Please help me im 18, 7 and a half weeks
pegnant and living in the uk. I have an
appointment for an abortion tomorrow. My
partner doesnt want me to have it, but I
can't make up my mind on what to do. If I
do go through with it im worried ill
regret it, but im in university and won't
be able to carry on if I do have a child.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-11-06 05:10am
You have to weigh your feelings against
the pros and cons of abortion vs adoption
or keeping this pregnancy.
Why are you worried you will regret? You
need to figure out those feelings. Do you
view abortion as "my body, my choice", or
do you have more of an attachement to the
fetus inside? Do you have conviction in
the fact that you will be able to have a
child when you are ready; and that sparing
a child from pain is important? Or do you
feel that this is an act of heartlessness?
You'll have to reach inside to see how
you truly feel. If you decide that you'll
regret it more than anything, then maybe
adoption is a better choice.
That said, I personally think abortion is
a fine solution in this situation. It
will prevent a child from entring the
world of adoption and possibly never
having a real family; and it will also
prevent it possibly being raised by two
parents who can barely support it on
minimum wage jobs. I'm not saying it
isn't possible that it could find a loving
family, or that you couldn't provide for
it. But those things are out there.
Abortion allows you to continue your
eduaction, and you know
that a child isn't suffering.
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alesh
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Dec 2006 Posts: 2 Location: uk
Posted: 12-11-06 05:21am
My bf is asian his parents would kill him
if they knew the situation he was in as he
has to have an arranged marriage. Part of
me doesnt want to have it because I know
he definately can't be with me and I want
to carry on with university, but the other
part of me is telling me I want it.
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005 Posts: 3173 Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 73
Thanked:104
Posted: 12-11-06 10:05am
alesh
wrote:
my bf is asian his parents
would kill him if they knew the situation
he was in as he has to have an arranged
marriage. Part of me doesnt want to
have it because I know he definately can't
be with me and I want to carry on with
university, but the other part of me is
telling me I want
it.
this is where you need time to youself,
take a day to yourself without anyone
around and just relax/think things over,
like eiri said write out the pros and
cons.
Do you think you will stay with the same
guy? Do you see yourself being with him
10 years from now? Im am/was married to
an asian person and the culture thing
kinda tore us apart/i hate his family with
a passion. I have two kids and im going
to be a single mom, he loves his kids but
he doesnt want anything to so with them if
we split cause he wants freedom to meet
whoever and start a new family.
I had my kids because at the time I loved
that man at a time and now life is going
to be tough as hell and I have no one who
will help me!
Think things through and think of your
future, can you provide?
You should honestly see someone at planned
parenthood and get all of your choices
before making a final decision!
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 12-11-06 20:44pm
You have two basic options when you are
pregnant, to remain pregnant or not.
Adoption would be a separate decision once
you have decided to keep the pregnancy.
You should consider keeping the pregnancy
if:
* you believe you should
* you have access to nutritious foods
* you have access to health care for the
entire length of your pregnancy
* you have financial support, either by
yourself or from others, for the duration
of your pregnancy
* you want to remain pregnant
* you are willing and able to take on all
of the physical risks that accompany
pregnancy.
* you are willing and able to give birth
* you are emotionally prepared for a
pregnancy
* you have emotional support from your
significant other and family
you should consider an abortion if:
* you believe you have the right to do so
* you do not have access to nutritious
foods
* you do not have access to proper health
care
* you do not have access to financial
support
* you do not want to remain pregnant
* you are unwilling or unable to take on
all of the physical risks that accompany
pregnancy
* you are unwilling or unable to give
birth
* you are emotionally unprepared for a
pregnancy
* you lack emotional support from your
significant other and/or family.
This decision is yours and yours alone to
make. You should make it for yourself
because in the end, you are the only
person who will have to live with the
decision.
Peace,
jenn
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