Desire For Replacement Baby. Posted: 10-30-06 01:09am
Last edited by EugeniaBrown on 11-04-06 00:52am; edited 2 times in total
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 7986 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 116
Thanked:8
Posted: 10-30-06 01:20am
It's break, not brake.
Sorry, carry on.
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EugeniaBrown
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2006 Posts: 94
Posted: 10-30-06 09:37am
ayamiyaki
wrote:
it's break, not brake.
Sorry, carry on.
thank you. Fixed.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 10-30-06 10:24am
My mother aborted when she was 20. She
promptly went on birth control. She
married four years later, and then had me.
Three years later, she had my brother.
She did not tell me of the abortion until
I became sexually active at the age of 20
myself. She became pregnant after her
"first time". I used a condom, and was
fine.
I felt the need to impress her and my dad,
but not because I had an instinctive fear
of being abadoned. I never sensed
anything from my mother to indicate she
had ever aborted. I was just good kid.
My mother is very protective, and
"leaving the nest" has been a very arduous
process, I will say that much. She
doesn't want to let go of me. But that
could just be the type of person she is.
Now, just because one woman can deal with
her abortion, doesn't mean every woman
can. But remember... Just because one
woman can't deal, doesn't mean other women
can't either. It goes both ways.
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EugeniaBrown
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2006 Posts: 94
Posted: 10-30-06 10:31am
Last edited by EugeniaBrown on 11-04-06 16:09pm; edited 1 time in total
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 10-30-06 10:53am
eugeniabrown
wrote:
eiri
wrote:
my mother aborted when she
was 20. She promptly went on birth
control. She married four years later,
and then had me. Three years later, she
had my brother. She did not tell me of
the abortion until I became sexually
active at the age of 20 myself. She
became pregnant after her "first time".
I used a condom, and was fine.
I felt the need to impress her and my dad,
but not because I had an instinctive fear
of being abadoned. I never sensed
anything from my mother to indicate she
had ever aborted. I was just good kid.
My mother is very protective, and
"leaving the nest" has been a very arduous
process, I will say that much. She
doesn't want to let go of me. But that
could just be the type of person she is.
Now, just because one woman can deal with
her abortion, doesn't mean every woman
can. But remember... Just because
one woman can't deal, doesn't mean other
women can't either. It goes both
ways.
from what you are writing, I conclude that
you did not have an abortion. Am I
worng? If you did not, how can you
relate and give advise to other
women?
no, I have not had an abortion; but that
does not mean I have never experienced the
pain of a bad choice - or sometimes the
pain of the best-but-still-traumatizing
choice - nor does it mean I cannot have an
opinion about the right to do what I want
with my body. It also means I have the
right to inform women of their rights over
their body, and that they are not bad
people for exersizing that right when
needs be.
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3166 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 10-30-06 13:12pm
Great points eiri!!!
Just because she has never experienced
having an abortion, does not mean she can
not feel empathy for those who have (i.E.
Her mother). I have never had a
toothache, but I can certainly put myself
in the shoes of a person who has and say,
"i feel for your pain".
If you have read some of the other posts
that eiri has done you would see that she
obviously knows what she is talking about.
She is a great supporter of women and
their rights. I personally thank her for
that!
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EugeniaBrown
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2006 Posts: 94
Posted: 10-31-06 00:08am
mommy35
wrote:
just because she has never
experienced having an abortion, does not
mean she can not feel empathy for those
who have (i.E. Her mother). I have
never had a toothache, but I can certainly
put myself in the shoes of a person who
has and say, "i feel for your pain".
If you have read some of the other posts
that eiri has done you would see that she
obviously knows what she is talking about.
She is a great supporter of women and
their rights. I personally thank her
for that!
i am not sure if I can follow the
logic..... Is abortion the same as
thoothache, or a finger cut?
When you have a toothache or cut your
finger, after pain is gone and your tooth
or finger is healed, it will take you a
moment to even remember which tooth
bothered you or which finger did you cut.
I wish the pain of abortion was an the
same level. But even today, years past, I
would gladly take on the toothache
instead.
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Re: Desire For Replacement Baby. Posted: 10-31-06 00:19am
eugeniabrown
wrote:
i woud like to share with
every one here and artilce I wrote a while
ago.
you wrote the article
yourself? It seems so similar to the
ones I receive and read regularly that I
thought you had simply cut and pasted this
drivel from an anti-choice site.
Interesting that you would claim it for
yourself. Could you perhaps post a link
to the article or another way to verify
it?
Quote:
"number of women
after having terminated pregnancy through
abortion may become overwhelmed with guilt
and may become pregnant again desiring to
replace the child lost. While some of
the women carry the second baby to terms,
studies have shown that most of the second
abortions take place within a year of the
first one. If the pregnancy does take
place as a result of desire to replace a
child it definitely should be treated as a
"crisis" pregnancy, with much needed
support and tender loving care, otherwise
repeated abortion may take
place.
the .American
.Psychological .Association .A.N.D the
.Allan .Guttmacher .Institute (in
coalition with the .C.D.C) disagree with
you entirely.
Quote:
in spite of what
is being told about abortion, its
aftereffects are profound and our society
has not began yet to fully realize the
extent of damage abortion can
cause.
abortion is one of the
most studied, most documented procedures
because it has been around the longest.
Women from the earliest of recorded times
had ways of ending pregnancies that they
did not desire to keep. In fact, illegal
abortions have been studied and documented
in depth as well and the evidence
overwhelmingly supports that criminalizing
abortion procedures makes them more
dangerous and causes the most damage.
Quote:
if an abortion
has taken place in a marriage it is very
likely to disrupt the dynamics of a
healthy and happy
family.
having a child you are
unprepared or unwilling to care for will
"disrupt the dynamics of a healthy and
happy family" more than an abortion.
Living in poverty because you cannot
control your child bearing also disrupts
the dynamics of any family life and
poverty is more wide spread.
Quote:
it is
particularly true if subsequent children
were born out of desire to replace what
was lost to the abortion. But it does
not affect only children that are born
after an abortion, it affects children
that were born before as well. Some
children may develop a "survival
syndrome", while not being a medical or
psychological term, it definitely
exists in many children that were affected
by abortion.
based upon what? Your
opinion only?
Quote:
these children
will do just anything they can in order to
please their parents and people around
them. They often may feel that they can
not do enough to earn respect and love.
But on the other hand if a child is
misbehaving and call for some discipline
and reprimand, parents may be so
overwhelmed with guilt over past abortion
that hesitate to reprimand the child when
they called to so. This inability to
discipline and reprimand the child can be
present in parent-child relationship in
both with children that were born before
abortion as well as with children that
were born after.
it is so obvious that
you know very little about psychology that
it is staggering anyone would ever
"publish" an "article" like this.
Quote:
to break through
this kind of vicious cycle, the couple who
may have had an abortion would need some
deep soul searching and maybe some
professional help as well. The good
news that there are many people today who
come forth and talk about their personal
experience of abortion and its
aftereffects on their lives. The
support groups are being formed around the
world where people help each other on the
path of healing after
abortion."
only 10-13% of the
population, according to the .American
.Psychological .Association, has any
lasting problems following an abortion.
Of these few, the majority of them had
psychological problems before the abortion
ever took place (again, according to
meta-studies published by the .A.P.A).
Perhaps you should use legitimate and reputable
sources the next time you attempt to write
an "article" about abortion.
I suggest that this thread be moved to the
abortion debate forum as it is
argumentative, ignorant of actual
published studies refuting it's basic
thesis, and is not supportive in any way,
shape, form, or fashion for individual
.Women who may be coming to this forum for
support and .Actual .F.A.C.T.S.
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 10-31-06 00:21am
eugeniabrown
wrote:
mommy35
wrote:
just because she has never
experienced having an abortion, does not
mean she can not feel empathy for those
who have (i.E. Her mother). I have
never had a toothache, but I can certainly
put myself in the shoes of a person who
has and say, "i feel for your pain".
If you have read some of the other posts
that eiri has done you would see that she
obviously knows what she is talking about.
She is a great supporter of women and
their rights. I personally thank her
for that!
i am not sure if I can follow the
logic..... Is abortion the same as
thoothache, or a finger cut?
When you have a toothache or cut your
finger, after pain is gone and your tooth
or finger is healed, it will take you a
moment to even remember which tooth
bothered you or which finger did you cut.
I wish the pain of abortion was an the
same level. But even today, years past,
I would gladly take on the toothache
instead.
that is .You and only
.You and it is gladly not indicative of
the experiences that the vast
majority of .Women who choose to obtain an
abortion will go through.
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EugeniaBrown
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2006 Posts: 94
Posted: 10-31-06 01:04am
jenn_smithson
wrote:
that is .You and only .You
and it is gladly not indicative of the
experiences that the vast
majority of .Women who choose to obtain an
abortion will go
through.
i never claimed to represent the majority.
But if some one who comes in to look for
opinions, they should not be cheated of
opinions that abortion hurst me.... I
since I have been reading the forum
lately, rarely woman come is in here being
100% if she is making right decission, she
deserves to hear evry one's opinion. I
had be hurt by abortion and am not affried
of telling this to onother woman.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 10-31-06 02:17am
eugeniabrown
wrote:
mommy35
wrote:
just because she has never
experienced having an abortion, does not
mean she can not feel empathy for those
who have (i.E. Her mother). I have
never had a toothache, but I can certainly
put myself in the shoes of a person who
has and say, "i feel for your pain".
If you have read some of the other posts
that eiri has done you would see that she
obviously knows what she is talking about.
She is a great supporter of women and
their rights. I personally thank her
for that!
i am not sure if I can follow the
logic..... Is abortion the same as
thoothache, or a finger
cut?
no, and that's not what she meant.
Empathy, despite the level of pain
involved with the event, is universal.
And I have gone through emotionally
painful events that were all my fault;
several in fact. So emathizing with the
pain that someone else expereinces because
of a desicion they have made or a mistake
they have mad and now need to fix, I can
relate to. I've been through events that
I "flash-back" to (a reference the
wonderful post from pro-life. Nice post
^_^) and believe me, I know it is hard to
get over these things.
However, there have been other times where
I made my desicion and dealt with the
consequences and got over it right away.
So the point is... Anyone can ut
themselves in a woman's shoes, and try to
see life from her point of view.
Remembering to abandon your own
preset-ideals while doing so is the hard
part.
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EugeniaBrown
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2006 Posts: 94
Posted: 10-31-06 02:29am
eiri
wrote:
eugeniabrown
wrote:
mommy35
wrote:
just because she has never
experienced having an abortion, does not
mean she can not feel empathy for those
who have (i.E. Her mother). I
have never had a toothache, but I can
certainly put myself in the shoes of a
person who has and say, "i feel for your
pain".
If you have read some of the other posts
that eiri has done you would see that she
obviously knows what she is talking about.
She is a great supporter of women
and their rights. I personally thank
her for that!
i am not sure if I can follow the
logic..... Is abortion the same as
thoothache, or a finger
cut?
no, and that's not what she meant.
Empathy, despite the level of pain
involved with the event, is universal.
And I have gone through emotionally
painful events that were all my fault;
several in fact. So emathizing with the
pain that someone else expereinces because
of a desicion they have made or a mistake
they have mad and now need to fix, I can
relate to. I've been through events
that I "flash-back" to (a reference the
wonderful post from pro-life. Nice post
^_^) and believe me, I know it is hard to
get over these things.
However, there have been other times where
I made my desicion and dealt with the
consequences and got over it right away.
So the point is... Anyone can ut
themselves in a woman's shoes, and try to
see life from her point of view.
Remembering to abandon your own
preset-ideals while doing so is the hard
part.
i never had an itention to upset any one.
Now while some say that prolifers are
angry, I did not have a warm welcome here
either....
I even apologized to some, without even
knowing whether they have forgiven me.
And I disrespected no one.
I will continue to post here. But I
promise never post whenever a woman is
100% sure she wants to have an abortion.
Even if I am the only woman on earth that
regrets her abortion, I would like to
remain the only one. Can you see what I
am saying?
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 10-31-06 10:32am
eugeniabrown
wrote:
even if I am the only woman
on earth that regrets her abortion, I
would like to remain the only one. Can
you see what I am
saying?
not really. Why would
anyone choose to live in regret
for long periods of time? You obviously
thought that you had to make that choice,
twice, and since you felt compelled to do
so, since you did not stop yourself from
doing so, your reasons must have been
enough to justify an action you clearly
believe was wrong. Since you justified
it enough to go through with it, it seems
strange that after the abortions your
reasoning and justification weren't enough
anymore. If your reasons were enough to
allow you to hurdle over your belief
system, they should be enough to continue
justifying your actions to yourself.
Also, the way you have presented your
comments, thus far, is not that you, and
you alone, experienced regret following an
abortion but that other .Women should not
obtain an abortion because they will feel
regret as well. The vast majority of
.Women who obtain an abortion feel relieved
after it is over. Those who report
experiencing problems were found to be
suffering from psychological problems
before the abortion ever
took place. Those very, very, very few
who did not have pre-existing problems
usually require only some authentic counseling from
qualified individuals to put their
feelings into the proper perspective.
The majority of .Women do not regret their
abortions. Those who do can receive
therapy from licensed individuals that
will help them put their regret into the
proper perspective and deal with it
emotionally so that it can be resolved.
Choosing to live in regret when there is
the opportunity to have the situation
resolved does not make sense to me unless
it is deliberate in order to make a claim
regarding your beliefs.
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