Wont Leave His Momma..help

Alyvia does the same exact thing! I'll put her in her swing in the kitchen and do the dishes with her not three feet away from me and she'll scream her little head off. She won't "cry it out" either, she just becomes hysterical.

So what .I've started doing is putting her in her swing for a few minutes, doing a handful of dishes, then comfort her. After 5 minutes or so, put her back in her swing, do a few more dishes, etc.

The dishes don't really get done (or the laundry... Or the vaccuuming... Etc) but at least it's something and I don't feel like a bad mother for leaving her to scream for long periods of time.

Does that help at all?

Babies sometimes go through phases. Attachment phases etc.
In my opinion, I would give them lots of love and security during those times....Because they wont be babies forever. They just grow way too fast and pretty soon they get to the point where they dont want their mama kissing them etc. My sons the same way.

You have such a great view on that, .Nat!

<3

Ya thats true. But then I dont want landon to be like one year old and cant be away from me like he is now u kno? And just screams the whole time when theres a babysitter when I go out u kno? I just hope it doesnt turn into that. But ya that helps tho maybe just do little bits at a time and then comfort him but its really hard to do anything cuz its almost instant when I put him in his swing he just knows lol.

He is still very young. I wouldnt worry about that... You should def. Read some baby books...They also dont recommend letting a baby "cry it out" until at least 6 months, but the technique is very specific, you dont just let them scream the whole time, you comfort them and then try again.
Personally though, I dont believe in cry it out. I have done a lot of reading about this and studies show that babies that are given the affection and attention rather than being left to cry it out grow up to much more secure, self confident and successful.

I've done the .Ferber .Method since about 3/4 months. I find it *excellent*!!!! My .God, my child is soo laid back because of it, it's insane. I can walk away, clean my house, read a book, take a bath, and she'll just sit there and watch carefully and soak in everything I do.

When she cries, I offer her a toy, and walk away. Normally, she'll want her pacifier, then she'll be cool.

I had her outside in her seat at 3 days old. I didn't have to hold her because she was sooo calm outside. Still to this day, if she gets to riled up, i'll step outside.

Raising your baby is completely up to you. You can never do it "wrong". Ya know? Love your baby all you want!!!!! Kiss em, and play with em, all day long. I know I do.

I just don't immedietly pick her up when she cries. And for that she's slept in her bed all through the night since about 2 months. If she awakens now, I go in, put her noonie back in, and walk out.


I *love* playing with her!!! It's sooo fun!! I'm gonna be sad the day I gotta start workin!!!

Sarah

I don't believe in letting brayden cry either, and have never let him cry just because they .A.L.W.A.Y.S. Cry for a reason, except now that brayden is older, I can tell what is his hurt cry, his want cry and his spoiled cry and even then he never cries because I hate that...I hate to see him sad like that and not picking him up when he does either of his cries makes it even worse. Brayden don't sleep through the night, he is almost 9 months old and wakes up 5-6 times during the night. I have tried everything, but I refuse to put him in his crib and walk away. I would rather wake up that many times during the night, even with having work and school than to know he's in his crib feeling alone and crying. He usually sleeps with me anyways, with one of those baby guards.

To the girl who made this post - you said ""i put him in his bed he just screams for hours literally"" if you let your son scream for hours then you need parenting classes..I know a child isn't going to cry and cry because of no reason, and for you to let him cry for .H.O.U.R.S. Is very wrong. You should be concerned about fixing what's wrong with him, and not so concerned about loosing sleep. No baby needs to "learn" to be alone, so like I said....Parenting classes.

Crying when you leave is totally normal-
as far as he's concerned- if he can't see you, you're gone, and that's scarey for him. It's a scarey place, the world outside the womb.

My daughter was the same, wasn't happy if I wasn't holding her even if she could see me- it was exhausting.

No matter what you do, babies will go in and out of these phases.

I find it's good to teach them that you are still around, even when he can't see you, and that you'll keep coming back too, you're not gone for good!!
Try playing games like peek-a-boo where he'll learn that just because your face is hidden from view, you are actually not gone away, speak to him from other rooms so that he can hear your voice, put him in his chair, or, if it's easier, his pusher and move him from room to room with you, keep talking to him, but not actually holding him-maintain eye contact when you can, gradually you may find he's happy at greater and greater distances from you.

I'm sure that letting *my daughter* self soothe has helped her in every way.

She has also slept through the night *in her bed* at 5 weeks old. She naps in her bed as well.

I put her in her bed awake, turn on her mobile, and walk out. I nev er hear a peep out of her.
On the rare occasion that I do, I simply walk in, replace her noonie, and leave. Period.
If she cries, I know it's only because i'm not there anymore. And that's something that she will have to get used to.

*i'm* not always going to be there. She will have to enter into a day care, so preparing her, in my eyes, is best for *her*.

I *never* let her cry for hours. Ever. "hours" is a loooong time. At 3 months, I let it go for 5 mins. 4 months, 10 min.

Since she was 5 months, I could tell a defference in her cries. Theres, the "i'm hurt" scream, "i'm hungry", "i'm sleepy", "i want your attention" cries. Knowing them is key!!!
Lol....It's a strange thing how the tone of a cry allows us to communicate!!

I take every oppurtunity to play with her.
Except at nap/night night time. There's no eye contact, no singing, no humming. If I do that, she's up, and *not* wanting to go to sleep. Hell, mommy's singing, let's paaartay!!

Sh't, i'm not saying if you don't go by the .Ferber .Method, than you're a bad mom.
I'm simply stating that it works wonders for me and I would recommend it to anyone with a small child.

It's all about will power...And knowing your child's cues.

Everyone is an awesome mommy on this board!! Our baba's are sooo lucky to have such fun, fyyne, mommies!!!!

Sarah

I think its really cruel to leave a baby crying however many months they are. I would never do that to my son, no matter how tired I was or how long he was doing it for!

I hate this subject, it makes me sad how a lot of moms think its ok, those poor babies, its awful for them to be left alone and upset to 'cry it out'. its not acceptable imo

I love laura's idea on this.

Baby needs to learn that mommy won't be gone forever, that she comes back. It's like learning personal security and the first learnings of trust.

Doing a hand full of dishes or folding a few items of laundry is awesome because baby should learn mommy is only ever gone for a few minutes.

When you have baby in the swing or rocker or whatever while you do chores, make sure you are close by, so they can see you and keep talking nonsense to baby the whole time so they know you are there.

Chu doesn't do that. He cries for us when he wants us. Since he likes to play by himself if he cries for me then I know I need to be with him. He's been like that since he was about 3 mos old I think. Before that he cried if we would leave him in his bed or his bouncy seat. I didn't put him down until after I had played with him, changed him and fed him so I knew he wasn't crying for all those things. It's unrealistic to ask someone to spend their entire day holding an infant to prevent him from crying. You need to eat, shower, etc. You have basic life needs too. We let him cry. Then we'd go in and give him binky or talk to him until he quieted then leave again. Now he can fall asleep on his own, and knows how to get us when he wants us.

Wow im so glad I asked your ladies for your advice. It does totally make sense coming in and out of the room if hes just in his crib awake if im doing stuff around the house so he knows im still around that totally makes sense to me and somehow I never thot of that. Landon is sleeping thru the night most of the time its awesome. Thanks for all the advice I really appreciate it