This topic is not on behalf of myself i'm
not pregnant and i'm not a teen i'm
actully nearly 41 this topic is for my
teen daughter who I am very concerned
about.
Well my daughter who has just turned 16,
she has always had irregular periods was
late by 9 days, so on the way home from
work (on the 7th) I brought a pregnancy
test and later that night I asked her if
there was anyway she could be pregnant
and she truthfully said she had been
sleeping with her boyfriend but had not
been using condoms because of the birth
control pill well anyway we did the test
which was positive and the next morning
the other test it was the same result .
So that night I told her father and we sat
with her and explained how hard and
expensive it would be but assured her we
would respect and back her descision all
the way, she told her boyfriend and it
seemed that he didn't seem intrested she
has claimed he has but they dont ring and
text each other anymore or seem to see
each other.
I told her if she chooses to keep this
baby I will stand by her and give her all
the help she needs but we haven't got the
room her we got a 3 bedroom house with me
and my husband in a room her and her
sister in a room with doesnt have much
more room in and her two brothers in a
room we really don't have the room so she
couldn't stay her and right now we can't
afford to buy a new house
but right now she seems to hate me and she
keeps avoiding making a decison on what
she is going to do
i don't know how I can help her i'm really
concerned I love her I wanna be there but
she is pushing me away and wont even talk
to me
what should I do
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oh_mommy
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Joined: 04 Sep 2005 Posts: 3678 Location: vancouver island, bc canada
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Posted: 11-17-06 18:03pm
I think what your doing and saying is
great.. Your being a great mother to take
the news that way... I know it helps
alot...
Your daughter probably just needs to think
things threw.. Leave her alone for a
couple days maybe and then bring the
subject back up..
I unno, sounds weird to me that shes not
talking to you... Your being so
supportive and alot of young girls dont
get that support from their mothers....
Sorry im not much help
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AyaMiyaki
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Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 7611 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
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Posted: 11-17-06 18:28pm
Why would she hate you if you were being
supportive...?
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foxy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2006 Posts: 487 Location: Nassau, Bahamas
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Posted: 11-17-06 18:36pm
She is probably not speaking to you
because by saying that yall don't have the
room so she couldn't stay.....She feels
that you are kicking her out.
She may also feel like you are pushing her
to quickly make a decision that she is not
ready to make yet.
I agree with .Oh_mommy, just give her some
space to come to grips with the whole
situation and think about what she is
going to do.
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neighbours
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 363 Location: London
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Posted: 11-17-06 18:49pm
Maybe she feels guilty for all the support
you're giving her cos she thinks she
doesn't deserve it. I'd say just take a
back seat for a little while and she'll
come to you when she needs you
Last edited by neighbours on 11-18-06 06:12am; edited 1 time in total
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arcadia
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Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4455 Location: Illinois,
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Posted: 11-18-06 00:37am
Is there any way the baby could stay with
her in her room while she maybe finds a
new place to live? That's why .I may end
up doing. I am 20 years old, but my
boyfriend &.I are trying to get on our
feet, so for a few months, .I may be
living with my parents &the baby will
stay in my room with me. It's great
you're being so supportive of her! Just
keep it up, she's probably very confused
&very scared right now. Give her a
little time to think things through.
She'll come around!
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Sail Away
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Posts: 1170 Location: Missouri
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Posted: 11-18-06 00:45am
For 1, I give you props for being
supportive, thats really awesome but for
2...If she just turned 16 she's not
legally able to move out so if you kick
her out the chances are she will most
likely end up in a foster home, if my mom
was kicking me out and I was pregnant and
had no place to go, i'd hate you too.
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vaness66
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2
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Posted: 11-18-06 07:11am
16 is the legal age to move out away from
parents well it is over in the uk and she
could stay in her room with baby but she
shares with a sister who is still at
school aswell and there isn't much room in
there but I was thinking maybe doing a
loft extension but wouldnt that but too
cold for a baby or we maybe could just
afford a extension im not too sure wyet
cause all they do over is here is give
them free council flats and they aint
nothing glamourous its one room a bathroom
and a kitchen
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 7798 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 11-18-06 13:26pm
(((hugs)))
keep trying to talk to her. She is going
to have to be an adult now, whether she
likes it or not. This is only the first
decision in a very long line of decisions
she'll have to make.
Make sure she knows that even if she
leaves, you aren't turning your back on
her and she is welcome anytime. This is
going to be a really confusing time for
her - especially with all those hormones
racing around!
Good luck!!
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Sail Away
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Posts: 1170 Location: Missouri
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Posted: 11-18-06 14:08pm
vaness66
wrote:
16 is the legal age to move
out away from parents well it is over in
the uk and she could stay in her room with
baby but she shares with a sister who is
still at school aswell and there isn't
much room in there but I was thinking
maybe doing a loft extension but wouldnt
that but too cold for a baby or we maybe
could just afford a extension im not too
sure wyet cause all they do over is here
is give them free council flats and they
aint nothing glamourous its one room a
bathroom and a
kitchen
well, maybe she could get on some kind of
benefits since the uk seems to be really
good with giving anyone welfare (from what
i've seen and heard) and since she does
really need it, it would probably really
help her out. Even if they do only give
free council flats like that, its better
than living on the streets you know? And
I think i'd rather live there, instead of
with a friend. She can save up money and
eventually get an apartment or
something.
We have a program over here in my state,
i'm not sure if you guys have it in the uk
and what not but if you have a baby and
your income isn't high enough they'll let
you live in these really nice apartments 2
bedroom, etc etc. My sister is renting
one at the moment and pays 12 dollars a
month and they cut down on your bills and
stuff so you can afford it.
I'm sorry your in this situation, it
sounds pretty crowded in your home.
You could always find a bigger house to
move into aswell, if you cant afford it
then i'm sure there's some type of benefit
that will help out, you just have to get
in contact with the right people and
research.
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Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3583 Location: South East, England
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Posted: 11-18-06 17:30pm
Just be suppotive is the only advice I can
give you. My parents wern't really too
suportive for about a week or so, so I
didn't talk to them because I didn't know
what to say. Aslong as she knows you are
going to be there for her no matter what
her life will be so much easier, she is
probaerly thinking through all of her
options and trying to come to terms with
it at the moment
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Jolie_3110
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 1756 Location: Essex, England
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Posted: 11-18-06 17:44pm
I agree with most other people, give her
time and let her come too you. She will
probably still be dealing with the shock
of being pregnant at the moment esp. If
the boyfriend is being a plank too. You
support is going to mean the world to her
though believe me.
On the fact of council homes, yes she will
probably be able to claim for one but
depending on where you live and whats on
offer she might not get a lot. I know
single mothers with one child who have got
lovely flats and I know others who have
been offered bedsits.
A loft ext is a good idea if you can
afford it. If you are worried about it
being too cold maybe extra insulation
could be added. My friends bedrooms in
the loft and she has the hottest room in
the house. What with all the heat
rising.
I really wish you, your daughter and the
rest of your family the best of luck!
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