Depression Forum - Coping With Bereavement

My best friend louise's dad died in july this year. She is 20. Which may not be young, but still too young to lose her father. He died of a sudden unexpected heart attack. She has two other brothers, both older by a few years. They now just live with their mother.

Since it happened, obviously the family has been devastated, but slowly louise and her brothers are getting their lives back on track, and trying to get back to normal. She's at university, she has a job, and she's coming out with me and other friends. Since their dad's death she has become closer to her mum, they still live with each other, and any time they're not together they text each other saying they'll see each other soon, and I love you and all the rest. Louise is really trying her hardest to be as much of a support for her mum as she can. Her mum however is a complete emotional wreck. And i'm really worried for the family. The mum has been into hospital once or twice and put on suicide watch. Every time it seems she is getting better, it all goes down hilll all over again. She's attempted an overdose, and was only saved because louise found her and called the ambulance. Even though she is on antidepressants and gets therapy, she still continually lashes out at louise. She cant cope with the fact louise is trying to get her life back on track, and she says the most awful things to her. All the time. Such as; she is responsible for her father's death. She is selfish, and her dad is looking over her and is ashamed of her. She's sponging off her dead father's money. It doesnt matter to her that he is dead, she doesnt care less.

Louise has never been allowed to mourn, because all her mother cares about is her own feelings. Of course, the woman has lost her husband, but she wont acknowlege that louise has lost her father!!! At the moment, I am comfortable being able to say she is an unfit mother, no daughter should have to take the kind of verbal abuse that my friend does. Any time she shows any sign of happiness her mother just beats her down with this kind of verbal assault, filling her with shame and guilt.

I dont know what to do. I wish there was a way I could fix all this, I wish my friend never had to hear these awful things ever again. But she has such a sense of responsibility to her mum she isnt going to leave home any time soon. She has simply come to accept these things her mum says. She's used to it. Noone should have to get used to it.

On top of losing her dad, she is also terrified to come home one day and find her mum dead by suicide. This hangs over her every day. I only wish there was something I could do or say to make it better but i'm scared to intervene in something that isnt really my business, something that is a family affair.

Has anybody any advice for me or her family?