Joined: 09 Oct 2005 Posts: 49 Location: Baltimore county
Am I Falling Back Into It? Posted: 11-28-06 21:15pm
Hey everyone.I havent been on here in
months.See, I am recovering from anorexia
and bulimia for about a year now.I went
into the hospital(sheppard pratt) december
2, 2005.It was hell, let me tell you.But I
am in a much better place then I was.But
recently I have been get anxiety when I
eat certain foods and jsut when I eat.I am
"checking" myself a lot more, like my
stomach.I have chewed snacky foods and
spit them out just to get the taste.And
its like somtimes I eat because im hungry,
but then there are the times where im
thinking how bad I want to be skinny again
and so I just dont eat what I want.And
nobody knows but I also have been taking
stackers after I eat.It makes me feel so
much more comfortable to eat,is that bad?I
know I could be doing much worse but its
like im falling back.I like that I am
social again and that im living my life,
but then there is the times where I want
my ed back again and would die jsut to be
skinny like I was.I try to convince myself
that my weight is a "normal"(hate that)
weight but then other times its jsut not
good enough.I feel like I ahev this huge
battle inside my head.If anyone can relate
or has any advice please write.Thanks
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roopoo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2006 Posts: 15
Posted: 11-29-06 15:57pm
Hey, yeah I can definitely relate.
Ive been recovering from bulimia for a few
months now.I a "normal" weight too, but I
hate it..Plus, in comparison to what I
was, I seem way too big to be normal.
It doesnt help, that I have ibs, and am
constantly bloated, to the point of
looking pregnant.Whilst its some
consolation that its not fat..In some ways
its worse, because I can get rid of fat.
Yeah..I miss being skinny..I miss seeing
my bones.It made me special..Now im just
another fat lump of a girl.
I dont have any advice though...If I did,
id surely give it.Im still in therapy
too..And my therapist seems to thinkim
coming to the end of the treatment..Theres
nothing else she can do..But I know im not
recovered.Yep..It almost feels like this
is such a huge part of us, its our lives,
and whatever we try to do, we're never
goping to be abe to rid ourselves of it.
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4
Posted: 11-30-06 05:49am
Hi, hun'. Please be strong. You are such
a strong person, struggling against all
these problems and still you can be so
supportive and really help people who need
help and comprehension.
Please, you can get rid of all those
thoughts and problems, I know that you
can. You are very strong, sammy! Please
don't give up.
Keep me up to date, please.
Kisses, luv ya
