Dyspareunia (pain During Intercorse) Guy Needs Help Posted: 11-24-06 21:54pm
Hey, I am brand new to these forums and
this is my first time posting. I am just
wondering if anyone else is in my
situation or have any advice. I am a 20
year old college student, my girlfriend is
21 and only has 1 semester left of
college. We have been dating for over 2
years. About a year ago she had surgery
to remove a cyst from her ovaries. The
operation went very well but she still has
endometriosis which causes dyspareunia
(pain during intercourse). She says it is
a lifelong condition that will never get
better or go away. I have tried reading
things and looking up information but that
is basically the answer that I get. We
don't have sex really, we have done it a
few times but it has been close to a year
since we last tried it. It just hurts her
so much and I don't want to hurt her so I
wont do it if it hurts. But it is just so
frustrating to have life without sex. I
love her deeply and if things keep going
the way they are I can see marrying her in
a few years. But the whole sexual issue
is the fly in the ointment in a manner of
speaking. I mean every once in a while we
will have oral sex with each other. But I
think she is uncomfortable with me or with
her body. She is so sexy and I tell her
this but if anything it is getting worse.
She will only perform oral sex on me maybe
once or twice a month and at that I have
to almost beg her to do it which is such a
turn off. Also she almost never lets me
perform oral sex on her and I don't know
why because I know she always enjoys it.
She is rather well endowed (busty) and I
am a huge fan of that. But over the last
year she has become extremely reserved
about them and stops me if I try to
squeeze them or play with them. I think
she is afraid that if she allows me to
that I will want more and she does not
want to do any more. It is just
frustrating having a girlfriend with no
sex drive. I love her so much and I just
want her to be happy but what do I do when
something that would make me happy
conflicts with something that makes her
happy?
I don't know, just any advice from anyone
out there or if anyone out there has
dyspareunia and advice about it I would
greatly appreciate it.
Thank you
bob
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Lily23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Apr 2008 Posts: 1
bob and help Posted: 04-14-08 15:21pm
Bob,
I totally feel for you. I myself am in a
similar prediciment although I am the
female half of the 'problem'. I understand
how your girlfriend feels because it is
such a difficult burden to have an
association between pain and sex, these
two are totally unhealthy when in
connection. I sugest that she see a
therapist, there perhaps may be little she
can do to help with the physical pain but
if she seeks advice as to how to deal with
the pain emotionally she may be able to
develop better coping mechanisms, ones
that ultimately consider you and your
needs as well.
