Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 131 Location: I'm a Yettie!
Scared For the 13th of October Posted: 10-11-06 21:14pm
Hello-
well I finally made up my shaky mind- I am
getting out of this abusive relationship.
I took two paid days off, and my parents
are going to help me move out. I am
scared, though. Mainly of his reactions.
I hate that he lives so close to my
family. I don't want anything to happen
to them!
I might possibly look into getting a
restraining order, friday morning. I
have to move all of my things out, because
I am afraid he won't let me leave so
easily. This is the thing:
we co-signed a 1-yr lease together. I
furnished the apartment with the
furniture. We have been fighting
non-stop since we've moved in there in
early august. He started becoming more
threatening... Now, he is playing mind
games with me, telling me I need to tell
him my itinary for the day, call him at
least a couple times a day, and tells me
he "listens" for me to tell him I love
him. He insists I talk to my ex in front
of him whenever he calls [the ex is
fiancially tied to me through a car loan,
nothing else & lives 5 states away,]
gets agressive during sex, always places a
hand on my neck, tightly in a choking
manner- I help my father out with his
typing [professor,] and sometimes, I have
to stay late..He gets mad with that. He
wants so much attention, I can't stand it
anymore. I'm two years younger than
him..And he always talks down to me,
discharged from the army [won't tell me
why,] just very demanding, mean, and
selfish. I shouldn't have to report
in..And whenever we fight- i'm always
crying. It's like he gets off on me
doing that. He's brought up some things
that I told to him in confidence, during
fights, to upset me more. Always has to
throw a jab, making it hurt.. Like
telling me I wasn't good in bed anyways,
and he's glad i'm leaving.
Well now the ball is in my court. He has
no idea I am moving all my things out of
the apartments, and cancelling the
utilies. I will directly pay rent [my
portion] to the leasing office. I know
in my mind and heart I am doing the right
thing, and no person diserves the
treatment he gives me. I just wish for
some support that I can do this. That
what he's done, isn't right and I will be
ok.
I just have to remember to breath. Who
would have thought..On friday the 13th?
Creepy.. More so, scary to me. All I
care about, is my family's safey. I know
he's going to come over, and be really,
really mad at me.. But I don't know of
any other way to move on with my life.
Please, someone reassure me that I am
going to be ok?
Miss depressed
|
RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 131 Location: I'm a Yettie!
Posted: 10-11-06 21:37pm
There are 7 of you who read this..?
Please- I have to go over there now- I
need this assurance!!
Miss depressed
|
maia
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2006 Posts: 49
Posted: 10-11-06 21:40pm
Ok, move out friday and if he comes over
do not let him in the house. If he won't
leave then call the police and have him
removed from the property.. Also an
excellent time to ask the cops about
getting a restraining order.. They will
explain it better since they know your
local laws.
So if you do want to talk to him after you
move out.. For closure or whatever..
Meet him in public to talk. Like a
restaurant. If he just has to contact you
for something else remind him of all the
other ways to communicate.. Phones, text
messages, internet, even the mail if he
wants.
You will be fine, i'm sure.. Just be
safe. If he gets too out of hand that's
what the police are for. If you think
he'll start stalking you, invest in some
mace.
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Ingi
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8783 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
Posted: 10-11-06 22:19pm
I agree with the previous poster. You
know what you need to do for you. Do it.
Move out. You have a supportive family
and that's great. It sounds like you
haven't been living together too long, so
you won't have many things intertwined.
Move on with your life.
If he comes after you, get a restraining
order. They aren't difficult to get, go
to your local court house.
Good luck.
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kassienicole
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 5
Posted: 10-11-06 23:23pm
Although i've personally never been in a
situation like that, I really really hope
that you can start over and be with
someone who values you for who you are and
loves you for who you are, I think
everyone deserves that. Your doing the
right thing, just get out. This is your
assurance, but more than anything, you
need to be your assurance. I dont know
if youve already left so u didnt get this
message, either way I wish you the best,
you can do it! Its all for the best!
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 131 Location: I'm a Yettie!
Posted: 10-12-06 07:53am
Thank you, thank you, thankyou!
It's been hard, putting up an act these
last two days, for him. He has no clue
that I am taking my things, [basically all
of the furniture/bed] and moving back
home. The only thing that sucks, is that
I have to still pay rent, since my name is
also on the lease. But, I would rather
keep my sanity and health a priority 1st.
I have all the utilies in my name. I've
brought it up, before, that if I decide to
leave, what would happen to those? He
told me I would have to pay half still,
even if I am not there using them.
Originally, 2 months prior, he was suppose
to leave- and he would sign over the lease
to me. Well, he's made it clear, that he
has no intentions of leaving, and wants me
to suffer. So, I have no other choice.
I am not letting this kid ruin/control my
life anymore! The only other thing- is
if I shut off the utilites [which will
cause a lapse, and we will both be
penalized with an increased rent payment.]
but, I will have them out of my name, not
risking him raising the bills up high
enough to where I cannot afford to pay
them, and ruin my credit. I hate to do
that.. But does anyone else see any other
way?
That, and having all the furniture taken..
The place will be looking pretty patheic.
Thats when it's going to go bad..And I
know he will come after me at my parent's
house. I'm glad I only invested 3 months
into this relationship..And not longer.
Now that I think about it more..[which I
didn't think it would be possible to at
this point,] I hope he does come over, so
I can get a restraining order.
I think though, this will be the end of my
dating life for at least 1 yr. I want to
finish college, get a new car and go on a
warm vacation somewhere. I know with him
in my life..I cannot obtain any of those
goals. Why are guys such a-holes??
Miss depressed
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 10-12-06 13:49pm
missdepressed
wrote:
i think though, this will be the end of my
dating life for at least 1 yr. I want
to finish college, get a new car and go on
a warm vacation somewhere. I know with
him in my life..I cannot obtain any of
those goals. Why are guys such
a-holes??
Miss
depressed
hey girl! I'm right
there with you! Pahleassse bring me with
you! Lol I need to get out too.I am
thinking about buying myself a new car and
go to school for a vetrinarian.Please tell
me how things went after its done.I'm
thinking about you!
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Auzzie_Wanting_To_Help
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Feb 2007 Posts: 214 Location: Australia
Posted: 02-11-07 21:55pm
.Hey! I know that this is a delayed reply
but I just wanted to say a couple of
things....
1. Congratulations on getting the guts to
stand up for yourself and move out! It
takes alot of strength to do that!
2. Im not sure about other countries but
in australia you can get the police to put
in a request to take your name off the
lease so you can move out and be out of
the abusive relationship....It might be
something to look into!
Let us know how you are going and if your
ex is still in contact with you....
