1. If you are choking on an ice cube,
don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down
your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while
slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold
them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the mrs. About
lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers:
simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus
reducing the pressure in your
veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your
alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and
going back to sleep after you
hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large
dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid
to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your
thumb with a hammer and you will forget
all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember
what the rules of life really are: you
only need two tools - wd-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn't move and it should, use the
wd-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use
the duct
tape.
9. Remember: everyone seems normal until
you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to
the bathroom.
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mommywannabe78
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2006 Posts: 161
Posted: 11-17-06 12:35pm
Lmao... I could really stand to use the
mousetrap thing...
thanks for that! I
really needed a laugh 