Medical Abortion Forum - Why Are You Here?


Why Are You Here?

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Medical Questions

Why Are You Here?

I am here because I am nto sure if Abortion is the right thing to do.

11%

[ 1 ]

I am here to support you in your choise to Abort.

88%

[ 8 ]

I regret my abortion and I am here to tell you that there are other choices.

[ 0 ]

Total Votes : 9

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EugeniaBrown

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Why Are You Here? Posted: 10-29-06 19:26pm


Last edited by EugeniaBrown on 11-04-06 16:10pm; edited 1 time in total

Tylanas

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Re: Why Are You Here?
Posted: 10-29-06 22:33pm

eugeniabrown wrote:

i have stirred some emotions in the existing topics, but my only reason to post in this forum is to share my own experience. I know that because my views on abortion are different that most of the active members on this forum, which may cause me my membership. But am just very curious why do people come to this forum. I hope you do not mind taking participating in this poll.

well it stirred emotions because this is an abortion support forum, so if you're not supportive of abortion as a choice, then you and your opinions belong on the debate forum, not the support forum.

EugeniaBrown

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Re: Why Are You Here? Posted: 10-30-06 10:07am


Last edited by EugeniaBrown on 11-04-06 16:12pm; edited 1 time in total

Tylanas

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Re: Why Are You Here?
Posted: 10-30-06 10:48am

eugeniabrown wrote:

eiri wrote:

well it stirred emotions because this is an abortion support forum, so if you're not supportive of abortion as a choice, then you and your opinions belong on the debate forum, not the support forum.

dear eiri,

it looks that you have somethin to do with administration of this forum. First of all it is not quiet clear from the structure of this website which is what. It seams that there are three general forums on abortion. abortion, abortion pro life, abortion pro choise. The reason I am posting here is that this particular forum is not specified as "pro choice".

If abortion contains posts and topics on both sides of the issue, you can sort out thsi trough your c-panel. I think in would be much better to eleminate the general forum.... My husband is a web master I asked him about this forum, he told me that in order to make dramatic changes to web site like this you will have to consider adsense loses, whatever that means...... Anyway it's just a suggestion. If you are administrator, jobe nicely done!

i am unfortunately only a moderator with the power to delete and edit posts on the pro-choice board.

However, I don't wish to shy you away from the support forum, and i'm glad it hasn't happened. I just wish to remind you and all pro-lifers who come on this forum to help these women that nothing about their pain means it is going to be exactly like the pain you felt.

What worked for you may make things worse for them. Some women have issues not related to their emotions, but just their body. Please remember to take into account how each woman is saying she feels before posting. Telling her it's alright to feel excrutiating emotional pain, or that she should, is not so good an idea, especially if she's simply asking how long she should wait before having sex again.

Also... I don't see this issue happening with you but it has happened with some other people... Saying anything along the lines of "you killed your baby, of course you feel horrible, you murdered it and you are going to hell for it!" is just not acceptable. Even insinuating to the women who aren't feeling remorse that they should be, is not good.

Carifairy

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Posted: 10-30-06 11:21am


True.. Eugenia.. I am well off, married, have a great career, use birth control, and I have had 3 abortions. I do not regret any of my abortions, and I am glad that the abortion was available for me to make. Not all women are going to have regrets, and that is something that pl people have a hard time grasping.

EugeniaBrown

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Posted: 10-30-06 11:30am


Last edited by EugeniaBrown on 11-04-06 16:12pm; edited 1 time in total

EugeniaBrown

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Re: Why Are You Here? Posted: 10-30-06 11:31am


Last edited by EugeniaBrown on 11-04-06 16:12pm; edited 1 time in total

diamondsz

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Re: Why Are You Here?
Posted: 10-30-06 11:50am

If you read what you wrote you are telling woman not to abort because why you had a bad expierence what right does that give you to tell other woman how to live>

eugeniabrown wrote:

would you tell them? It is okay to have and a abortion and that 99.9% of women are just fine after it?
I have been there and let me tell you, there is not a single moment of my life that I do not regret it.

eugeniabrown wrote:

the best way to help women is to to help them to do the right choice and not go through with the abortion.

i think unless you have actually to go through delivery you dont know pain, I honestly think you pro-life but I wont go there cause I dont like to judge. You werent providing support in those two line you were telleing people what to do if they were in thet sitiuation!!!

Everyone results are differen and under 1% are the ones who can suffer complications just like any surgical procedure!

bthomas

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Joined: 23 Oct 2006
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Posted: 10-30-06 12:09pm


Although I appreciate the support in this forum, more than you can imagine. I have to disagree with the previous poster. The rewards of childbirth (gave birth to a 10lb baby with no drugs) far out weigh the pain. I would give birth to 100 babies before I would advocate for a woman to do something she'd regret for the rest of her life. I have said before I am pro-woman. I would rather die than go through my first abortion again. However, the second time I made that decision, it was one of the best i'd ever made, I truly did that to better my life and wish I had more support than I did. Bottom line, I think, is that you don't know the outcome until you actually go through it. You don't know how your emotions or hormones will react to something that can either be quick and easy or very violent and invasive (depending on perception). Eugenia, do you regret the second time as much as the first?

diamondsz

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Posted: 10-30-06 12:31pm

bthomas wrote:

although I appreciate the support in this forum, more than you can imagine. I have to disagree with the previous poster. The rewards of childbirth (gave birth to a 10lb baby with no drugs) far out weigh the pain. I would give birth to 100 babies before I would advocate for a woman to do something she'd regret for the rest of her life. I have said before I am pro-woman. I would rather die than go through my first abortion again. However, the second time I made that decision, it was one of the best i'd ever made, I truly did that to better my life and wish I had more support than I did.
Bottom line, I think, is that you don't know the outcome until you actually go through it. You don't know how your emotions or hormones will react to something that can either be quick and easy or very violent and invasive (depending on perception).
Eugenia, do you regret the second time as much as the first?

how would you know she would regret it, how do you not know she would regret adoption as the emotional range is far more severe for adoption than abortion.

I am pro-choice I have two children I had less physical pain than I did with a d&c which I have slight cramping afterward along with nausea which compared to labour is peanuts. What if the woman had no money no home will you tell her to keep it and live of social assitance the rest of her life. Do you really want to pay taxex so people so can soak the system?

Im not saying maybe you didnt feel something but the fact remain that everyone has a right to choose whether they want to be parents,give baby up for adoption or abortion. Personally my buddy doesnt regret it one bit because she was able to continue her schooling, get married and actually have kids in a relationship full of love!

Everyone is different and although you may have suffered (and I do feel for you) not everyone will react the same way!

bthomas

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Posted: 10-30-06 12:36pm


I didn't mean to come off like that. I wouldn't tell her that she'd regret it, I support her decision and would reassure her no matter what it was that it was the right one. I understand both having an abortion and regretting it and having one and not regretting it... Because i've been on both sides of the spectrum. I just think that there's no way to know who will react in which way to abortion, that's why it's so difficult. Some women go in all gung ho on having one and fall apart afterward, others go in scared and meek and coming out feeling empowered and proud of their decision and filled with relief. I just don't think that it is comparable with childbirth because of the different emotional planes associated with each. One is life, and one is loss.

jenn_smithson

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Posted: 10-30-06 23:29pm

bthomas wrote:

i didn't mean to come off like that. I wouldn't tell her that she'd regret it, I support her decision and would reassure her no matter what it was that it was the right one. I understand both having an abortion and regretting it and having one and not regretting it... Because i've been on both sides of the spectrum. I just think that there's no way to know who will react in which way to abortion, that's why it's so difficult.

that's precisely why this forum, the support forum exists. Prior to some individuals posting on here, generalized support tailored onto to the individual woman's circumstances was the norm. How many threads have I posted on with general, generic information? Tons. How many threads have I posted on where I went out of my way to tell women what they should do based on my own, personal, and extremely subjective history? .N.O.N.E, and I am very proud of that.

However, when you start posting that all women should not have an abortion because you did not have a positive experience, you start running the risk of becomming an obnoxious, self-righteous, unsympathetic demagogue.

Bottom line: .We are here to support individual .Women who have unique experiences and are experiencing abortion in unique ways to them. It does .N.O .O.N.E any good to start spouting self-righteous - "my-abortion-was-the-only-moral-or-right-a bortion-ever-and-other-women-shouldn't-do- it" bull crap. It's disrespectful to the individual .Women who come here seeking our help to read a blanket, generalized condemnation when they are in the middle of their decision. we have no right to tell women what they specifically should or must do.

We may only offer our opinions but those opinions must continue to be supportive of the actual .Women and not supportive of our own personal beliefs.

If you would like to share your experience, there is already a thread available where you can do so. Please feel free to post there and then .Women can look at all of those posts whenever they want to.

Quote:

I just don't think that it is comparable with childbirth because of the different emotional planes associated with each. One is life, and one is loss.

this is a fallacy and a generalization in and of itself. An abortion for an individual .Woman does not have to be about loss. In fact, for me and many others, the abortion can give us back our lives and thus, is all about maintaining life.

We cannot say how any .Woman will react and thus, we cannot make such blanket statements that abortion is this or abortion is about that.

bthomas

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Posted: 10-31-06 06:59am


Precisely why I started that statement with "i don't think" I understand that it's my personal opinion, and I will offer my support where I can on this forum. I didn't see anyone asking for support on this one thread though, it looked like a mini-debate. I've supported a few close friends and relatives through their abortions, I don't mean to come off sounding self-righteous or unsympathetic. And I never said that all women should not have an abortion. I don't believe that. What I said was i would give birth to 100 babies before I would advocate for a woman to do something she'd regret for the rest of her life. I have said before I am pro-woman. That isn't saying that all women will regret it, but I feel sorry for the women that do. And I will voice that, because they are out there. I'm sorry if i've offended anyone, I truly didn't mean to.

diamondsz

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Posted: 10-31-06 10:12am

bthomas wrote:

precisely why I started that statement with "i don't think" I understand that it's my personal opinion, and I will offer my support where I can on this forum. I didn't see anyone asking for support on this one thread though, it looked like a mini-debate.

I've supported a few close friends and relatives through their abortions, I don't mean to come off sounding self-righteous or unsympathetic. And I never said that all women should not have an abortion. I don't believe that. What I said was
i would give birth to 100 babies before I would advocate for a woman to do something she'd regret for the rest of her life. I have said before I am pro-woman.

That isn't saying that all women will regret it, but I feel sorry for the women that do. And I will voice that, because they are out there. I'm sorry if i've offended anyone, I truly didn't mean to.

there is a big difference in your first post and this one, basically I think we had a misundertanding its one thing to voice an opinion and another to tell a woman to do something.

Its just sad cause when alot of teenagers go in they get guilt trips before an abortion and some feel so bad they keep the baby, in the end one who kept her baby had it removed for neglect cause she never had wanted it in the firstplace.

I just believe that if you are going to have a kid you had bloody well be ready for it!!

Sorry forgot to add I volunteer at my local teen shelter

Last edited by diamondsz on 10-31-06 10:15am; edited 1 time in total

bthomas

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Posted: 10-31-06 10:14am


I agree