ill. Comp. Stat. Ann. 513/1, 513/5,
513/10, 513/20, 513/99 (enacted 1997).
Seriously, the desicion is yours to make
and if you don't feel now is the best time
for another child, then don't have it.
You have the right to make that desicion,
as a woman.
I didnt say it was illegal, I said it was
an illinois ban, health question.
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Jules
Moderator
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3752 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
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Posted: 09-28-06 01:58am
Why would the law (or not) of .Illinois
put off anyone from having an abortion?
Unless they live in .Illinois, surely it
wouldn't make any difference?
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 09-28-06 07:25am
stillherelosers
wrote:
nataliachick7
wrote:
i didnt say it was illegal,
I said it was an illinois ban, health
question.
no, you said abortion after the 12th week
is banned. It isn't.
An .U.N.E.N.F.O.R.C.A.B.L.E law doesn't
mean shit. You got caught in
another lie, fundie. You posted that
information in an effort to deter women
from their legal right to terminate a
pregnancy after 12 weeks. Drop dead,
person
licker.
no, she stated a true ban in a state. I
don't see where she lied. Just you,
trying to say she did.
