Lonely And Really Need Help! Posted: 10-12-06 01:03am
I am 19 and I have completely no life. I
have not gone outside of my house except
for school and work. I constantly stay at
my house dreaming one day I could go out
and have fun like most people. I have
never had a girlfriend, never dated, and
really never had a friend as a girl. I
know people at school and work, but I
never do anything with them for reasons I
still do not know. I know that I have
really low self esteem, I cant talk to
alot of people because I am so scared of
what they might think of me. Everyday I
see people talking to each other and I am
usually by myself. I have not had any fun
since I was in 11th grade. I thought
going to college would help me make
friends and meet girls, but it hasnt.
People always get a girl/boyfriend in
college, yet I have not and probably never
will. I am just a normal guy who wants
friends but I never get any probably
because I am so shy. I wish I could just
talk to people and finally be happy in
life, but everyday that goes by and I am
lonely, I contemplate suicide because I
think that I will be lonely for the rest
of my life. By my age you should have
atleast dated, but I have never done that.
Nothing ever changes for me, I thought
maybe things would get better, but it all
stayed the same. I promised myself that
if I dont have any friends or girlfriend
by the time I am 25, I probably will
committ suicide because I think there is
no point in living if your are going to be
really lonely like me. I tried to talk to
people on the internet but that is not the
same, but I guess talking to someone is
better than talking to no one. So if
anyone can give me advice I would really
appreciate because I just want to be
lonely. Thanks to all and I hope everyone
else's life is doing better than mine.
|
chky_minx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 37
Posted: 10-12-06 01:18am
Maybe what your problem really is - you
want to find happiness from others... It
doesn't matter if you are alone as long as
you are happy with your own company... A
lot of people are having the same problems
as you do... But the solution goes two
ways - one, they do something about it
(join classes that they enjoy not just
where they can meet people) and two, they
wait for somebody else to do about it...
A "doer" and a "slacker"...Which one are
you?...
If people see you happy just being on your
own - that will drive them to you...Cause
you feel good, that can also make them
feel good...People don't want to be stuck
with somebody who is totally miserable
when they have an option not to... Would
you? Would you prefer the company of a
whining misserable sod over a chirpy
happy person who could make you smile?
It's your choice what you want to do with
your life...Not theirs...Do something that
would make you happy...
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 10-12-06 08:26am
chky_minx
wrote:
maybe what your problem
really is - you want to find happiness
from others... It doesn't matter if you
are alone as long as you are happy with
your own company... A lot of people are
having the same problems as you do...
But the solution goes two ways - one, they
do something about it (join classes that
they enjoy not just where they can meet
people) and two, they wait for somebody
else to do about it... A "doer" and a
"slacker"...Which one are you?...
If people see you happy just being on your
own - that will drive them to you...Cause
you feel good, that can also make them
feel good...People don't want to be stuck
with somebody who is totally miserable
when they have an option not to... Would
you? Would you prefer the company of a
whining misserable sod over a chirpy
happy person who could make you smile?
It's your choice what you want to do with
your life...Not theirs...Do something that
would make you
happy...
I agree.You have the
power to changet hings,and sitting around
doing nothing,isn't helping to get out and
meet people.What do you look like? I bet
you have plenty of great qualities about
you and you just dont see them
|
nick19
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 May 2006 Posts: 5
Posted: 10-12-06 17:33pm
I think that the ultimate problem I have
is I am scared of rejection. I know I
can ask some people to do something with
but I always feel like they wont want to
do anything with me. I know the reason I
am by myself is because I dont ask anyone
anything, but if I could ever get over
that I really think things might get
better. Does anyone have advice on how
to get over that fear and ask someone to
do something? Thanks for all advice
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 10-12-06 23:08pm
We've all been rejected at one thing or
another..........................Work,
friends, girlfriends/boyfriends and even
complete strangers.....................But
doing nothing and hiding from the world
will only make you
sad...............................Take
risks and chances, buddy...........You can
do it.....................We all fail,
fall flat on our a**es, but the difference
is...................You get back
up................Someone rejects
you................Fine! It's all their
problem..............Not
yours..............Move
on.............Grow a
backbone................And say to he**
with you ..............................I'm
gonna have fun..................Do
something....................Anything!....
..................And report
back...............Think of
something................Anything you have
an even remote interest
in...............Pursue
it..................Trust
me............You will feel better about
yourself.
Getting over the
fear?...................Practice..........
.Practice...........Can't practice by
yourself? Listen to the
ladies.............They are offering you
wisdom from years of experience.
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2500 Location: ,
Thanks: 14
Thanked:10
Posted: 10-13-06 06:01am
Look you need to go to a therapist and get
that depression under control.
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 74
Thanked:104
Posted: 10-13-06 10:34am
Honestly first off you need to build your
self-esteem, this is the first step to
resolving your issue. I hate when people
health forum about something but then dont
do something about it!!!
Alot of us can understand you alot of us
have been in that sitiuation but you have
defeat it and get confidence without being
c0cky. Personally there is a few things
you can do;
~kickboxing
~going to a gym
~playing music
~find a hobby and put everything into it
~sports
~etc
just remeber this no matter what happenes,
its your family who will pick you up after
a fall, so if something happens remeber to
turn to them they can sometimes give the
best advice.
Besides that this is an issue you need to
deal with on your own, if you want you can
seek medical help such as phyciahtrist and
they can help without and "pills."
put one foot front,then the second foot
and now your walking~
"life is like climbing a ladder, when you
fall it hurts but when your at the top its
is unbelieveable." (jl)
|
stormyf2
Supporter
Joined: 16 Mar 2006 Posts: 146 Location: Canada
Posted: 10-14-06 03:50am
19 this is very young! Give yourself
time....U may need some short term
medication, I met my fiance at 32 years of
age! I also never left my house except
for work, but one day I just said u gotta
try, and plentyoffish.Com is where I went
and it worked, im not saying it will for u
but you won;t know from the couch! They
dont come to you!!! Trust me
|
kriger
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Posts: 7
Posted: 10-16-06 20:27pm
Rejection is never nice to deal with mate
but we all go through it. Hell we all go
through getting our hearts broken but we
live. I mean sure it's not as easy as
just walking upto someone in the middle of
the street and saying hey let's hang out
but there are people you know at college
and i'm sure that being in a college there
are events and groups and things like that
going on.
It's even as simple as just asking a mate
from work if they want to go have a drink
or something when you're done.
You really have no need to be shy at
all...I really know how you feel I used to
be shy of everything and everyone then one
day I just said medical question it and
now I know so many people it sickens me.
Lol.
Just go for it and if someone says
anything nasty to you in life just medical
question it...Don't take notice of what
people say unless it's what you want to
hear good luck with
everything mate, i'm sure you'll be
fine.
Ps. And don't ever think about suicide,
it's really not worth it in the end, you
still have family that care and love you.
You would leave them in a right state if
you did something silly like that.
|
iwishiknew
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 31 Location: Illinois
Re: Lonely And Really Need Help! Posted: 10-17-06 18:49pm
nick19
wrote:
i am 19 and I have
completely no life. I have not gone
outside of my house except for school and
work. I constantly stay at my house
dreaming one day I could go out and have
fun like most people. I have never had
a girlfriend, never dated, and really
never had a friend as a girl. I know
people at school and work, but I never do
anything with them for reasons I still do
not know. I know that I have really low
self esteem, I cant talk to alot of people
because I am so scared of what they might
think of me. Everyday I see people
talking to each other and I am usually by
myself. I have not had any fun since I
was in 11th grade. I thought going to
college would help me make friends and
meet girls, but it hasnt. People always
get a girl/boyfriend in college, yet I
have not and probably never will. I am
just a normal guy who wants friends but I
never get any probably because I am so
shy. I wish I could just talk to people
and finally be happy in life, but everyday
that goes by and I am lonely, I
contemplate suicide because I think that I
will be lonely for the rest of my life.
By my age you should have atleast dated,
but I have never done that. Nothing
ever changes for me, I thought maybe
things would get better, but it all stayed
the same. I promised myself that if I
dont have any friends or girlfriend by the
time I am 25, I probably will committ
suicide because I think there is no point
in living if your are going to be really
lonely like me. I tried to talk to
people on the internet but that is not the
same, but I guess talking to someone is
better than talking to no one. So if
anyone can give me advice I would really
appreciate because I just want to be
lonely. Thanks to all and I hope
everyone else's life is doing better than
mine.
i am kinda in your shoes I am 28 years old
and I today I still never had a gf or a
girl as a friend..Its really tough! Its
terrible to be lonely...When I was your
age I never had a gf and thought as the
years go by that I will meet that special
girl..Well 10 yrs flew by and still today
I am still single and still haven't kissed
a girl...Try your best, don't end up like
me..If you think 18 is bad its not...Being
28 is worse!
|
Honekaur
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2006 Posts: 56
It's Not All Bad... Posted: 11-25-06 18:55pm
Dating isn't all what it's cracked up to
be. See my post "what a rotten day" and
you'll know why. I just broke up with my
boyfriend today and I am alone for the
first time in more then four years. I'm
scared and the nights will be lonely. I
feel really alone right now but I do have
a few really good friends who are willing
to listen. If you have confidence in
yourself and do not go searching for
someone, then you will find somebody. I
know that for a fact. When I was in high
school, I had low self-esteem and I had
maybe only one or two guys friends, who
were taken of course. Then along my
senior year, I suddenly gained confidence
in myself. I messed around with a lot of
guys, but didn't have any relationships.
So I got mad and gave up on that, and gave
up looking for a guy. Then one night at
a party a guy pretty much falls in my lap
and we date for four years. Just be
confident. Don't slouch when you walk.
Smile. Wear clothes that look good on
you. Have fun!
good luck with
everything mate, i'm sure you'll be
fine.
