What Can People Do to Help the Abused? Posted: 10-07-06 21:41pm
My next-door neighbor is a man who is a
waste of flesh. His long term girlfriend
lives with him. He is verbally and
physically abusive to her. We have often
listened to them fight with our hands on
the 911 dial. Tonight, we had to call.
He was pulling her around, slapping and
hitting her in the street. She walked
off, he followed, and in the course of
events he saw the phone in my boyfriend's
hand. We went into the house, but we
could hear the tirade of 'f-this' and
'f-that' and how he was going to beat us
and do this and that to us for calling the
cops. You could hear her crying and
saying "but you always start it" and he's
being very foul mouthed to her and
eventually they left. Came back, more
screaming "you've got it coming, buddy!"
to my boyfriend.
I am shaken; here i've seen this man hit
this woman, and then physically threaten
myself, my boyfriend, and our dogs. I
don't believe the police ever showed.
Later, I saw the girlfriend sitting out
back, crying, and he's doing more
yelling-"let's get out of here you b*tch"
et cetera...
I can handle my own feelings about the
matter, but I would like to know if there
is anything I can do for the girlfriend.
If I talk to her and she is hostile
towards me, she could tell him and I could
be the subject of retaliation...
For those who were abused and chose to
stay in the relationship, is there
anything you wished someone would have
done for you???
The whole thing has given me a whopping
headache. Any responses would be better
than aspirin!
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 10-07-06 23:10pm
Has your b/f tried to talk to her and have
you tried to talk to her, I know that
their are some women that will just not
listen no matter what you do,
unfortunately and I would have given
anything for someone to be there to help
me when I was having the crud being beaten
out of me. Some women are made to
believe that they cannot get any better
and once I did get away from him he came
over drunk and shot at me, thank goodness
he was drunk! Their are so many places
for females to go nowadays that they did
not have in my time. Now the cops will
arrest the male and the female will go get
them out the next day and the guy will get
more mad for getting arrested so sometimes
you are in a no win situation and they
will blame it on someone and it will
probably be you and your b/f. I wish I
could say it would help but I don't know
the whole situation and peole are a lot
different then they used to be and I have
been in a situation similar to you and
they were both kind of off the wall , yes,
I did feel sorry for her and he would have
killed her as he has a post-war syndrome
problem so but they finally ended up
moving away.
Good luck to whatever you decide to do, I
hope they do not hurt either of you or
your animals!
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Birch
Moderator
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3702 Location: Bliss
Thanks: 65
Thanked:9
Posted: 10-08-06 23:10pm
Thanks sandy for your input. She is very
hostile towards us whenever we interact.
I don't think the cops showed at all. He
has been out and seen us outside and not
said anything. I suspect he was quite
drunk last night. I wish like crazy he'd
drink himself into a drunken coma.
I've talked to other people and i"m
becoming more convinced that there's
nothing I can do for her. She has to
figure out that she doesn't need to be
there anymore. That way she won't bail
him or out keep going back due to whatever
psychological hold he has on her. She
has to want it herself, and there's not
much I can do about it.
We'd sure like to move.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 10-31-06 14:17pm
birch
wrote:
i've talked to other people and i"m
becoming more convinced that there's
nothing I can do for her. She has to
figure out that she doesn't need to be
there anymore. That way she won't bail
him or out keep going back due to whatever
psychological hold he has on her. She
has to want it herself, and there's not
much I can do about it.
We'd sure like to
move.
thats exactly what I was going to say to
you.I was in a similar situation about a
month ago.Maybe not as brutal at the
moment but it was bad.You really cant
approach someone about it unless you know
them well enough really.If people would
have tried to get me away from him I would
have been ok,but then when he wasn't
drinking we would still be toegether and
it was a never ending cycle.I finally
moved my things out on my own.Its just,you
have to get to that breaking point and she
isn't there yet.She may never get there.
|
Beatriz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2006 Posts: 1 Location: Florida
Abusive Relationship And Dometic Violence Hotline Posted: 11-18-06 10:47am
There is no easy solution for domestic
abuse,
family and friends support is. Reporting
the abuse and counseling the victim can
save her life.
National domestic violence hotline
1-800-799-safe (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (tty)
beatriz
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Re: Abusive Relationship And Dometic Violence Hotline Posted: 12-01-06 13:13pm
beatriz
wrote:
there is no easy solution
for domestic abuse,
family and friends support is. Reporting
the abuse and counseling the victim can
save her life.
National domestic violence hotline
1-800-799-safe (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (tty)
beatriz
it doesn't matter if
family or friends call.Someone may come to
ivestigate but it will make no difference
if the girl of the abuser tells them
everyhting is ok.*she* has to do something
about it.
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