Last edited by EugeniaBrown on 11-04-06 01:03am; edited 1 time in total
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Jules
Moderator
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3688 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
Thanks: 52
Thanked:57
Posted: 11-03-06 14:02pm
Mmmm, interesting thread. I've never
thought of how to broach the subject of
abortion with a child before. Depending
on the age of the child, I would probably
say something like, "mummy had a baby in
her tummy but she wasn't ready to look
after it just yet so the baby went away".
I think you'd have to be very careful to
ensure your child doesn't get to hear
about the abortion because it could really
scare a little one. Older children - 10
years old and onwards - could perhaps be
told a watered down truth.
i am not sure if one can
realy pin point to the true reason behind
abortion, since every situation is so
different. But "unwanted
pregnancy/child" seams to be that common
element in many abortion perforomed.
Now my question is to married ones and
particualry those who have other
children.
We adults often presume that children do
not hear all of our convesation. And to
no surprise as little as kindergrandeners
can say "my mommy had an abortion. Of
cousre a little child does not understand
the meaning of all words, but he or she
may remember those words and learn the
meaning later. Hopefully child will
learn about abortion under your
guidance.
What would be a practical way to convince
this child that he or she was "wanted" vs
the child that was
aborted?
ignoring the obvious flaws like, for
instance, i'd never talk about these
things with my child in the house, much
less within earshot, and going to the
issue at hand:
if this situation happened to me, and I
aborted my second child instead of keeping
(why!?) then i'd either have to be living
on the street or in a shelter (in which
case... How did I afford the abortion?)
or in a severely abusive relationship, in
which case I would't have been talking
about the abortion anywhere near my
husband... Although i'd never stay in an
abusive relationship but that's another
issue entirely, or the baby was going to be
severely disabled, or I
would have died if I hadn't.
And if my child heard me talking about it,
I would first explain that this is a grown
up thing, but if s/he wanted to know about
it, I would tell them. Then I would
explain what (in general) an abortion was,
probably along the lines of "mommy had a
little baby growing inside of her but:
a) it was too sick to grow up right
(further detail if needed/asked for by
child)
b) mommy's body was too sick to make it
grow up right, and mommy could have died
trying (further detail if needed/asked for
by child)
c) we need to live in a better place
before we can have another baby (if I was
on the street)
d) daddy is mean, as you know, and mommy
can't have another baby while we're still
with the mean daddy, because he might hurt
it.
I really don't ever see #3 or #4 happening
to me, since i'd never get myself into
that kind of a situation. But they are
valid examples.
Then I would explain to my child that they
had not been sick inside of me / I had not
been sick / we'd had money and a good
place to live / a nice daddy / when i'd
carried them inside of me, and that i'd
wanted them very much, and that I loved
them.
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3761 Location: A perpetual state of busy, In the land of Tired.
.I personally think one can be too open
with a child, though. Sometimes, a child
just doesn't need to hear all the nitty
gritty details because they have vivid
imaginations and are very egocentric; they
may believe they are to blame somehow.
I do wonder how people explain away the
protest signs that some pro-lifers display
with graphic pictures of aborted babies
on. That must give children
nightmares.
Mind you, kids are strange and the things
you assume would scare them don't and the
things you would never dream would scare
them do! My son screams if he
sees a remote controlled toy moving
.I personally think one can be too open
with a child, though. Sometimes, a
child just doesn't need to hear all the
nitty gritty details because they have
vivid imaginations and are very
egocentric; they may believe they are to
blame somehow.
I do wonder how people explain away the
protest signs that some pro-lifers display
with graphic pictures of aborted babies
on. That must give children
nightmares.
Mind you, kids are strange and the things
you assume would scare them don't and the
things you would never dream would scare
them do! My son screams if
he sees a remote controlled toy moving
being a pro-life, I am absolutely against
thes kind of signs. They accomplish
nothing and may even cause problems. It
can bring a flashback to a woman wridivng
by, what if an accidnet happens and she
dies? Who will be held responsible.
I woudl realy like to hear though how can
you tell your child the difference of
being "wanted" and "unwanted" and explain
to him/her that they were more wanted then
the other?
i agree purestgreen, there can be such as
thing as "too open" -but I think it
depends on careful phrasing and the age of
the child.
Eugenia, I really think it depends on the
age of the child. And I wouldn't address
this until the child reached sexual and/or
emotional maturity, and then maybe it's a
good time for that lesson in general. If
you are a careful parent, you keep
something like that a child could
miscontrue and think it pertains to them
(that egocentricism purestgreen brought
up) out of their ears.
Why couldn't you just tell your child the
truth, anyways? In language pertinent to
their age range, of course.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 11-03-06 18:43pm
I myself would always call it a procedure
around the house around the family as the
is what it basically is. Maybe if he she
got older, I might explain as my young
adults know about my situations,
procedures. I would not want to put them
on a guilt trip being young and there
would really have to be a reason for me
aborting.
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