Alright, I am a 14 year old sophomore in
high school. I have a best friend,
actually, I have feelings for her in more
ways than that, but that is a different
story. Anyways, this best friend just
revealed to me that ever since her
boyfriend, who oddly enough tried to
sexually take advantage of her, dumped
her, she has been cutting, a few months.
Naturally, this completely ripped the life
right out of me, I am not her to get help
for myself, I am here to find out how I
might help this person. I really care
about this person, and made sure to
establish that I think they are amazing,
and they have no one else but themself to
thank for that, and that I will always be
there for them. However, I am stuck at a
major dillema, it seems the only way I
have read to get someone help, is
professionally. She asked me not to let
anyone know, and not to treat her
different, the second I can do, but the
first, I am having trouble. I want her
to be happy more than anything, I would
throw myself in the way if I could take
the pain for her. I want her to be
happy, however, I am not sure how to help
her, she is a 15 year old female. Is
there any other way to help other than
professionally? If so, please let me
know, I am worried. Also, what do you
interpret of this situation?
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keders
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Oct 2006 Posts: 1
Posted: 10-25-06 02:10am
Hi! I think that first of all, you did an
awesome thing by accepting her and what
she's going through. There are many
people who turn and run at the thought of
people who cut, are depressed or suffer
from anxiety.
I'm a 17 year old girl and am working
through depression and anxiety right now.
A few months ago I began cutting. I can't
say what brought about the idea of
cutting, but no the less...It became a
very temporary solution to my hurt. And
from the sounds of it, while I certainly
am no doctor (although I see way too
many!!), your friend may be suffering from
depression. Depression is very common for
teens and when anyone goes through a
tramatic experiance like it sounds your
friend did.
In the case of cutting. I found it felt
as through I was releving some of the pain
everytime I did. As if, physical pain was
more bareable then the emotional pain I
was feeling. For your friend I can't
speak for, there are many reasons why
people cut, but I do think that it does
need professional help.
And I know thats tough because you don't
want to hurt your friend anymore than she
already is, but a counsellor, psychologist
or therepist would be able to work through
the reasons why your friend is cutting. I
would suggest sitting down with her and
frankly discussing the idea of talking to
someone. She may not like to hear it at
first, I know I didn't, but she will thank
you later, after she begins to see a
"light at the end of the tunnel" as they
say.
When it comes to immediate help for her
without talking to a professional, there
are several good sites if you search
through google, which list things for your
friend to do when she feels the need to
cut. For me, snapping a rubber band
against my wrist where I wanted to cut
usually helped. I still felt the sting,
but wasn't cutting.
It won't be an easy road for your friend,
or for you as you help her through this.
But it seems that you are one of thoose
people specifically in a persons life at a
specific time to help them through what
they may not be able to otherwise. I know
for me I was fortunate enough to have
someone like that as well and more then
meds and doctors, having a friend to be
able to openly share with and depend on is
the cure.
Good luck.
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jessfanem
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 27
Angel In Flesh Posted: 10-30-06 10:49am
I agree 100% with keders. You are
definately playing your friends angel and
that is very nobel of you. I too have
played the angel in flesh of a cutter. I
ironically, just got treated in an
institution for having become a cutter
myself. Obviously I have credibility on
the topic your friend will
benefit greatly from professional help.
Hovever, this can be a difficult thing to
convince someone else to do. I think you
would do better to do as I did for my
friend. I let him know I was there for
him. I told him when he felt like
cutting, to call me instead and the few
times that he did not, his sister did.
His family became aware of his coping
device and recognized me as the only
relief to his pain. I talked him through
his problems or better yet listened.
Try this and I wish you all the best of
luck. Enjoy your wings
your friend will
benefit greatly from professional help.
Hovever, this can be a difficult thing to
convince someone else to do. I think you
would do better to do as I did for my
friend. I let him know I was there for
him. I told him when he felt like
cutting, to call me instead and the few
times that he did not, his sister did.
His family became aware of his coping
device and recognized me as the only
relief to his pain. I talked him through
his problems or better yet listened.
Try this and I wish you all the best of
luck. Enjoy your wings 