Please Respond, Not Sure What to Do Posted: 01-26-04 02:14am
As everyone knows we are ttc for #1 and
both mick and I come from big families and
have u ever noticed that when u r trying
for a baby all around everyone is either
pregnant or about to give birth.
Micks cousin went into labour the other
day, through to full term but it was not a
happy ending the baby was still born. Of
course the family is devastated as r our
cousins. I couldnt go to see them but
mick did he brought the parents home from
the hospital, this has been a shock for
both of us to have it happen so close to
home is unreal.
Mick was telling me about it he said when
he got to the hospital they had the baby
girl in the room with them and he could
hardly contain his grief, we now here they
are thinking of having an open coffin at
the funeral which is this week.
My question is how do I help mick through
this traumatic experience as well as
myself and his cousins. We just dont
know wot to say, im at a loss for words.
Any advice would be so welcomed
u r all wonderful here and I just dont
know wot to do
from someone who cant wait to have a jelly
bean all of their own
p.S. Wot makes this story even more
unbelievable is that they had no other
family where we live except us and when
they rang marcia's mother all she could
say was it was the best thing that could
have happened. Wot sort of a mother says
this about their daughter and
granddaughter. R ppl really this
heartless.
|
purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-26-04 08:04am
Yes, some people are truly heartless, but
sometimes it's their way of dealing with
their grief, especially at a distance.They
say that it "must" have been for the best
for some reason as it's the only way they
cab face it. And so they feel that maybe
if the parents think that the baby was so
sick that it would have died anyway it's
better for it to die sooner rather than
later - or of course she could just be a
health forum!
My cousin's wife had a full term girl who
died just after birth, 17 years later they
have 5 children all healthy! So there is
hope. They never found out what happened
to melissa but there were no complications
with any of the others.
There's nothing you can say, just be there
for mick & for them, hold them, keep
people away who are annoying them or going
on for too long, take care of stupid
stuff, like junk mail, strangers at the
door etc. Make some food that is easy to
heat when & if they feel like eating
& so on. Do the same for mick. As to
the open coffin, not my thing, but it's
their child so must be their choice.
|
insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 01-26-04 09:50am
I'm sorry this happened to your family.
I know I would be lost for words also.
However, I believe that you need to be
there, the best you can. Death is
something that most people can't even
think to face. And in the moment that
your family was to have joy, they were
ripped to shreads. Kind words, will be
the best comfort for now. And as far as
the open casket...I believe it is a great
choice. The respects for the child will
be a nice closure (if you can call it
that).
Good luck, sweetie,
jennifer
|
allusivepond
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2003 Posts: 452
Posted: 01-26-04 22:58pm
Thank you to you both I read both ur posts
and they really touched my heart. Mick
and I have been talking about our own
children and coping and things like that
and he is starting to grieve I guess is
the word for it, I didnt realise how hard
it really hit him.
I guess its times like these u really
appreciate wot u have and treasure every
moment u have with ur family and with ur
loved ones
from someone who cant wait to have a jelly
bean all of their own
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