Since the original thread, which was
started on december 3, 2004, was locked,
here is the beginning post once again:
i have been reading several threads here
and the main consensus I am finding among
most (but not all) of the posters is that
a woman who obtains an abortion will
without exception suffer some long lasting
psychological trauma. Even when provided
with evidence that this is not the case
for most women, this attitude still
persists.
I am not sorry, nor have I ever been. I
experienced an ectopic pregnancy and
immediately sought an abortion. Had the
embryo attached correctly, I still would
have sought an abortion. Now is not the
time for me to be having a child. I
recognize this fact and have made a peace
with it. I do want children one day but
that day is no time soon. I was not
depressed, suicidal, upset, or sad about
the procedure then or at any time. Under
similar circumstances (i.E. I'm poor and
still a student), I would still seek to
obtain an abortion. For any woman
contemplating an abortion, you will not be
automatically stricken with depression or
loathing for yourself. If you have doubts
as to this, please thoroughly rethink your
decision as you may not want to obtain an
abortion if you feel so strongly against
it. If you have read other threads on
here, there is no garauntee that you will
end up like some of these women who are
claiming to be sorry about their abortion.
Most women feel relief after their
abortion because they realize and
recognize that this is truly the best
decision and option that they could make
for themselves. If you are being
pressured by a significant other or by
your religion or by anyone/anything else
to continue the pregnancy when you don't
want to, tell them politely where to shove
it and the same is true if they are trying
to get you to choose abortion when you
don't want to. This choice is yours and
yours alone to make. Only you know when
is the right time to become a parent and
if that time is not now, you will likely
not regret this decision that has to be
made.
I have had an abortion. I am not sorry,
depressed, or loathe myself. If I become
pregnant again in the near future or at
any time that I do not wish to be, I will
not hesitate to seek and obtain an
abortion. This is my life and I am living
it in a way that I do not regret. If you
have to make a decision, make the one you
will not regret, I did and felt relieved.
If you are feeling guilty or depressed
about your decision, ask yourself why?
Why do you feel this way? It obviously
was something that had to be done at the
time, so why feel guilty about the
inevitable? Is there someone or something
making me feel guilty? Why would they
want to do that? Could I have made a
different decision and still have the life
I want to lead? A good doctor/counselor
should ask you those questions and help
you with the answers to those questions.
If you are facing an abortion, remember
that you do not necessarily have to feel
regret, pain, anguish, or depression over
it. It was a decision that had to be made
and obviously, for whatever reason, you
have justification for not choosing to
continue the pregnancy. Choose the
course of action that you can live with.
Peace,
jenn
|
bthomas
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 32
Posted: 10-31-06 14:11pm
Most women feel relief after their
abortion because they realize and
recognize that this is truly the best
decision and option that they could make
for themselves.
(can't figure out the quote thing)
i agree with this, and I think that
almost, if not all women feel some sort of
sense of relief when they obtain an
abortion. Whether or not they feel
anything else at the time or later, I
think that that sense of relief and
empowerment to take charge of your own
life is apparent at the time.
Beth
|
Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 748
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-01-06 10:28am
I agree with bthomas. I recall reading
something on abortions, surveying women
who have had one or more. While some may
have admitted regret, sadness, and so
forth, a majority of them stated they felt
relieved. When you're
incubating a fetus you do not want, are
not ready for, or cannot support, it
becomes a burden and not a joy like people
try to say it always is. Someone correct
me if i'm wrong, but do you not feel
relieved when a burden is lifted from your
life?
Some women may whine about how they wish
they could have the fetus they aborted,
but at that time in their life, it more
than likely wasn't a good time (i don't
know of any women who abort for the joy of
aborting). They fail to think about how a
child would have impeded them in life, and
may have stopped them from achieving any
significant things in life, if they did.
Besides, if the urge to have a child is
that powerful, they can have more when
they're ready...Whatever 'ready' is by
their standards (marriage, good job, own a
home, etc.)
aside from all that, sometimes I wonder if
women who hold high regrets for an
abortion(s) they had ten or more years ago
have psychological problems. Losing a
living, breathing, functioning, born child
of any age is understandable...But
mourning over something for years and
years you chose to terminate that was not
even born yet? I'm still waiting to see
obituaries for aborted fetuses from women
who were sorry.
Whatever. It's good to hear from women
who aren't sorry for seeking abortion.
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 74
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Posted: 11-01-06 10:45am
Cambion I agree with you on one part some
people may regret abortion but have you
ever thought that a woman may regret
pregnancy?
Personally I hate pregnancy, I got
extremely ill from it and now suffer from
a diesease since pregnancy "gerds" because
I didnt take care of my acid reflux during
pregnancy I will suffer for life. Now if
I could get pregnant and give birth the
day after I could deal with it but
pregnancy isnt that big joy.
I love my kids to death but pregnancy
wasnt that big hype that alot of people
seem to make it, alot of people feel the
same way so we know that feelings are
mutual.
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 11-01-06 17:46pm
A question: why was this moved to the
"debate" forum? I posted it on the
support forum to help other women by
showing them that they do not need to
regret having an abortion and that if they
feel relief following the abortion, that
that is a normal reaction as well.
I can't help but notice that the numerous
threads on the support forum having to do
with women who regret their abortions are
still there even though those stories may
make a woman who does not feel similarly
feel unwelcome to the site.
I was offering a balanced perspective so
that every woman, whether they regret or
not, feel comfortable at the support
forum. Without the other side present,
the message is very clear that if you have
an abortion, you will regret it because
look at all of these stories saying that's
true.
Would you like me to edit my story to be
able to stay in the support forum? If
so, please point out the parts that you
would like me to change. I think it is
vitally important that women seeking
information on abortion be given the whole
story and the whole truth. The whole
story is that there is no gaurantee about
how they, themselves, will feel about
obtaining an abortion (there is only
statistics that state that they have a
good chance of not regretting their
decision) and the whole truth is that the
majority of women who obtain an abortion
do not regret their decision.
I would very much like to either have my
original post moved back to the support
forum where it will help women who would
like to read it or to start a new thread
in the support forum detailing my own
experience of abortion and how I never
have and do not regret the decision.
Please tell me what I can do to keep my
thread in the support forum where it was
intended and where I believe it belongs.
|
paganangel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2005 Posts: 377 Location: VA
Posted: 11-02-06 00:11am
Why do people feel the need to post their
own personal stories on the support forum?
Unless someone asks about a specific
situation and your story relates that
situation you should just leave it
alone....People should only post when they
are seeking help or giving help....Running
around posting a bunch of stories is
useless...Doesn't matter if they are
pro-life or pro-choice. All it does is
starts arguments between people.
If a person posts that they regret their
abortion they are told to take it to the
debate forum...But a pro-choice person can
run around screaming 'yay I had a
wonderful abortion today' and it's
supposed to be okay?
In my opinion there shouldn't be any
topics posted by people unless they are
genuinly seeking help.
Why not just support people when they need
help and leave your personal stories out
unless they are asked for.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 11-02-06 01:04am
paganangel
wrote:
why do people feel the need
to post their own personal stories on the
support
forum?
because their positive stories are
supportive.
Quote:
[...]
if a person posts that they regret their
abortion they are told to take it to the
debate forum...But a pro-choice person can
run around screaming 'yay I had a
wonderful abortion today' and it's
supposed to be
okay?
yes, because this is the abortion support
forum. You're supposed to support a
woman's choice on here, not post about how
horrible you think it is just because
you had a bad experience.
Now, if someone posted about their bad
experience, but how they are still
supportive of a woman's choice to have
one, then it would be fine. But saying
"my abortion sucked and so I don't think
any other woman has a right to have one"
is not
supportive.
Quote:
why not just
support people when they need help and
leave your personal stories out unless
they are asked
for.
because the personal stories are
supportive.
|
Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 748
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-02-06 09:58am
Quote:
why do people
feel the need to post their own personal
stories on the support
forum?
it helps women seeking support to know
they aren't the only ones, and I feel it's
pivotal that not every last story on that
forum isn't from some whiny, emotionally
unstable woman who may have had a bad
experience and who feels it's necessary to
tell other women not to abort. I wish
people would stop being so narrow-minded,
assuming everyone else is exactly like
them and will have the exact same bad
experiences. If you had a bad experience
that you've whined over for twenty years
and somehow "know" every other woman
seeking abortion will feel the same, then
go take your zoloft and publish a book
about your incredible scientific findings
on your power to tap into women's minds
and know exactly how they will feel
post-abortion.
|
paganangel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2005 Posts: 377 Location: VA
Posted: 11-02-06 11:05am
paganangel
wrote:
why do people feel the need to post
their own personal stories on the support
forum? Unless someone asks about a
specific situation and your story relates
that situation you should just leave it
alone....People should only post when they
are seeking help or giving help....Running
around posting a bunch of stories is
useless...Doesn't matter if they are
pro-life or pro-choice. All it does is
starts arguments between people.
If a person posts that they regret their
abortion they are told to take it to the
debate forum...But a pro-choice person can
run around screaming 'yay I had a
wonderful abortion today' and it's
supposed to be okay?
In my opinion there shouldn't be any
topics posted by people unless they are
genuinly seeking help.
Why not just support people when they need
help and leave your personal stories out
unless they are asked
for.
again...Unless your story is asked for it
really isn't necessary.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 11-02-06 13:01pm
Yes, it is, and we all just told you why.
|
paganangel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2005 Posts: 377 Location: VA
Posted: 11-03-06 02:51am
eiri
wrote:
yes, it is, and we all just
told you why.
the stories are still not necessary to the
support forum. I guess it's the attention
seeking people that find it necessary.
Make a post all about you so everyone can
pat you on the back and give you a high
five...Well great for you but
again...Unless someone is truly interested
in your story...Their is no need for it in
a place designed to answer the questions
of curious women.
If someone comes there and says hey this
is my situation and you have been in that
situation...Great you should post away but
just to post it there for attention is
silly.
|
Jules
Moderator
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3752 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
Thanks: 75
Thanked:65
Posted: 11-03-06 03:04am
I think all abortion stories, good and
bad, should be under one thread entitled
'my story' or suchlike. I believe
.Cherry88 started one.
It's not fair to allow one particular
story to have precedence over another.
At the moment, jenn's story, entitled 'i'm
not sorry' is standing alone and I don't
think that's appropraite because it only
gives one view. It would be better to
put it in with other ladies' stories.
Women who are considering an abortion have
the right to be able to hear both sides of
the story because they are can be in a
very vulnerable place. It's only right
that they hear from ladies who regret as
much as from those that do not. Then
they can make their own mind up about how
they think they will feel.
However, I think such stories should be
edited to remove any comments about
abortion in general such as 'it is right'
or 'it is wrong'. It should just be a
personal story without any diatribe thrown
in.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-03-06 10:57am
paganangel
wrote:
eiri
wrote:
yes, it is, and we all just
told you why.
the stories are still not necessary to the
support forum. I guess it's the
attention seeking people that find it
necessary. Make a post all about you so
everyone can pat you on the back and give
you a high five...Well great for you but
again...Unless someone is truly interested
in your story...Their is no need for it in
a place designed to answer the questions
of curious women.
If someone comes there and says hey this
is my situation and you have been in that
situation...Great you should post away but
just to post it there for attention is
silly.
do you even have a coherent reason why you
think they're not necessary? We've given
plenty of reasons why they are. Your
turn.
Aren't succesful pregnancy stories
acceptable on the pregnancy forum?
Aren't happy birth-control stories
acceptable on the birth control forum?
Any post on either of those forums about
how pregnancy is stupid because it's
overpopulating the world, or a post about
how birth control is evil and god will
send you to hell, would be immediately
deleted.
How about a post somewhere else about how
someone has leared to manage their
migraines? Or, a post yet elsewhere
about how someone broke their leg, the
story of the injury and recovery, and how
they're better now? Alright so that last
example is stretching it, but you get my
point.
Part of the healing process for any
stressful situation comes from sharing
your story with others. This is why the
stories need to be told. Women have each
other to relate to.
|
bthomas
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 32
Posted: 11-09-06 07:47am
I have to say the reason I told my story
was so that women on here would know how
to support me, and it really was part of
the healing process, your abortion story
was likely a pivotal part of your life,
but also (most of the time) a secretive
one. I tell my story where it's "ok" to,
but I have to tell you, it helps me more
than anything. I validate my own
feelings when I tell it over again. And
I know most of you think that when we have
regrets, or sorrow over an abortion that
lasts for years and years we have deep
seeded issues, but for me it was
traumatic, I was a young teen and it is
something that I work through, but I can't
get past.
|
Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
Posted: 11-09-06 09:13am
purestgreen
wrote:
i think all abortion
stories, good and bad, should be under one
thread entitled 'my story' or suchlike.
I believe .Cherry88 started one.
It's not fair to allow one particular
story to have precedence over another.
At the moment, jenn's story, entitled
'i'm not sorry' is standing alone and I
don't think that's appropraite because it
only gives one view. It would be
better to put it in with other ladies'
stories. Women who are considering an
abortion have the right to be able to hear
both sides of the story because they are
can be in a very vulnerable place.
It's only right that they hear from ladies
who regret as much as from those that do
not. Then they can make their own
mind up about how they think they will
feel.
Its standing alone because jenn decided to
talk about it. If someone want to post a
story of there life and how an abortion
affected them . Then by all means please
do so...
However, I think such stories should be
edited to remove any comments about
abortion in general such as 'it is right'
or 'it is wrong'. It should just be a
personal story without any diatribe thrown
in.
|
diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 74
Thanked:104
Posted: 11-09-06 10:59am
purestgreen
wrote:
i think all abortion
stories, good and bad, should be under one
thread entitled 'my story' or suchlike.
I believe .Cherry88 started one.
It's not fair to allow one particular
story to have precedence over another.
At the moment, jenn's story, entitled
'i'm not sorry' is standing alone and I
don't think that's appropraite because it
only gives one view. It would be
better to put it in with other ladies'
stories. Women who are considering an
abortion have the right to be able to hear
both sides of the story because they are
can be in a very vulnerable place.
It's only right that they hear from ladies
who regret as much as from those that do
not. Then they can make their own
mind up about how they think they will
feel.
However, I think such stories should be
edited to remove any comments about
abortion in general such as 'it is right'
or 'it is wrong'. It should just be a
personal story without any diatribe thrown
in.
if anyone else posted it would have been
fine nothing wrong with informing people
they regretted their abortion but when
they say you will regret your abortion as
well that is wrong and that is what
eugenia did!
