Working Toward Making Things Better..for Me. Posted: 10-16-06 11:48am
Sorry if this seems long or stupid but I
just want to get everything off my
chest...
I was just in a year and 4-5 month
relationship with a guy who I thought
loved me and I did love him.....When we
first got together we got along
wonderfully, he was sweet, funny, and
loved being around me...And I loved being
around him.Then we started arguing.
Shouting matches, throwing things...Then
one day he got really mad at me and pulled
my hair..And I broke up with him a week
later.
He convinced me he was sorry, and I took
him back (after *stupidly* trying things
with my previous ex..And realizing it
would never work). Of course things were
different..But anyways, as time went on,
we argued more and more, usually over the
fact that he was convinced I was cheating
on him with my ex, which I wasn't, nor had
I ever cheated on him with anyone, but he
didn't seem to think I was telling the
truth. The next huge argument we had, I
was at his house, he grabbed me by the
neck and lifted me off his bed (he's very
strong..) pulled out a good fourth of my
hair, and called the cops to have me
removed from his house. I wasn't leaving
because I was hysterical and knew I was
not fit to drive, but he didn't care...
And, for some reason, after all that, I
took him back yet again...2 weeks later.
Then, when I was 6 months pregnant, I
found out I was pregnant (sounds stupid I
know, another story for another time..)
with his child. He was not happy...But he
dealt with it..Until I was 38 weeks along
and about ready to deliver. We got into a
huge argument, and I started to walk home
from his house because when we get into
fights like that, I know it's better to
just walk away..But unfortunately he
didn't see it that way. He chased me down
and dragged me back to his house
(literally, dragged) and it was then I
realized that people don't care about
anyone besides themselves. All of his
neighbors saw me being dragged, very
obviously pregnant, and screaming and
crying for him to let me go, but nobody
ever came to my help.
And of course, being the complete and
total fool I am, I took him back..I didn't
want to be alone during my pregnancy, so I
took him back...
And now for the final episode...
On october 12th, he called me at 2:30 in
the morning, crying and begging me to come
over. We had argued earlier that day
because I was convinced he had been
cheating on me for many reasons, and he
wanted to talk...So I get there, and we
talk..Get along fine...And finally he fell
asleep. So I get curious, not to mention
stupid, and go through his phone because
his stories just weren't adding up...And
find over 100 text messages between him
and a girl who I thought was my friend
talking about how happy they are together
and so on...So I was right....He had been
cheating on me for who knows how
long...And I wake him up to confront him
about it. My exact words were "how come
you told me you haven't been cheating when
you have been!" and he just looked at
me..And his face turned from confusion to
anger. He started out by saying "what the
hell are you talking about" to making
excuses like "i was trying to comfort her
since her boyfriend died just a while
ago!" (her boyfriend who he claimed was
his best friend) then he grabbed me by the
throat with his arm in a stranglehold and
told me I should have never woken him like
that, that I should've asked before just
confronting..And all the while I was
trying to fight him off, but as he is very
strong I couldn't..And I couldn't breathe.
He then rolled over and put his hands
around my throat and continued strangling
me...And I kept trying to choke out
"you're going to kill me..Please
stop..You're going to kill me!" and he
just responded with "if I wanted you dead
you'd be dead by now". He then started
reaching for my phone, which I broke (fool
move #8544728) because I had been talking
on the phone with my ex just earlier that
night, and I knew if he found that out he
would be infuriated. Well..After I broke
my phone, he became even more furious and
continued choking me and yelling at me,
jabbing me as hard as he could in the eye
and saying "you're such a doing it lying
health forum! I knew you were cheating
all this time!" I tried to explain I
wasn't cheating, I was only talking as
friends, but then he grabbed me by the
shoulders and head butted me as hard as he
could...And cracked my head open. I
started gushing blood all over..And that
seemed to bring him back to reality. He
quickly reached for a towel to hold up to
my head, and I was screaming "i can't
believe you did this! Look what you did!"
he grabbed me and covered my mouth and
said "if you don't shut up, you will lose
your life"....So I became really quiet
really quick. His roommate then burst in,
apparently just now had been woken up, and
she took me to the hospital.
My point is...Please, if you are in an
abusive relationship, get out as soon as
you can! There is no stopping your
partner from killing you..Even if he
"loves" you. Please..Don't let what
happened to me happen to you.
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 10-17-06 11:01am
Omg! Wow you went through a lot! I have
to ask,after all that how is your child?Is
s/he ok?
I was thinking the entire time I was
reading it."don't go back,why are you
going back?" but I understand.I myself
just got out of an abusive
relationshipp.Thank god it did not end as
badly as your did,but it could have.At a
couple of points during our fight he tried
to puch me down the stairs and kicked me
in my back one of those times.He was
drunk.If he had used all his strength I
could be dead.Your right its not love and
no one should put up with it.Hitting is
.N.O.T love!
|
broken guitarist
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Oct 2006 Posts: 6 Location: Calgary AB.Canada
Posted: 10-22-06 16:21pm
melissa_20
wrote:
omg! Wow you went through
a lot! I have to ask,after all that how
is your child?Is s/he ok?
I was thinking the entire time I was
reading it."don't go back,why are you
going back?" but I understand.I myself
just got out of an abusive
relationshipp.Thank god it did not end as
badly as your did,but it could have.At a
couple of points during our fight he tried
to puch me down the stairs and kicked me
in my back one of those times.He was
drunk.If he had used all his strength I
could be dead.Your right its not love and
no one should put up with it.Hitting is
.N.O.T love!
i can sympathize I have been in an abusive
relationship for years now,but for some
unknown reason I stayed.She has done
everything from spitting in my face(x3) to
clawing my face and body till I bled and I
have a perfect imprint of her teeth upper
end lower on my right forearm.
As of last week she has been with another
guy and is leaving me for him,the affair
has been going on for a month,and I just
found out about it.
If I know one thing for sure .I will never
take her back,the time shes been away has
made me see how she treated me ......Get
away...Stay away
good luck to all
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 10-22-06 17:59pm
I know exactly how you feel! I kept on
going back and forth with a couple of my
ex's and after being kicked in the stomach
at 5 and 1/2 months pregnant, I finally
learned and in tose days you had no places
to go like you do now! I used to get soo
tired of hearing, oh, I will change, sure
it is okay for about 2 weeks and then it
is the same ole stuff. Yes, I do agree
with you that a lot of us are lucky to
still be alive and it makes it very
difficult to trust anyone anymore. I was
even fortunate to be able to carry 2
pregnancy's until term with all of the
damage. I really do not understand why
men have to be that way, they either must
be miserable or havr had a miserable past.
I am just thankful now that I have a good
man that treats me right and I hope the
rest of you can find the same thing. I
agree, please don't stay with these types
of people, their are much better out
there, don't put up with this mental and
physical abuse, it is not your fault!
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 10-25-06 14:04pm
broken guitarist
wrote:
i can sympathize I have been in an abusive
relationship for years now,but for some
unknown reason I stayed.She has done
everything from spitting in my face(x3) to
clawing my face and body till I bled and I
have a perfect imprint of her teeth upper
end lower on my right forearm.
As of last week she has been with another
guy and is leaving me for him,the affair
has been going on for a month,and I just
found out about it.
If I know one thing for sure .I will never
take her back,the time shes been away has
made me see how she treated me ......Get
away...Stay away
good luck to all
i'm so sorry to hear
that.My x brought home a girl from the bar
while we were stil together. . .And the
night we broke up for good,he was at his
friends house hanging out with some
strippers. . .One of them was sitting
next to him, overdosed and he had the
nerve to call me at 5 int eh morning and
tell me to call the police cause she
needed help and he didn't want to be
involved. . .I knwo how you feel.Stay
away from that b*tch! Youdon't deserve
all that.You seem like a good guy and you
can do better than her.Her and my x
deserve each other! Let the other guy
have her,he'll see one day what she's all
about!
sandyallen
wrote:
i hope the rest of you can
find the same thing. I agree, please
don't stay with these types of people,
their are much better out there, don't put
up with this mental and physical abuse, it
is not your fault!
thanks sandy.I hope to
find someone one day but its so hard.Iv'e
only come across one person who was true
to me but the spark wasn't there.I'm
starting to think I wo't find anyone. .
.Good luck to everyone!
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