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diamondsz

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What Would You Do Posted: 09-29-06 21:28pm


Im putting a few of you on the hotspot, I am going to give you real life sitiuations and want to know how you act/what you would do? 1. A 12 year becomes pregnant from her boyfriend at the times, she lost her virginity so she could keep her boyfriend and found out he had no care for her, you are her school counsillor what would you suggest. 2. A mother of 6 kids is pregnant again off birth control, the dr refused sterilaztion because of her age, she does not have the time, patience, money for another child and cant stand to give birth and have to give her child to another family. If she has this child you pay for it by paying more taxes and have another mother living social assistance or she has an abortion what would you do? 3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest? 4. A woman attending school has got 2 years left before earning her doctorate and knows that a child would not allow her to do school as she is having a hard enough time budgetting and would her school fund what would you suggest?

Tylanas

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 09-29-06 23:07pm

diamondsz wrote:

im putting a few of you on the hotspot, I am going to give you real life sitiuations and want to know how you act/what you would do?

1. A 12 year becomes pregnant from her boyfriend at the times, she lost her virginity so she could keep her boyfriend and found out he had no care for her, you are her school counsillor what would you suggest.

first, i'd tell her that it's not her fault. Secondly, I would tell her what is in the future... Abortion, adoption or keeping the child. I'd be blunt and tell her that she needs to go talk to a doctor with her parents, because pregnancy is not healthy for her, and whether she wants to keep or abort, she is going to need a doctor's advice so she can know the risks assosciated.

Quote:

2. A mother of 6 kids is pregnant again off birth control, the dr refused sterilaztion because of her age, she does not have the time, patience, money for another child and cant stand to give birth and have to give her child to another family. If she has this child you pay for it by paying more taxes and have another mother living social assistance or she has an abortion what would you do?

if she doesn't want another child then she has full right to an abortion, I see nothing wrong with this scenario.

Quote:

3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest?

i'd let her make her own desicion, but I must admit my advice would lean towards pro-abortion. I wouldn't kick her out if she wanted to keep it, but i'd prefer she abort or give it up to adoption, because I am not going to care for it.

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4. A woman attending school has got 2 years left before earning her doctorate and knows that a child would not allow her to do school as she is having a hard enough time budgetting and would her school fund what would you suggest?

suggest? That she look at the pros and cons of each scenario. Can she deal with being pregnant and the negative stigmas attatched to it? Can she then have the strength to give away the baby? Or, is abortion a better solution? If she knows she doesn't and can't care for it, then those are her two options.

Cambion

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Posted: 09-30-06 01:28am

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1. A 12 year becomes pregnant from her boyfriend at the times, she lost her virginity so she could keep her boyfriend and found out he had no care for her, you are her school counsillor what would you suggest.

considering a girl of this age is still a child, I would tell her what options she has and then have her tell her parents immediately, even if that meant calling her parents. Then I would suggest to the school a better sex education program and making condoms available in the nurse's office. Hopefully her parents wouldn't be stupid and allow their pre-teen to have a child. Allowing that has to be some kind of child endangerment.

Quote:

she can't afford it, she has no time for it, she doesn't want it, and she has six more ankle-biters to look after. I'd say those are all fine reasons to get an abortion. However, if this baby machine felt that the catholic god would provide for her and her family, then I would allow her to ruin her life further in peace.

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3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest?

i would calmly give her a simple ultimatum: either she aborts, or she moves out. I would take her to the clinic and pay for the procedure if she chose to abort. If she decided she was mature and cool enough to be a mother, then she would be doing so in a place that isn't my home and without my emotional or financial support - basically, she would get emancipated if she brought home a baby. If she disowned me for throwing her out "in her time of greatest need", then I wouldn't give a damn. If she's going to be retarded enough to ruin her life, she won't be doing it in my home and ruining my life along with hers.

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i would suggest she look at the upsides and downsides of each of her options (parenthood, abortion, adoption), and find the one with the most positive aspects. I know what my decision would be if I were in that position, but what's right for me may not be right for her, so she would need to make her own decision based on her lifestyle and how she feels about it.

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 09-30-06 04:14am

diamondsz wrote:

i would suggest she tell her parents immediately. I would tell her all the options available to her but I wouldn't promote any particular one because she would need to sort that out with her parents.

Quote:

what would I do in what context? The question is a bit vague. Am I related to the woman? Am I a friend or advisor? If I am just an anonymous tax payer in this scenario then I would be happy for my taxes to go on paying for her child. It doesn't bother me personally.
If she wants an abortion then she should get one, it's her choice. She should be allowed to be sterilised though.

Quote:

3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest?

i'd ask her if she wanted to keep the baby or not. I would prefer her to have the baby because I would feel bad that she was killing my grandchild if she aborted but if she was really certain that abortion was what she wanted to do I would respect her decision and allow her to do that. If she wanted the baby I would happily take the child on as my own if she was too young to care for it. If she was mature enough to care for it I would support her all the way. Whatever choice was made, I would ensure she was on proper birth control the instant the abortion was done/baby was born. As for adoption, I would not accept that. If she had the baby, I would request custody as opposed to the child being handed over to strangers.

Quote:

i would help her find out what resources are available to her to continue studying and have her child so she can make an informed decision. My personal feelings don't matter in this case because this woman, I assume, is not related to me or in my care. I may not like the fact she may choose to abort but I wouldn't try and stop her. It's her life.

diamond splinter

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 09-30-06 05:12am

purestgreen wrote:

diamondsz wrote:

i would suggest she tell her parents immediately. I would tell her all the options available to her but I wouldn't promote any particular one because she would need to sort that out with her parents.

Quote:

what would I do in what context? The question is a bit vague. Am I related to the woman? Am I a friend or advisor? If I am just an anonymous tax payer in this scenario then I would be happy for my taxes to go on paying for her child. It doesn't bother me personally.

If she wants an abortion then she should get one, it's her choice. She should be allowed to be sterilised though.

Quote:

3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest?

Quote:

same here

Tylanas

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Posted: 09-30-06 09:22am

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as for adoption, I would not accept that. If she had the baby, I would request custody as opposed to the child being handed over to strangers.

this is the reason that I would never be able to adopt out a child; because my mother would also refuse to let it be handed over to strangers. However, i refuse to let my mother raise my child. She rasied me, her job is done. Thus, in any unwanted pregnancy situation, i'd either have to keep it, or abort it. And for where I am in life now, that best choice is to abort, because I cannot care for that child. I would consider adoption, except that my mother has closed that door in my face.

Jules

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Posted: 09-30-06 10:01am

eiri wrote:

Quote:

as for adoption, I would not accept that. If she had the baby, I would request custody as opposed to the child being handed over to strangers.

that's a shame that you and your mum wouldn't see eye to eye in that hypothetical situation but everyone is different. At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you, even if it would hurt your mum. I know if my hypothetical daughter aborted because she wouldn't want me raising her child then I would be terribly upset but she would still be my daughter and I would still love and support her.

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 09-30-06 13:14pm

stillherelosers wrote:

purestgreen wrote:

as for adoption, I would not accept that. If she had the baby, I would request custody as opposed to the child being handed over to strangers.

not your child, not your choice. You don't own your grandchildren anymore than you do your child.

not my child but the law would support me so yes, it is my choice.

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 09-30-06 15:06pm

stillherelosers wrote:

if your child gave away her child for adoption, you wouldn't have a damn say in the matter

.I don't think that is entirely correct. I know grandparents' rights are pretty poor but I would have the right to fight through the courts to get custody of the child and I would do so. I may not be successful but at least I will have tried.

Meandering Away

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 09-30-06 15:25pm

purestgreen wrote:

stillherelosers wrote:

if your child gave away her child for adoption, you wouldn't have a damn say in the matter

over here in merry old england you will have at least a 90% chance of winning because they prefer to place the child with a blood relative if they possibly can.

sandyallen

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Posted: 09-30-06 18:39pm


Their are times that things do work out for the better and believe me, I am not 100% on adoption either because I know that some kids go to not to great of homes while some adoptions fail and are put back into the system but I know of a couple that adopted 2 children , 1 state adoption and 1 personnal adoption where they knew the girl that was pregnant and you could not ask for better parents than these, you could not even tell these were adopted. Their are times, not always, that it does work.

sandyallen

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Posted: 09-30-06 19:05pm


#1. I agree very much with what eiri said. #2. I would get an abortion, get my tubes tied and burnt and if that Dr. Did not want to do it, I would find one that would, most dr's will after six kids and being in that shape or situation #3 I would give her her choice but she must know that she will have to raise this baby, or abort and if she wants to keep it she must continue her education and get a job I will help but not raise it and while living under my roof, it is my rules. #4. About the same thing. We would sit down, discuss it and look at the ups and downs and see if she wouldn't rather wait until later to have the child or get married and have the father look after the baby while she was in college or abort. It would be her choice as she is an adult now or she could wait and finish her college after the birth.

diamondsz

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 09-30-06 19:29pm

diamondsz wrote:

im putting a few of you on the hotspot, I am going to give you real life sitiuations and want to know how you act/what you would do?

diamondsz wrote:

. A 12 year becomes pregnant from her boyfriend at the times, she lost her virginity so she could keep her boyfriend and found out he had no care for her, you are her school counsillor what would you suggest.

***i would mention all her choices, would also mention how they might affect her school life as well as support option for any of her choices.

diamondsz wrote:

personally this is a touchy sitiuation, (the reason I wrote this one is because it happened to a family memeber) at the time she got an abortion allthough it not like she had any other choices.

diamondsz wrote:

3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest?

as a parent I would allow her choice to keep the child, I would also assist her in regaining her education a life skils before having the child, although if she chose to abort I would support her 100%

diamondsz wrote:

the governemtn would actually provide support for this type of sitiuation may even pay for daycare room& board and everything else although it takes awhile with our government. The other thing I would suggest is fostercare and abortion, a woman can place her child in fostercare(open) see her child when she chooses but take her child back when she is mentally/fincially ready.

Tylanas

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Posted: 10-01-06 20:21pm

purestgreen wrote:

eiri wrote:

Quote:

as for adoption, I would not accept that. If she had the baby, I would request custody as opposed to the child being handed over to strangers.

well the other thing is that she would "refuse" to let me abort as well, simply because she was forced to do so in college, and now she thinks that everone who aborts will go through the mental pain she did. They are well-meant thoughts, but not ones that let me be myself or make my own desicions. So, I would have to abort without even telling her I was pregnant in the first place.

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 10-01-06 20:24pm

diamondsz wrote:

im putting a few of you on the hotspot, I am going to give you real life sitiuations and want to know how you act/what you would do?

diamondsz wrote:

***i would mention all her choices, would also mention how they might affect her school life as well as support option for any of her choices.

diamondsz wrote:

personally this is a touchy sitiuation, (the reason I wrote this one is because it happened to a family memeber) at the time she got an abortion allthough it not like she had any other choices.

diamondsz wrote:

3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest?

wait, no "choice" has been made yet by the kid... She's simply informed the mother she is pregnant. "allowing" her to give birth and keep it is forcing her to not abort or adopt.

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 10-01-06 21:32pm

diamondsz wrote:

I would call her parents and have everyone meet at the school (neutral ground and with a counselor there, emotions can be checked before they get out of hand). I would encourage her to tell them what happened. I would also strongly encourage an abortion for this particular situation. At 12, her body is not prepared for pregnancy, let alone child birth and her health and life will be at risk should she keep it. However, I would stress to her and to her parents that it is her decision since it is her body. If she decides to keep the pregnancy, I would help her remain in her regular classes and I would suggest an adoption. A child born to a 12 year old (if it survives pregnancy) would need a lot of medical care and it may be something that her parents either cannot afford or do not want to take on.

I would also call the boy and his parents into my office, tell them what is going on, and inform them that they could be liable for child support payments since he is obviously not old enough to pay them himself. I would also make it a priority to educate all of the other 12 year olds under my care about reproduction and contraception.

Quote:

if I was this woman, I would obtain an abortion. If I was her friend/relative, I would hope to be sensitive enough to just listen to her vent all of her frustrations about her situation and support her in whatever she decides.

Quote:

3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest?

I would suggest an abortion. Education is of the most importance in my household and I would let my daughter know that her aspirations toward higher education would necessarily be put into jeopardy should she have a child. I'd like to think that any daughter that I have would already be educated in the realities of motherhood and would have long ago realized that she was not yet prepared for such a life.

Quote:

this is near enough to my situation to say that I would obtain an abortion, myself, and would suggest an abortion as an option to any of my friends in the phd program as well. Women who make it to their doctorates are already focused and determined to reach their goals. Since I am currently a part of that world, I have to say that an abortion would not be a hard sell for any of the women involved. We've all worked so incredibly hard just to be there and we're all determined to finish. Having a child at that time would be the end of our educational pursuits and most of us simply won't stand for that to happen since we've already sacrificed so much to make it that far. Getting your phd, especially as a woman, is such a huge achievement and can mean so much for your families future economic security that it would be a mistake to quit for just about anything. In this case, sacrificing the pregnancy so that you can be in the best position possible to care for future pregnancies and children would be the best option, in my opinion.

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Re: What Would You Do
Posted: 10-02-06 03:19am

eiri wrote:

diamondsz wrote:

im putting a few of you on the hotspot, I am going to give you real life sitiuations and want to know how you act/what you would do?

diamondsz wrote:

***i would mention all her choices, would also mention how they might affect her school life as well as support option for any of her choices.

diamondsz wrote:

personally this is a touchy sitiuation, (the reason I wrote this one is because it happened to a family memeber) at the time she got an abortion allthough it not like she had any other choices.

diamondsz wrote:

3. Your teenage daughter gets pregnant and you flip out at first but the collect your cool, what you do to give advice, how would you give advice and what would you suggest?

wait, no "choice" has been made yet by the kid... She's simply informed the mother she is pregnant. "allowing" her to give birth and keep it is forcing her to not abort or adopt.

eiri wrote:

no, I think the parents do have a choice; they can always disown their child and/or kick her out. Personally I agree, if the daughter thinks she's mature enough to care for a baby, she's mature enough to get a job and live on her own or - preferrably - with the father of the baby, unless he's an abusive dick. Hell, they should get married, in my book. They were "in love" enough to bring a screaming infant into the world together, they should spend at least the next 18 years of life together, raising their love child.

this is forcing her to abort, allowing her to give birth is no way forcing her not to abort.

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Posted: 10-02-06 12:55pm

Quote:

this is forcing her to abort, allowing her to give birth is no way forcing her not to abort.

i beg to differ. Eiri's response to that scenario was providing a choice to the teen - either she aborts and stays at home, or she gets emancipated and gets her own place and brings home her own income. It's not that she's being forced to abort...It's just the path of abortion looks tremendously easier.

By choosing the latter of the two choices, the girl would pretty much be saying she's ready to grow up and be an adult...But very few teen girls want to do that. Working full time to raise a child at seventeen and living on your own would really cut into a girl's social life, and that's practically asking some girls to cut off their arms and eat them. But the choice is still there.

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Posted: 10-02-06 13:17pm

cambion wrote:

Quote:

this is forcing her to abort, allowing her to give birth is no way forcing her not to abort.

if telling someone if they abort you will no longer want to go out with them is forcing her to give birth then saying if you dont abort you can get emancipated is forcing her to abort.

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Posted: 10-02-06 13:21pm


^^^^^^^^^^^^agreed